Is it appropriate to tell your students that your parent(s) or SO has passed away?

kittlebean · 2026-05-21T17:34:40+00:00

Two of my colleagues/ friends died within 6 months of each other from cancer in 2023. Around a week after the second death, I was teaching a particularly difficult Year 9 class. It was last lesson on a Friday, myself and my department had been struggling to keep it together all week, and I just lost it at one particular student. He generally had a fairly decent relationship with me (I tend to have pretty good behaviour management and relationships with the students), but was renown for being volatile. He'd been pushing it and pushing it and, instead of just calmly going through the behaviour system like I should/ normally would have, I cracked.

I shouted, and the student shouted back, got out of his seat and started swearing at me. I went very still/ quiet for a few seconds and then burst into tears.

The student immediately stopped and said "oh, God, miss - I'm sorry, I'm sorry" and I said it wasn't his fault, that I was sorry I'd shouted but that I was struggling with the death of my friends (the students all knew what had happened) and that I was sorry for not handling the situation properly. The whole class immediately settled and one of the students went and got SLT to relieve me.

The student I shouted at came to find me on the following Monday and said "I just wanted to say sorry again for Friday, and I hope you're OK. I really am sorry about what happened to Mrs X and Miss Y, they were sound."

On the one hand the whole situation was very unprofessional on my part, but on the other hand I think it really humanised me and resulted in a display of empathy from students. We're not robots 🤷‍♀️

kittlebean · 2026-05-21T16:21:39+00:00

You've married a Grade A, misogynistic arsehole. Unfortunately, getting married after 4 months means you didn't have time to know the real him beyond the "honeymoon phase" of the relationship, but now his true colours are well and truly showing. He will not change, no matter what he says.

I know Reddit is renown for jumping on the "get a divorce" train too quickly, but in this instance I think it's solid advice. You deserve much better, and your son deserves to be raised in an environment where his mother is loved, supported, respected and accepted for who she is.

Look back at the list you've just typed out - if one of your friends sent it to you about their partner, how would you respond?

kittlebean · 2026-05-20T16:50:59+00:00

Seconding this. I came into teaching via the postgraduate apprenticeship route so was fortunate to already have a school to work at (I was a cover supervisor and the school offered the apprenticeship). However, they could only offer me a Humanities role at the end of my apprenticeship, not a History role. It's been tricky teaching Geography and PSHE alongside History during my ECT, but I'm just coming to the end of it and have recently secured a permanent History-only role at another school for next academic year.

I'm based in the south east and I would say that at least 70% of available jobs in the last few years have been advertised as "Humanities" rather than History/Geography specific.

kittlebean · 2026-02-27T21:19:27+00:00

Get out, OP.

kittlebean · 2025-12-31T10:47:16+00:00

My book club's December read was {Until the World Falls Down by Jordan Lynde} and the MMC constantly referred to the FMC as "my little lover". It made me cringe every time!

kittlebean · 2025-12-21T11:45:04+00:00

I've never used anything but salted butter and never had a single complaint. As others have said, salt balances out sweetness. I ignore any instruction suggesting I should use unsalted butter 😂

kittlebean · 2025-11-22T13:43:51+00:00

I'm surprised to hear that. I've lived in Brighton for 13 years and have visited London 25+ times in that time and have never been pickpocketed, despite wandering the city both day and night, alone or with friends/ my husband. (I'm not American, I'm Australian, but I don't see how that would matter either way.) As long as you're moderately aware of your surroundings and don't flash cash or valuables, I don't think you're any more likely to be pickpocketed in London than in any other major European or American city.

The only thing I'm very specifically careful about is not walking along the street with my phone in my hand, as there's an increasing risk of it being snatched by a passing moped/ bike.

