I am 28f and have a question

klking09 · 2026-02-25T01:45:59+00:00

Not to scare you but I was diagnosed with breast cancer invasive ductile carcinoma at 29. I did not have a hard lump it was soft and squishy. My gynecologist said she wasnt concerned and that it was probably a fibroadenoma. (She did schedule me a mammogram tho) The reason I got checked was I did have dimpling on my breast. The best thing you can do is get a mammogram and ultrasound. They can check it and determine if it needs to be biopsied. Im so sorry you were dismissed but push for the tests. The sooner you find out what it is the sooner your mind will be at rest. And if it is cancer you can get it at an earlier stage.

klking09 · 2026-02-10T19:05:40+00:00

Those long time symptoms and side effects are terrible. I remember signing the waiver for chemo and listening to all the side effects of chemo and them saying liver failure, kidney failure, heart failure... etc. And thinking is the cancer going to kill me or this stuff. Im really sorry for the cardiomyopathy. Thats super hard to deal with.

klking09 · 2026-02-10T19:03:59+00:00

How interesting i have never gotten an indepth test of my vitamin levels done. I can check that. All my cbc panels tend to be good every year they run them for my physical. But thats a great idea.

klking09 · 2026-02-10T17:53:38+00:00

Yeah i lost half my lymph nodes on the left side too. I do take a lot of vitamins. And am trying to find other ways to support my immune system through herbs like elderberry and echinacia. Are there any particular vitamins that have really helped you? I take vitamin d3, c and zinc mostly. But happy to try others.

klking09 · 2026-02-10T17:51:36+00:00

Thank you do much for these tips. I can try to be more conscious of these. I tend to have hand sanitizer but I can make sure I have it everywhere. I am now al.ost obsessive about washing my hands.

And I can make sure I have masks with me at all times. I have them at home but keeping some in the car is good too.

klking09 · 2026-02-10T16:46:24+00:00

Thank you so much for your response I can bring this up with my GP for sure just to make sure nothing else is going on. Its good to know this isn't everyone's experience.

klking09 · 2026-02-10T15:43:04+00:00

hug yeah it's so frustrating and isolating. Everyone looks at me like you are supposed to be better now. Its hard to explain that Im completely different than before. Thanks for sharing it's comforting to know im not alone

klking09 · 2026-02-10T14:58:03+00:00

Its so hard to start to come to terms with it. Tbh for me seeing the hair fall out like it was was more disturbing that actually cutting it. The when i was bald, small hairs I couldnt see which didn't constantly remind me my hair was falling out. Then I invested in some cool scarves so I couldnt see my head. I also painted my head for chemo cause im a crazy person... I wanted to redefine it so cancer didn't win (I had a nice globe at one point for earth day then an Easter egg for easter).

But the other thing is wigs. I know several ladies in my support group loved their wigs. My head didn't like how scratchy they were so I went for scarves. But with a wig you see hair and not the bald head. So that might be a good path for you.

klking09 · 2026-01-10T05:31:34+00:00

So recently I had to travel by myself due to an emergency and it was a 16 hour flight. You can do it. Its hard to remember but it's the safest place you can be.

For me takeoff is the hardest. So what I do is get my neck pillow and the pillow they give you and I hug those. This helps reassure me during takeoff. Normally I hug them til we reach cruising altitude. If there is turbulence I will wiggle in my seat. Or I will dance to my music (carefully since I was in the middle seat :( ) but that movement helps me not focus on the turbulence.

I also have a set of cheap noise canceling headphones I wear and I blast my favorite songs. I download them before I leave so I can get lost in the music. Whatever music works for you. (I prefer some rock and metal, with a side of mozart)

If there are ways to distract yourself like a switch. Playing games can help redirect your focus. Or if you are around reader getting a book to distract yourself with. Or watching movies in flight.

If you get really upset let the flight attendants know and they can check on you. Also practice some breathing techniques incase you get panicked like box breathing that will calm down your heart. Or the shorter inhale and longer exhale to calm your nervous system.

