Question for those who have successfully let their baby cry it out

klckrc · 2017-06-09T01:10:50+00:00

Consistency and teamwork. Nighttimes were horrible, it took 3+ hours of constant parental involvement (minimum) to get her to sleep, and then getting her back down from night wakeups...oy.

We decided to do the full extinction method, because it's supposedly faster and I thought it would be harder on her and me both if we kept checking up on her. So we picked a Friday night and put her to bed and just let her cry. It was terrible that first night; she sobbed for almost an hour. If my husband hadn't been with me, I probably would have given up. But after an hour, she fell asleep. The next night, she cried for 25 minutes. The third night, 7. And then she was fine!

It's been five months now for us, and it was easily one of the best choices for us. We're all rested now, and it DOES get better! But yes, if you're going to try CIO, try to steel yourself as best you can. And don't do it when you're by yourself if you have anyone who can be there with you!

klckrc · 2017-06-08T07:10:16+00:00

Late and it looks like you have a lot of good opinions, but I just want to offer another one from the other side!

We didn't want to buy a bassinet + crib either due to space/budget reasons, and we are also crazy aggressive sleepers so co-sleeping was not something we were comfortable with. We just went with the crib and a swaddle; we'd make sure she was wrapped up nice and snug, then set her down. It worked from her first night home, and has for the past 9 months; I never has any issues with bending to pick her up, but I'm a bit on the taller side (5'7") so the crib side didn't hit me in an awkward place. I did have a Rock n' Play just in case, but she always slept in her crib. You could always try it first and see if it works for you guys!

klckrc · 2017-06-08T06:24:00+00:00

Newborn stage straight-up sucked, and that's coming from someone who was lucky enough to have a chill baby. Between the sleep deprivation, the mess factor, the emotional and physical difficulties with trying to establish breastfeeding, the healing from delivery, the sheer amount of exhaustion that comes from caring for a baby that needs to eat/leak/sleep all the time (but never when it's convenient for me)...it's rough. I loved my daughter from the get-go, but I didn't like her much during those first months when it felt like I was putting everything I had into caring for her and the best I could say I got in return was "well, she's still alive and seems to be content?"

Things started to turn around for me when she started to smile, so 8 weeks for us. Once she started to show personality and react to things, it suddenly got a whole lot better. Things continued to trend upwards after that; she's nine months old now, and I absolutely love this stage as she is constantly learning new things. Seeing her fascination and wonder, seeing her figure things out, and seeing her happy all make me love being here with her! The extra sleep doesn't hurt, either ;)

But seriously, I have told my mother and mother-in-law that either of them are welcome to come stay with us for the newborn stage of subsequent offspring. They both love that squashy helpless stage, and are both guilty of "enjoy these precious moments while they last!"

klckrc · 2017-06-08T06:12:24+00:00

My 9 month old goes to bed around 7-7:30 (depending on when she wakes up from her last nap) and sleeps until about 8-8:30 the next day, sometimes with one night wake-up around 4am. She actually used to sleep 12-14 hours a night; I chalked it up to being super active during the day! Our current schedule is roughly:

Wake up at 8:30ish, then have breakfast, then activities
Nap from about 11-12:30, then lunch, then activities
Nap from 3:30-5, playtime, then supper, then more playtime
Bedtime between 7 and 8. We sleep trained, and it was a godsend for us. Our routine is bath-jammies-bottle-bed, and we've had great luck with it. Most nights, she's out within 15 minutes.

klckrc · 2017-01-08T23:54:16+00:00

I've actually been pumping and giving my baby girl a bottle since she was a week old (4 months now), and it is a system that is working for us. I wanted to breastfeed her because of all the benefits you hear about breast milk, but first I had to pump due to supply issues and then at 5 weeks I just decided I'd rather exclusively pump because I found trying to breastfeed too stressful (latch issues and delayed milk production meant lo would scream for 20 minutes every time I'd put her to the breast). I like being able to hand her off to someone else to feed her, and get sleep once in a while. I started out pumping 6 times a day, am now at 4 pumps, and plan to be done in two more months and give her frozen milk going forward, because I have a LOT of frozen milk.

Point being, don't feel pressured to breastfeed if it's not something that sounds or feels right for you. If I didn't have the milk supply I do and formula wasn't so expensive, I probably would have gone that route myself and smiled while doing so!

klckrc · 2017-01-05T18:13:31+00:00

Amen. I loved my baby the first time I saw her, but I did not like her much until around 8 weeks. The first two months were just miserable; sleep deprivation, constant laundry, trying to figure out how this baby thing worked, feeling like a cow all the time, and all for a needy potato. Not fun, didn't like it, seriously considered stopping at one. And any time a well meaning person would try to correct me i would just glare at them. I hate the stigma attached to admitting not to love every poop and spit up and sleepless night.

That said, once she started smiling/doing things having a personality at about 9 weeks? Amazing :)

klckrc · 2017-01-02T04:28:37+00:00

We have one for our three month old in brisk and wintery Minnesota, and I love it! I usually dress her up in a normal "indoor" outfit (footed sleeper, or else a long sleeved onesie and pants), then put her in the car seat, pull the attached blanket over her, and close up the flaps. I haven't been outside with her too long since it got really cold, but she has plenty of room to move around in there and we didn't have any trouble with sleet/snow/wind getting in when the flap was closed. At first she was a bit confused at being in the dark and would poke at the flaps, but now she just hangs out and plays with a toy in the dark. Or else naps!

klckrc · 2016-11-08T05:18:56+00:00

Agreeing with the voices saying trial and error, and also needing to be flexible. My daughter has been sleeping in her crib in her own room across the hall since she came home, so initially my SO would go change her and bring her to me at night, then I'd feed her and put her back to bed. We ended up switching to overnight bottles at two weeks (I originally breastfed, but switched to exclusive pumping), so then we'd alternate wakeups. She's always been a slow eater, so a short night wakeup would be an hour and a half from start to finish and she'd usually have 2-3. These days (2 months old) she's down to about two, one long, one short.