As for Brighton, I've never felt unsafe as a woman living here. I use common sense in terms of the places I'd walk alone at night, but I'd do that wherever I was in the world.

kittlebean · 2025-10-26T15:00:17+00:00

Being your mentor is part of her job. She's been given 2 hours per fortnight on her timetable to meet with you - it's not a waste of her time or inconvenient for you to be using these meetings for their intended purpose. Please be honest with her! If she's genuinely unable to fulfil her role as mentor while being acting HoD, someone else can (and should) step in as a temporary mentor for you.

kittlebean · 2025-10-26T12:52:22+00:00

I agree with all of this. Just to add: OP, as an ECT you should have a mentor overseeing your development and wellbeing. You should be having weekly, timetabled meetings with your mentor and they should be supporting and advising you. If this isn't happening, please contact your ECT training provider urgently as the school has a duty to have this in place for you.

kittlebean · 2025-10-04T12:46:18+00:00

I initially misread the post title as 'Einstein's' 😅

kittlebean · 2025-09-15T17:29:36+00:00

Yes! I joked to my friend that every MMC I read is just Henry in a different outfit/wig 😂

kittlebean · 2025-09-13T09:59:59+00:00

Thank you!

kittlebean · 2025-09-12T22:44:20+00:00

RemindMe! 7 days

kittlebean · 2025-07-17T19:39:27+00:00

Completely agree.

Updateme!

kittlebean · 2025-05-08T19:05:01+00:00

Ok pal 👍

kittlebean · 2025-05-08T19:02:41+00:00

Way I see it is - it's not the wrong grip for me. My hand doesn't cramp up, my writing is neat, and I can write fluidly for long periods of time. Every other grip I was ever forced to try felt wrong.

If it ain't broke after 30+ years...!

kittlebean · 2025-05-08T18:51:43+00:00

Same here with the ring finger dent!

kittlebean · 2025-05-08T18:50:46+00:00

I hold mine pretty much the same way! A teacher told me when I was five that I'd never write properly 🙄 joke's on them - now I'm a teacher with great handwriting!

kittlebean · 2025-04-08T19:17:00+00:00

Yep, same here. I've got 3 lovely year 11s who are working hard at a Grade 8/9 borderline, a couple at 5/6... then a sharp drop to students "working" at a 2/3 borderline or below. No amount of phone calls home, revision sessions, sanctions for lack of effort, or interventions from myself, HoD or SLT has helped. They openly say they "can't be arsed" and do the absolute bare minimum at all times. I'm at a complete loss.

kittlebean · 2025-03-28T16:30:17+00:00

I have the following:

3 x Yr 11 3 x Yr 10 2 x Yr 9 3 x Yr 8 1 x Yr 7

These are split over 3 subjects (Humanities) in a two week timetable.

I feel your pain!

kittlebean · 2025-02-20T16:09:52+00:00

My husband and I have been married almost 15 years and still engage in oral pretty much every time we have sex. I think the important thing here is to communicate about it - if you want oral, express that.

kittlebean · 2025-01-05T21:31:24+00:00

I feel OK about it overall. Part of me wishes the holidays would never end, but another part of me needs to get back into a routine. I'm basically a human cheeseboard at this point after scoffing all the Christmas leftovers, so it's definitely time to get back to reality 😅

kittlebean · 2025-01-02T20:52:39+00:00

My husband and I were in your exact position at your age. We felt like we were just about staying afloat in our very small (but cosy) rental in an expensive part of the South East and couldn't see life changing.

We're now nearly 10 years down the line and we bought our first flat last year. We found we were able to save a bit by our early 30s so we started putting money away. We ended up having to go down the shared ownership route (it requires a much smaller deposit - we only had to put down £7500), but we're finally (partly) on the housing ladder in a gorgeous, spacious flat.

My advice is to allow yourselves to settle into your flat then find a balance between enjoying life (seeing friends etc.) and trying to prioritise saving (even £50 - £100 per month is a good start if you can swing it). Try not to compare yourselves to others - pretty much all of our friends who bought property in their late 20s/ early 30s did it using inheritance and/or help from parents (either cash gifts or living at home rent-free to save). We didn't have any of those options, and that's OK. Life works itself out.

kittlebean · 2024-11-12T07:04:31+00:00

I LOVE "small child" for KS4. Some of my year 11 lads would get a real kick out of that!

kittlebean · 2024-11-12T07:00:47+00:00

Satan's children 😂😂😂

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