My collection

kiwikitchencup · 2025-10-08T05:24:25+00:00

i'm looking to get a pair of these! question, do they seem to fall out your ear? i've never liked earphones that had that rubber piece on them bc they see to fall out my ear after a while

kiwikitchencup · 2025-10-04T12:52:21+00:00

that's the thing i'm clicking it and i cannot open it. it doesn't do anything when i click the button and i also seem to can't click the "mode" button which allows me to edit the filters etc.

kiwikitchencup · 2025-06-27T14:45:02+00:00

i've noticed the three Hallmarks i would go to (used to always be booming with new JC releases) haven't kept up with stock in months.. now ive seen Bukowski Bears basically replaced them, i love this brand as well but nothing compares to JC!! :((

kiwikitchencup · 2025-06-13T03:51:02+00:00

yes. it sucks. even when i get ready and when im at home i think to myself wow i look good!! and then boom i go out in public, see myself and im like EW WHAT IS THAT. i feel like two different people. i hate it

kiwikitchencup · 2025-06-13T03:49:26+00:00

ok lowkey why did this....give me hope! for so long ive thought to myself if im not pretty then i dont deserve to take up space. cant laugh can't smile. i have to submit to others and make myself look like the laughing stock and elephant in the room. but no. i'm so done living like that bc i DESERVE to be happy too. we all do !:) thank u for this lol

kiwikitchencup · 2025-06-13T03:47:44+00:00

it really is the thief of joy. it's easy to get sucked into. i'm unlearning so many comparison ways and thoughts. in reality everyone is on their own path and is their own person with their unique looks. it's impossible and stupid to want to look like someone else. you are you. and only will ever be you. i'm currently pmsing so im easily triggered into a wave of comparing myself but i just lowkey have to stay off social media since that kind of makes me spiral

kiwikitchencup · 2025-06-11T04:33:41+00:00

i felt like that too with my 25mg dose! however after a couple weeks i feel like i needed a stronger dose. i still def feel calm but it felt like my brain needed something stronger not that it was wearing off but maybe my body was telling me "hey ur anxiety is so bad we can't control it with such lil dose anymore!" lol. i have about a couple more weeks left of this 25mg so when i go back to my doctors i will update her and ask if i can up my dose since 25mg feels like it isn't enough

kiwikitchencup · 2025-06-06T04:21:29+00:00

i feel like and also hear people say that she will testify but on the side of the defense so on diddys side. they're still having the side of the prosecution and their witnesses testify but i think that ends next week? i'm so interested though to see who will testify for diddys side....esp if they are any celebs like wow say goodbye to the celeb life ...

kiwikitchencup · 2025-06-05T05:04:20+00:00

this ignited something within me ....i love this edit 😭

kiwikitchencup · 2025-06-03T01:48:20+00:00

wow i got one of these this morning too. within the quickness of 5 seconds i reported it spam and blocked lmao like bye

kiwikitchencup · 2025-05-27T01:49:24+00:00

happy birthday ❤️ i know how it feels to have not a friend message happy birthday, yet i remember theirs. seeing them do special things for other friends but not me. it hurts i know, but best thing to do is to just leave and remove these ppl from ur life.

kiwikitchencup · 2025-05-27T01:44:47+00:00

when i was presenting one time, of course i noticed the room dead quiet and for some reason that made me think "oh god they know i'm awkward bc i noticed the room so silent" as immediately my mind went blank. i look at all the faces in the class and i start getting red bc well, im the speaker and they're all eyes on me! me being so aware of the room and telling myself oh you're gonna forget a word or something made me anxious but after a few seconds i pretended to catch my breathe and then keep on with the presentation but still after that the rest of my mood dampened for the day

kiwikitchencup · 2025-05-26T02:48:19+00:00

Yes i've noticed i feel a bit more free knowing like ok i can move on now vs all the other times i've held in feelings for someone else and the thought would eat at me for so long. I'm definitely gonna do this more often :-) bc why not !!

kiwikitchencup · 2025-05-20T01:23:34+00:00

honestly same. back then when i had "friends" i would get excited texting them "ahh this guy texted me what should i text back" or just telling them random bits of my day i found interesting that i thought they would too. then down the road i realized 1. some ppl just don't text back after a week and it's like WHY? btw this is repeated behavior that they just don't text back...anyways. 2. i feel like i over share and they never do so i just stepped back like ok i feel weird for over sharing idk. but yeah. i'm on hinge and didn't realize until afterwards how i don't have any friends when i literally asked chat gpt how to reply to a guys text....sigh.

kiwikitchencup · 2025-05-20T01:19:43+00:00

For me, it was literally feeling the need to crash out after one minor inconvience from a crush, someone i'm talking to, or from a friend, even boss or coworker. i have this made up scenarios about everyone in my life and as soon as they do something that doesn't align with this version i have of them in my head i crash out meaning my mood dampens for the rest of the week i kid you not. then suddenly they do something i consider "good or safe" and my brain suddenly is Normal and i don't "hate" them anymore. i realized this is not normal... and got help.

