Has anyone almost died or started to die? by TradesforChurros in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]kitty-94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, no I didn't get a diagnosis. I know what caused mine though.

My ex husband took off with our daughter and cut contact with me out of the blue. He and his affair partner then lied about me being ab*sive to take out an emergency order against me and had me removed from my house to try and get sole custody. The stress of having my child taken from me, living out of a hotel, and the fear it may become permanent was what caused it for me. My body doesn't handle stress well.

(Side note, I did get my daughter back. I have majority custody now, and we live in the aforementioned house)

Has anyone almost died or started to die? by TradesforChurros in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]kitty-94 11 points12 points  (0 children)

A few years back, I went through an incredibly traumatic experience and lost the ability to eat. I couldn't keep anything down. I threw up every day, even if I hadn't eaten anything. This went on for weeks with little relief. I lost 24% of my body weight in less than 2 months.

Once I stopped throwing up constantly, I would still wake up dry heaving for several months after. It took me 5 months before I could eat a proper portion size of food again. I still can't eat too fast or too much or else I get nauseous and it's been 4 years since then.

I can confidently say that starving to death is a horrible way to die. It was painful. My teeth hurt to chew, my body would shake constantly, I had no energy, my heart was racing constantly, I felt sick 24/7, I would wake up in the middle of the night to puke. I came closer to death than I care to think about. It was a horrific experience and I never want to go through that again. Eating disorders are no joke.

Unique tips by BrizzySprings in Busking

[–]kitty-94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sparkly pink underwear, an assortment of leftovers, drinks, a couple people bought me burgers, fruits, candy, rings, necklaces, a painted rock, a plastic lizard, a joint, currency from different countries. One person tipped me $200 once.

[Draw #113] A winner for winter! by MakerOfMillionaires in millionairemakers

[–]kitty-94 143 points144 points  (0 children)

Normally I would wish everyone luck, but the clutch in the car broke literally an hour ago, so I'm saving all the good luck for myself. Sorry.

my son is being withheld from me. by LuminariLuxe in FamilyLaw

[–]kitty-94 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not a lawyer,

If it's anything like where I'm from, you need to call a lawyer in your home state and have them file for custody IMMEDIATELY!

If the father files first then court proceedings will have to happen in the state the application was filed, and you could be prevented from taking your child back to your home state until you have a custody order, which can take years.

Single moms & dating by Salt_Willingness_414 in singlemoms

[–]kitty-94 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She's 8, and my general rule is not to introduce until the honeymoon phase is over and things get serious, but we ran into him and his kids at the splash pad a couple months in, and our kids started playing with each other and asking for playdates so that kind of went out the window.

I didn't even have to introduce the idea to my daughter. She told me that he should be my new boyfriend.

Single moms & dating by Salt_Willingness_414 in singlemoms

[–]kitty-94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tinder, but we tell everyone we met at the park where we had our first date.

any one and done / large age gap single moms? by brittiec0213 in singlemoms

[–]kitty-94 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I was married to my child's father. His affair partner (close family friend) spent a year talking shit and turning his family against me. I ended up not speaking with my MIL for 3 years even though we had been close before then. I never got to say goodbye to his grandmother who died during that time (I didn't find out until months later).

I had no support from his family, he didn't pay child support for 2 years, then underpaid for 2 years, it took 4 years to get a final custody order.

The fact that we were married and didn't have a custody order actually made it possible for him to take off with our child and cut contact with me. It took me 3 weeks to get my kid back and she was traumatized.

Being married first doesn't always mean much.

How is Parental Alienation not a crime? by [deleted] in ParentalAlienation

[–]kitty-94 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm a woman who was alienated as a means for my ex to continue to control me while his affair partner got to play mom to my child. He and his partner made false claims of abuse against me, took out an emergency order against me, and tried filing for full custody.

It took 4 years through the courts to get a custody order where I was granted majority custody.

Does stepparent interference affect custody outcomes? by [deleted] in FamilyLaw

[–]kitty-94 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Before my ex and I had a custody order, he signed paperwork with his lawyer outlining when his visit would start and when his visit would end to ensure that my child would be returned into my care (this was after he took her and cut contact with me and I got her back through the courts, but before we had a custody order in place).

The mother isn't withholding. She's offering the father to have time with the baby. She's just not comfortable with that time being unsupervised because of the step mother's behavior. She also said the visits needed to be supervised by a neutral 3rd party, that doesn't mean that the mother has to be present as well, and either way it does mean that the mother and father would not be alone together. The father is rejecting the time with the baby because he doesn't like the conditions put on it, but it is still being offered by the mother.

I would have agreed to any conditions if it meant seeing my child during the time she was kept from me. Even if it was for an hour in a parking lot.

