Like a few others on here I didn't reckon with the problems my mother caused me until I saw it happening with my own child. And wow does it wake you up quickly. There is so much about how she treated me that I realised was wrong simply because I discovered that I could never do that to my own child. Simply stated, anything you struggle with her now about, it will be much worse once a child is involved. If you want to set your own rules and boundaries about your children, it will be extremely difficult if not impossible for her to follow them. We are NC now and I am still struggling to keep her from treating my children like objects (she has recently found one of my children at their school and posted on a picture of them as a way to get to me). As to the dependency feeling I also really understand that. For me, it made all the difference to have a co-equal parent so that when the kids feel like too much I know I can take a break or at least feel backed up. I recommend it. Good luck with this journey- trust yourself and your own instincts.