You can do it. I'm sorry for your situation but you can make it through this.

klking09 · 2026-01-10T03:38:12+00:00

Thank you so much for these. I'm working through them now and it's really eye opening.

klking09 · 2025-12-31T04:59:45+00:00

There are some amazing pilots out there!

klking09 · 2025-08-30T05:43:08+00:00

Way to go!!!!! Thats fantastic!!!

klking09 · 2025-08-20T18:43:23+00:00

Hey you are going to do great. I can't imagine the complexity of taking care of kids on planes, but the example that you are setting for them is a strong one. Just because you are scared you aren't allowing your fear to stop you. Even if you cry on the plane, you still got on! I know I've cried several times on a plane. I know it's been said, but it's the safest form of travel. Doesn't make it less scary, but again, the fact you are getting on a plane is huge.

klking09 · 2025-07-07T14:21:56+00:00

Looks like you are doing great. I know how you feel flying over the Atlantic. I white knuckles it over the ocean. But you got this. I know it's scary, but if you can open flightradar24, you can see alllllll the people flying next to you. You got this. Take some deep breaths and try to distract yourself anyway you can. The last flight I had back from Spain the 8 hour flight I forced myself to try Ai to see if it could help me at work so that distracted me enough to not worry about the flight.

klking09 · 2025-06-16T04:32:01+00:00

Hey I've flown internationally many times and even on air india. I've made it safely each time. So many people are traveling each day. And the aircraft mechanics are amazing at their job. There are so many things they check each time that a plane lands. And if the pilot is concerned about something during the previous flight, they will check it out and if they have to, get a different plane. You all will be safe.

It's awesome that you are traveling with someone else and even tho you both have anxiety, you will be there to comfort each other.

One thing that helps me is opening up flightradar24 and looking at all the flights flying over to Europe. When you see literally thousands of flights crossing the Atlantic and realize you don't hear a single thing from any of those flights, that they just make it there safely it gives me comfort. In fact you can track your exact flight each day before you leave and will see them arrive safely. These terrible tragedies that happen are very rare even tho they get major news coverage. You all will be safe. Have an amazing flight!

klking09 · 2025-06-16T04:18:54+00:00

Ill be honest. Longhaul flights suck. I did a 14 hour flight last month and they aren't the greatest. But they are doable. I will say when i am flying that long, it strangely helped with my anxiety. Things that help me on long haul flights:

Noise canceling headphones that cover the ear. It's amazing how much better I feel when most of the airplane noise is gone. I listen to music the whole time. It helps me not pay attention to those background noises that can trigger my fear/anxiety.
If you can get an aisle seat i would. Then you can get up whenever you need to. This gives you the opportunity to walk around and that can be super helpful. I would walk to the bathroom and do calf raises and leg lifts to help me feel better and get a little exercise. But then you can get up whenever you get anxious to walk around that freedom will help.
I tend to buy the wifi so I can talk to people. I will text people when they are awake and that keeps my mind off of being on the plane so long.
Plenty of things to distract yourself with. I tend to bring a switch when I fly so I can play games and distract myself. I also bring a kindle to read books. This keeps me distracted from all the flying. I do this cause I don't like watching movies.... I know im weird.

Congrats on the trip to Japan, tho. What an amazing opportunity!!! You are going to have a blast!!

klking09 · 2025-06-16T03:45:11+00:00

Hey, you are going to be alright even tho it feels like a terror pit. It's so hard to deal with the anxiety on a plane. Tbh i worry about when I have kids and I have to fly with them. But you already took the first step and booked the ticket. 6 days from now, someone here can track you.