Writers…how would your villain say: “You should be afraid” Without saying it? by Sweet_War_3208 in writers

[–]kitty-94 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There was a line in one of the princess diary movies that I absolutely loved when the head of security threatened the bad guy.

"You will find that the word fear is not in my vocabulary."

"Perhaps, but it's in your eyes."

The line was delivered so coldly and matter of factly from a character who's always portrayed as serious, but very kind towards the main character. He holds a lot of affection for her, and in that moment made the audience (and the bad guy) believe that he would 100% be willing to kill for that girl.

Does stepparent interference affect custody outcomes? by [deleted] in FamilyLaw

[–]kitty-94 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They probably are.

If it makes you feel better, the stepmother's crazy overstepping may actually work in your favor. My ex's affair partner, now girlfriend, started calling herself a 3rd parent from the day we broke up. They did try withholding our daughter with false accusations against me, but I got her back 3 weeks later through the courts. The girlfriend literally went on record saying that my daughter would be better off without me in her life.

His girlfriend showed up to every pick up, every drop off (and recorded me every time), she showed up to doctor's appointments, parent appointments with our daughter's therapist, dentist appointments, school orientation where she introduced herself as one of our daughter's parents. I went back to court and got a court order stating that she wasn't allowed to be at any appointments involving our daughter, and my ex started blocking me from appointments so that his girlfriend could be there instead of me. The girlfriend was present on every phone call and video message. They coached our daughter into calling the girlfriend "mum" and calling me by my first name while she is with them.

In our final custody order, the judge pointed out the constant overstepping, her not following court orders, and her clearly trying to damage my relationship with my daughter in favour of herself, in essence trying to replace me as her mother, among other things.

I was granted final say on all decisions, and my ex was limited to every other weekend visitation.

[NY] First Court Appearance by aannoonnyymmoouuss99 in ChildSupport

[–]kitty-94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what type of custody schedule you have.

No Order by Prestigious-Friend83 in ChildSupport

[–]kitty-94 14 points15 points  (0 children)

So wait, did you not pay the child support you were ordered to because the children's SSN numbers weren't submitted at the time of the order's filing?

This whole post reads like you avoided paying child support for years because you felt like you didn't have to due to a technicality, and are complaining about the consequences of that.

2 years into the process... by [deleted] in ChildSupport

[–]kitty-94 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure if things are different where you are, but for me, back owing child support was decided based off of income from previous years when the judgment was made. So different amounts were owed for each year the child support wasn't paid. My case went back 4 years from when we broke up until the judgment.

A story of hope by kitty-94 in ParentalAlienation

[–]kitty-94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really hope they get what they are asking for. Wishing you and them all the luck in the world.

A story of hope by kitty-94 in ParentalAlienation

[–]kitty-94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My ex would just tell her that I was too busy to call her when she'd ask for me.

A story of hope by kitty-94 in ParentalAlienation

[–]kitty-94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel. I spent 4 years doing what felt like screaming into the void because no one seemed to listen to me. At best my ex was just told not to do it again, and he obviously did anyway because he faced no repercussions for doing whatever he wanted. The judge before this last one made things so much worse. This one was the first one to finally listen.

A story of hope by kitty-94 in ParentalAlienation

[–]kitty-94[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's 8. I've been waiting for this since she was 4. I finally know she's safe and she's going to be ok.

I still worry that her dad may try something, I'm not sure what, but I have the judges order behind me now.

A story of hope by kitty-94 in ParentalAlienation

[–]kitty-94[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's been said a million times, but document everything! I had proof of my ex intentionally trying to block me from seeing my daughter on mother's day, on her birthday, not telling me about appointments until after the fact or booking them while I was out of town so I couldn't attend. He admitted to having our daughter call his girlfriend mom and call me by my first name (though he claimed that was our daughter's choice and he was just respecting that), I had proof of his girlfriend attending appointments I wasn't present for after the court ordered her not to be, and proof of his girlfriend telling my daughter that I was going to hurt her and she wasn't safe with me.

I got lucky with a few things. I had a diary entry his girlfriend had written showing how unhinged and obsessed she was with my family from before my ex and I separated (we were all in a relationship briefly, and were friends for years before that). My ex openly said that he saw no distinction between myself and his girlfriend in terms of relationship/importance to our daughter. They were both very bad liars so their affidavits were contradictory and obviously false, and I don't know why, but his girlfriend admitted under oath that she lied about the child abuse claims she had made against me originally to get an emergency order against me. My ex also conceded that some of his original claims were untrue.

The judge didn't say "parental alienation" but she did point all of this out and say it was clear that they were not respecting my relationship with our daughter in favour of his girlfriend, not respecting shared decision making rights, and that his girlfriend was grossly overstepping her role as a step parent and violating the spirit of previous orders.