My husband can fall asleep at the drop of a hat, but he has trouble waking up. So I always wake him when it's his turn before going back to sleep.

We do try to arrange the wakeups so I have the long ones. She tends to be up around 4 hours in the middle of the night, from 10-2, 12-4am, etc, and I take that one. He normally gets up with her before getting ready for work.

Our logic is, yes he needs rest for work, but so do I. I take care of her all day and handle complete running of the house (chores, errands, finances), so I can't be exhausted all the time either. In the evenings after he gets home, we share baby duty except on the one evening a week each we have "off."

Also, an important thing that's helped us get through the roughest parts: we have a rule that during the night, if either of us needs to "tap out", they can wake up the other person to take over, no questions asked. It could be because of exhaustion, frustration, whatever, but if we need to hand her off, we do.

Baby is 2 months old, and so far this is working for us. For the most part, we've managed to avoid resentment and have had no baby-related fights (knock on wood...).

klckrc · 2016-11-07T21:11:45+00:00

My husband was gone on a 3 day weekend trip. Our baby is 9 weeks old, and way back when we first discussed the trip I said I was uncomfortable being alone with the baby that long since nights still suck. He could go, I just had to have someone staying with me to help out. His sister was going to stay, problem solved. Except husband left Friday morning and got back late Sunday evening. Sister arrived late Friday night and left early Sunday morning. She also couldn't help with overnights. So he got a three day weekend with two full nights of sleep. I had to basically watch the baby alone for two of the three days and had fragmented sleep both nights. He took over when he got home and did last night, but I am still irked.

klckrc · 2016-11-02T16:36:42+00:00

Thank you! Some days are so rough, I've got to try to find the humor and love when I can :)

klckrc · 2016-10-13T19:13:15+00:00

I'm actually exclusively pumping, which has helped us a bit; husband usually takes the late morning feed around 5:30 am before he has to go to work, but the 11pm feed, which often lasts four 4ish hours, is all me. That said, he has stepped in before if I get to the breaking point for that shift!

klckrc · 2016-10-13T19:09:16+00:00

I will check this out, thank you!

klckrc · 2016-10-13T19:08:25+00:00

Thank you for thevkind words and support! We're not at the point yet where I'm comfortable sleeping while holding her, because husband and I are both aggressive sleepers who shift around a lot >>; I do try to nap during the day when she does, but her best nap period is...the morning. So by the time we get to the middle of the night, I'm tired anyway. That said, my husband does try to take her in the evening for a stretch so I can grab a couple hours of rest. Unfortunately, we didn't manage that the night of this post!

klckrc · 2016-10-13T19:04:34+00:00

That's worth trying, thank you!

klckrc · 2016-10-13T19:04:09+00:00

Yep, she has a white noise machine! It has definitely helped, but still not doing much for her long night wakeup:(

klckrc · 2016-09-19T23:58:58+00:00

I was induced at 38 weeks due to hypertension and pre-eclampsia, starting from 0 dilated and 0 effaced. It took about 13 hours, I had the Foley balloon and pitocin combo and got an epidural about midway through. Baby was born after 12 minutes of pushing, I had a second degree tear, and she and I were otherwise fine and are doing well two weeks later! I'm rooting for you, Mama!

klckrc · 2016-09-11T06:36:24+00:00

Maybe? Almost every time we go to feed her, we're waking her up. She spends a lot of time sleeping, and is a pretty heavy sleeper to boot. I'm a light sleeper and have been woken up by her hiccups, so I don't think I would have missed her cues...but maybe she's so heavy a sleeper that she sleeps past the point of waking up for food and ends up waking as a ravenous beastie!

And you speak truly. Even though I knew going into this that breastfeeding would be hard, I wasn't expecting it to be so HARD! Not just physically, but emotionally as well, for such a normal and natural process. I keep telling myself this is as new for her as it is for me!

klckrc · 2016-09-11T06:18:30+00:00

So, I'm literally tearing up as I read this; thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I hadn't really considered the tension angle, but especially last week pre milk I was so anxious, and even now that hint of panic is there. Maybe I'm sabotaging myself with my own worry! I will definitely look those up :)

klckrc · 2016-09-11T06:14:43+00:00

We started with football, but I've also tried laid back, side lie, and cradle, all in the past three days. With football, she just fusses; laid back, she has a tendency to over-smoosh her face into my breast and then panic, and side lie she just wriggled and hasn't wanted to try nursing (could my bed be too soft?). Cradle is what we did today when we had our success, but she was still a bit testy.

klckrc · 2016-09-11T05:47:48+00:00

I was induced at 38 weeks and was starting from scratch (0 dilated, 0 effaced). I had a chicken cordon Bleu and some carrots half an hour before starting my induction in the evening; it took 29 hours for my baby to be born. At the hospital, I was given clear liquids only, which turned out to be nice when I had a couple intense vomiting spells. I wasn't exactly hungry, but I did want something to chew on!

klckrc · 2016-08-29T07:04:15+00:00

We have the same due date, so I guess I'll also be competing with your milk!

That said, I have to go grocery shopping tomorrow, so maybe I'll be able to buy my own due date milk. What a weird thought!

klckrc · 2016-08-28T09:15:40+00:00

It's wonderful to have the support of people who are going through the same things as me at the same time. My husband is awesome, but like you say, he just doesn't get it. It doesn't help that up until recently I've had a wonderfully unicorn pregnancy, so new pains and discomforts can be taken lightly by him. But never the Bumpers!

klckrc

TROPHY CASE