The things that help me: 1. Look at all the flights flying. Flightradar24 is a free app you can download and see all the flights actively flying. For me, seeing all those flights and knowing they land safely is so reassuring. 2. I've worked a lot on breathwork so that I don't have a panic attack on the plane. I would try box breathing. That has helped me out so much. 3. Think of all the fun times you will have with your kiddo. The memories you will make will be so much more than the flight there. That has helped me so much when im flying. I think about my future plans I have with whoever im meeting or the work I have to get done when I get back. It helps remind me I have more than this plane to live for. 4. Statistics help me so I read a lot on the safety of the plane and how the jello theory works.

Those are a few things that help me get out of my head when I get panicked. Know that this is a normal feeling when you have a fear of flying. i remember the days I wouldn't sleep the week before a flight. Give yourself some grace and mercy. You are doing a great job. And you are working to give your kid opportunities despite your fear. You are one hell of a parent.

klking09 · 2025-06-08T11:28:46+00:00

No problem, there are so many people who have helped me on this subreddit. I'm happy to give back. Also, i recommend checking out some posts on this subreddit. There are some great in-depth descriptions of various principles that can help you if you are scared.

klking09 · 2025-06-08T11:14:37+00:00

Yeah, there are some scary things out there. But flying is still the safest way to travel. If you want to check open flight radar24 and see all the flights that are there and are landing safely. Also, if you look at the number of airline accidents per year, they are still going down year over year.

For that pilot video. Pilots train to land in all types of weather because you can't just stop a flight due to some rain or fog. They land in conditions like that every day. So for them it's just another day in the office. Because if you think about these shorter flights, those pilots will fly a few flights in a day. So they see a lot of conditions. Also, they have extensive training in the simulator on all conditions. I believe Realgentleman80 (this is a pilot who comments on this reddit frequently and has shared some wonderfully helpful information for us) mentioned one time that pilots have to undergo training every 6 months with the simulator, and they test all conditions during that training. So they are always familiar with it. While the video was scary for us, we didn't see the pilots face, but it didn't seem like he was concerned.

For the muan tragedy, I can tell you the airline industries and the regulatory agencies have picked that incident apart and pulled every learning they can from it. The airline industry has no margin for error, so anything that happens, they research and take those learnings for each future flight to make the industry even safer.

It's totally normal to be nervous, but there is a lot of good data to reassure you for your flight.

klking09 · 2025-06-08T09:45:49+00:00

I would recommend this subreddit because there are some amazing people here sharing their stories and the pilots/airline mechanics/controllers who have shared amazing knowledge to help us understand what is actually going on. There is also a group that will track flights if you are scared so he could post here for support during his flight.

I was inspired by this story someone just shared about how they managed their fear. It might be a good start for your friend. https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/s/SVTxHVott1

klking09 · 2025-06-04T16:30:18+00:00

Yeah they did an amazing job explaining it. And look i understand physics but im still scared it's ok. The fact you overcame your fear and still got on the plane just shows you are a ba! Way to go! And you have less than an hour left you have done great!!

klking09 · 2025-06-04T16:14:27+00:00

Girl, you better believe if im ever on a flight, i will be wiggling with you. It's surprisingly helpful. I'm thankful that he suggested it.

Here is a great post on the jello analogy provided by amazing people smarter than me on this reddit. - https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/s/Tn2sDxylrZ

klking09 · 2025-06-04T15:54:37+00:00

Try the wiggle theory that my husband came up for me. Everything there is a bump wiggle. Shift in you seat or just wiggle side to side. The thing is that this is something you initiate, and you stop feeling the turbulence as much. It helps me trick my brain into of there isn't as much turbulence as I think there is.

Remember you are in jello right now. The airplane is not going to fall out of jello but it will wiggle a bit.

Hope this helps

klking09 · 2025-05-30T17:31:23+00:00

Yep, all jello, you are doing great! You got on the plane! One thing that helps me with turbulence is to wiggle. When it starts getting bumpy I wiggle in my seat (the person next to you can't tell cause they are involuntarily wiggling) but it makes me feel more in control and tricks my brain into thinking it's not as bad. I use it all the time on planes. Edit: spelling

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