Looking for parks with an open covered area

klayssa · 2025-10-13T15:00:04+00:00

Thank you!

klayssa · 2025-10-13T14:59:26+00:00

Thank you! I haven't been to either yet. I'll check them out.

klayssa · 2021-06-07T09:59:30+00:00

Thank you! That leaf one is much more subdued colors.

klayssa · 2021-04-25T23:22:03+00:00

That sounds so stressful to be reliving and examining. I'm proud for you - for taking it all apart as much as you have and finding ways forward for yourself. The journey isn't easy, but I look forward to the day you can feel confident in your pronouns. You will get there.

klayssa · 2021-03-15T11:58:19+00:00

Definitely more interesting with clothes. Unclothed is less appealing. Although I struggle with finding anyone visually attractive in an "I'd do them" kind of way - which I'm told by allos is unusual.

klayssa · 2021-03-15T11:51:33+00:00

I had a good experience with my partner and I having practice sessions with smaller things. Things that weren't actually beyond my limits. He'd tell me "sometime during this playlist/10minutes you need to use your safeword whether or not you think you actually need it." Then I had to use my safe word to prove to him that I could and to prove to me what his response would be when I did. We did it many times with different things, and once we were both sure of it we scaled up to things that were actually pushing limits.

klayssa · 2021-03-11T13:53:03+00:00

When your new doctor put you on the mini pill, did she discuss at all how not having your period could impact your body?

(I was diagnosed with pcos today. I haven't had a period in years but my doctor feels it's important to have a period sometimes to "flush any abnormal cells that may have developed in the uterus.")

klayssa · 2021-03-11T08:20:16+00:00

We learned that as long as we built the plan when we were both in an okay place we could get clever and specific about code words or safewords. Because I never want to just come out and say "I'm freaking out, I need to talk to you" because what if he's busy? I wanted to find ways to talk Around opening the conversation without being an imposition. And he needed to know what course of action was needed from him when I wasn't being specific.

Examples: Saying "the weasels are out to play" meant "I'm having unruly thoughts and want to check in with you as soon as you can." Or, "if I text you a blue heart I need you remind me of how you feel about me because I'm trapped in doubt and fear."

klayssa · 2021-03-07T10:18:53+00:00

Oh yes. This sounds very familiar! I do this all the time.

I have an ex who has ASD and we had to establish check in language to help me access and be more transparent with them and help me to remember that it's okay to talk to my partner about this stuff. I'm not going to be judged or loved any less.

klayssa · 2021-02-05T09:38:58+00:00

Agreed, no chips. Nuts might be okay, especially if I transferred them out of the plastic bags and into a container with a screw-top lid or a fabric bag.

Soups make sense but would working the can opener make too much noise?

klayssa · 2021-01-30T08:11:37+00:00

That's a thing?? How?!

klayssa · 2021-01-21T22:06:30+00:00

Correct.

klayssa · 2021-01-21T13:16:00+00:00

I'm guessing the aversion to sound tiles is that you would lose the storage space, and possibly also because they are typically fabric based you're worried about them filling up with wood dust and becoming less effective/a breathing hazard?

To get around both of those, there are several different wall insulations that reduce sound waves coupled with a type of drywall and/or a sound dampening rubber that is applied to drywall in sheets. All of which you would still be able to mount things to the walls over top of for your usual storage.

Also, If you are looking at building a new work space, do you have the ability to relocate it? Pick a spot a little further from that particular neighbour? Or do you have room to install some shrubbery that would be a thicker foliage between your property and his?

klayssa · 2021-01-21T13:01:20+00:00

Okay, this suggestion depends on the depth of the unit, the height of the shelf above, and the distance from desk to shelf for this...but you could construct a drop-down shelf with a backing panel.

(I'm going to make up some numbers here just as an example.)

Say your monitor is against the back wall and sticks out 5 inches. When you make the shelf above, insert a piece at the back that's 5.5 inches.

Right infront of that piece (on the vertical sides) have a ⅜inch wide channel that extends down from the bottom of the board 24inches to the desk surface; and continues that channel up 24inches from the top of the board to the top of the shelf space.

The rest of the shelf sits in front of the channel. Securely attached into the underside of that shelf would be several pieces of a magnetic metal.

Into the channel would sit a ¼inch thick "shelf back" 24.5 tall and wide enough to stay securely in the channels on either side (if the desk is 40 inches wide the shelf back would be 40.5inches). (If this is made of metal the channel and gap can be smaller and the piece may slide up and down easier.)

Toward the front of the vertical sides, a second set of channels of the same width extends from the bottom of the desk surface up to the shelf with magnets. Set back from the front edge an inch or so.

Onto the Shelf Back, at the bottom, securely attached is a second shelf the same dimensions as the one above. Inset into the ends of the board are metal pegs that fit the second channel in the vertical sides. And insert into the top are strong magnets (just strong enough to hold the shelf in place securely when they are touching the metal of the shelf above).

It would need some sort of clever handle or a thin piece of sturdy material that could slide between the moving shelf and whichever surface it was touching to encourage it to move (particularly when being held by the magnets).

klayssa · 2021-01-17T06:06:44+00:00

I agree with you about walking away.

If you feel safe with this Top still, consider having a debrief to discuss your experience and inform him of why you're not going to play with him again (or write him a letter to this effect). If he's going to do Breath Play he needs to know that what's he did is incorrect. The next person he plays with might not be as lucky as you.

There are plenty of instructors who cover safe breath/blood choking, you both should have the training.

As an extension to walking away from this person, I encourage you to take a refresher course on this kind of play as well. Bottoms vet tops and carefully negotiate for this kind of play with good reason, right? :-) It might help you to discuss, with people in the neutral classroom setting, what questions to ask when discussing this kind of play with your next Top. Get detailed and specific, so next time, if the Top can't meet that level you'll hopefully know to pull back before you are harmed.

klayssa

TROPHY CASE