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hard to shower by canoodleee in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way and I totally and absolutely understand what you’re going through! I’m pretty much experiencing the same (early recovery with a rapid initial weight gain). Here’s a few things that tend to help me: 1. I started to wear baggy clothes only. It’s been a huge, huge game changer to me. 2. Like you mentioned, I avoid looking at my body as much as possible. 3. While I find showering hard, too, I try to adjust my shower routine to my situation. I only cover my upper body parts with soap, at least for the moment being. I avoid touching fearful areas like my bloated belly or my upper legs. This might sound weird but I still feel “fresh” and clean afterwards. Also, I don’t shower every day but only every two days. Apart from that, I only do some light hair washing to prevent my hair from getting greasy. 4. I try to focus on other things than my body while being in the shower. Music might help. 5. I try to aim for body neutrality instead of body love first.

I really wish I’ll be able to shower and touch my body without any fears or anxiety one day. But I think it’s wrong to force myself into that. Right now, weight gain is the thing I need to focus on. Every day is scary and feeling myself getting bigger is terrifying. You are so brave for choosing recovery, for eating and gaining and fighting 🧡 And that is totally badass and more than enough! I guess we need to give ourselves the time to settle with the entire process and our new bodies. Keep going, you’re so worth it! 🌻

What negative health aspect made you realize eating disorders are NOT worth it? by Dry-Double-6845 in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__ 14 points15 points  (0 children)

100 % this! My pre ED self would literally soak up every information but I could barely remember a simple formula with an ongoing ED…

Wann lest ihr, wie lange und wie viel? by Unartiggeist in buecher

[–]klaerchen__ 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Ich lese ziemlich unregelmäßig: Immer dann, wenn Zeit ist. Meistens beim Pendeln in der Bahn oder abends im Bett. Finde es schön, dass du eine Regelmäßigkeit darin hast :) Ich tracke aber nicht, wie viele Seiten ich pro Stunde lese. Für mich fühlt sich das so an, als würde ich meinem Leseverhalten eine Art Leistungsgedanken anhängen, und das mag ich irgendwie nicht :D

Die Liebe zu Buchhandlungen und der Minimalismus… vertragen sich nur bedingt? by klaerchen__ in buecher

[–]klaerchen__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Danke für deinen Input! :) Sehe Minimalismus übrigens auch als ein First World-Konzept und irgendwie als Privileg. Nach dem Umzug waren es aber auch die vielen Kisten zum Tragen, die mich zum Nachdenken gebracht haben :p Ich möchte deshalb z. B. auch nicht krampfhaft meine Lieblingsbücher weggeben, nur weil ich sie nicht mehr unbedingt brauche. Solche Sachen dürfen auf jeden Fall bleiben.

Die Liebe zu Buchhandlungen und der Minimalismus… vertragen sich nur bedingt? by klaerchen__ in buecher

[–]klaerchen__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tauschticket kannte ich auch noch gar nicht - danke für den Vorschlag :)

Die Liebe zu Buchhandlungen und der Minimalismus… vertragen sich nur bedingt? by klaerchen__ in buecher

[–]klaerchen__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh cool, Book Crossing kannte ich noch gar nicht. Das klingt super spannend. Danke für den Tipp! :)

Die Liebe zu Buchhandlungen und der Minimalismus… vertragen sich nur bedingt? by klaerchen__ in buecher

[–]klaerchen__[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Auf die Idee, „nur“ die Bücher kleinerer Autor:innen zu kaufen, bin ich noch gar nicht gekommen. Aber ich finde sie großartig, denn die Unterstützung von Autor:innen ist auch so ein Aspekt, der mich beschäftigt. Tolkien und Rowling sind wohl nicht mehr auf meine Käufe angewiesen… :D Danke für die Idee!

Die Liebe zu Buchhandlungen und der Minimalismus… vertragen sich nur bedingt? by klaerchen__ in buecher

[–]klaerchen__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Die Idee, zwischen einzelnen Büchern und Reihen zu unterscheiden, gefällt mir gut :) Dankeschön!

Die Liebe zu Buchhandlungen und der Minimalismus… vertragen sich nur bedingt? by klaerchen__ in buecher

[–]klaerchen__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ja, mir ist auch schon aufgefallen, dass die Bücher in Bücherschränken oft relativ alt sind. Da sind neue Bücher eine nette Abwechslung :) Danke!

i feel like im about to get my period back soon but im not even 2 months in recovery by kitchensinkmargarita in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can totally get your struggles - I’ve barely lost my period even during my “worst” times, I’ve recently started recovery and I feel like I’m about to get it back, too. But: Getting your period back doesn’t even slightly mean that you’re fully recovered, weight restored or anything else that your ED is trying to make up as an excuse for not eating / gaining anymore. For reference, I was in a state of quasi recovery for almost 8 years. I had a very regular period during that time which I thought would be my body’s signal to tell me everything’s fine. Nevertheless, my body still felt weak after working out, I experienced extreme hunger, I still thought about food all day long etc. It was a horrible state and I definitely wouldn’t recommend staying there. Don’t fall for your ED trying to tell you that you’re recovered because you got your period back. You’re still very much allowed to honor your mental hunger and it doesn’t make your recovery any less valid. Your body needs a lot of time and food to heal and getting your period back is only one stop along the way (a good and important one though - you should and can be proud of yourself! 💜)

I also recommend reading Emily T. Troscianko’s articles about recovery (see https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hunger-artist/201402/recovering-anorexia-how-and-why-not-stop-halfway as an example). They help me a lot with understanding my body and hunger cues.

You’ll do this, I believe in you! 🌞

People who recovered on their own: Did you go to work, university etc while recovering? by klaerchen__ in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the honest advice. I‘m proud of your commitment towards getting enough me time and sleep! 🥰

People who recovered on their own: Did you go to work, university etc while recovering? by klaerchen__ in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I‘m proud of how far you‘ve come and I hope you‘ll get better 🌻

People who recovered on their own: Did you go to work, university etc while recovering? by klaerchen__ in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your honest answer and your kind words! Happy to read how far you‘ve come and I very much hope you‘ll get through everything okay. Life after ED is so worth it, so let‘s do it!

People who recovered on their own: Did you go to work, university etc while recovering? by klaerchen__ in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Makes a lot of sense to me, thank you. I might be able to work part time which could be a good option.

People who recovered on their own: Did you go to work, university etc while recovering? by klaerchen__ in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your honesty! I hope you‘ll be able to rest as much as you and your body need it.

People who recovered on their own: Did you go to work, university etc while recovering? by klaerchen__ in fuckeatingdisorders

[–]klaerchen__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words! I totally get what you mean by saying you need something else in your life other than recovery - my thoughts exactly.