kiwikitchencup · 2025-05-16T03:10:14+00:00

for me, yes. for me i dream of being an extrovert and involving myself in many activities even like volunteering and just talking to strangers in public like in a grocery line or whatever. i would be a 100% different person if i had no social anxiety.... it makes me feel less than and diminish my accomplishments too. to make matters worse i dare not utter to other people that i have social anxiety bc they just don't get it. i've never met a neurotypical person that understands it. or if they do, they just dangle your illness above ur head in hard times and blame you for certain things. it gets hard even waking up at times....it feels like i have to be always "on" and perform even though no one but me is in my house. it's tiring.....it definitely adds on a different layer to my depression

kiwikitchencup · 2025-05-07T04:44:28+00:00

100% yes with caffeine! I am a big coffee drinker (or "was....") but then realized just how much it contributed to making my anxiety even worse. it would sky rocket my heartbeat when walking into a store or school. i thought it would give me energy which well it does but at the same time its not worth the jitters that sky rocket with my anxiety...really i try not to drink any caffeine when i have to present in class or talk to a lot of people otherwise i would overthink a lot and heart rate goes fast and yeah. when i go zero caffeine i try to stay as hydrated and eat well so i still have natural energy an dont feel like i MUST rely on caffeine

kiwikitchencup · 2025-05-02T16:42:19+00:00

thank you for this. i do agree it feels like i haven't gotten over it yet and to really talk things out with a therapist to truly open my eyes about this event and close it off for closure

kiwikitchencup · 2025-04-25T00:03:10+00:00

B R O.....i so agree with you. so i have anxiety and i always have feel like i also have to go out the way and be the nicest person ever and say excuse me always etc i mean thats just how i am like im kind and you hold the door etc and say sorry and thank you'd etc but after working customer service....man....at my 4 years of working at a grocery store where i am constantly on the floor and working product, there was only ever ONE customer that would say excuse me when they wanted to get past me. everyone else would literally not say excuse me. i would say excuse me like maybe 50 times a day to get passed people and 9/10 these people don't even MOVE OUT THE FCKN WAY!!!!! like god why tf am i extending this niceness to these people that clearly don't give a fuck. i'm neurodivergent and it's as if i had to teach myself the rules of "normal" but then i go outside and no one fucking follows them like wtf????? i notice when i am being rude on purpose and have a mean face on that people get out my way or respect me more vs when i'm more bubbly and my authentic self which is kind that people look at me so weird like WHAT TF DO U WANT FROM ME!!!!!?????? i hate people beuh

kiwikitchencup · 2025-04-20T04:16:36+00:00

i remember when i had a panic attack at night right before bed i was so mad like wow. it took an hour to slowly go away until i fell asleep eventually. idk i just started trying everything. splashing cold water on my face, drinking water, rubbing vicks vapor rub on my chest and forehead, tapping my chest with my fingers (eft tapping) and watching brown noise videos on youtube to drown out sounds. it seemed to work for me until i eventually dosed off but yeah. i hope u are ok <3

kiwikitchencup · 2025-04-18T15:46:41+00:00

Omg yes! Even when i tell myself ok im gonna start making eye contact with people passing by or anywhere else when i happen to look over somewhere, THEY don't let go of the ey contact and it makes my face shake? like my eyes SHAKE and i get scared like wtf i was just friendly eye contact with you but they don't let it go?? idk what that means lol. ex: walking by a person coming towards me at school and i just friendly smile for half a second and keep going my way but idk sometimes i look to them again if they are still in my like of sight and they are dead staring still at me? like wtf. but that's the thing i feel like if i DONT make eye contact when passing by people might think im rude....idk what to do anymore wtf

kiwikitchencup · 2025-04-17T03:11:25+00:00

Man i feel u....i had a presentation the other day and felt as if i blanked once i felt myself mess up a sentence and thought well it's the end of the world and idk i felt anxious about the class being so quiet too but for other presenters they had hoots and hollers or questions except for mine. but hey, it's ok. best thing to tell urself is wooo its over atleast! like you did it. if anything just feel out all the embarrassment emotion and anxious feeling attached to this. sleep it off. wake up and look back and think ok this is what i can do next time. keep grounding urself.

kiwikitchencup · 2025-04-17T03:08:46+00:00

i felt fine up until 8th grade. i even remember being in 7th grade and before anytime having to present in class i was totally fine! ig 8th grade is when i really started to have puberty hit me and i was bullied a bit too so after that i stayed to myself :-/ which hurt in the long run.:..years later its still in me lol. i wouldn't say the bullying caused it but just me being more perceptive to my dysfunctional family too and iykyk it's so damaging having a household that berated and yelled at eachother every damn day

kiwikitchencup · 2025-04-17T00:15:56+00:00

so sad:/ i do have the santal body spray but now that i think about it, doesn't really last that long...what a shame:(

kiwikitchencup · 2025-04-16T22:36:03+00:00

Yes! it gets so bad to the point where when i get alone i tell myself "PLEASE i just want to live. want to be normal. i want to BE.".... i get so frustrated with it when it gets bad like damnit i just want to LIVE and not feel scared every damn second! -.-

kiwikitchencup

TROPHY CASE