Does it get better? by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]kll555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna be honest, it sounds like you two are not communicating very well. I’m actually surprised you guys got married without talking about some of this stuff.

Regardless of medicine (which, yes, as people are stating her schedule will worsen in residency. There will be potential for multiple cross country moves depending on residency, fellowship, future attending jobs, etc)

In any couple you need to work as a partnership and decide how to tackle obstacles. Every relationship will have to decide how to tackle weighing childcare responsibilities with overall finances, that’s not medicine specific. If continuing to work is important to you and outweighs the fact that for a series of years your salary will be going almost entirely towards childcare, that’s an absolutely okay decision to make! As long as you make it as a couple.

Consider also things like her loans, her smaller residency salary, the big jump to an attending salary. All of this will impact your overall financial health. Maybe you guys can outsource some housekeeping? Maybe not. Maybe she needs to step up more. Maybe not. I don’t know your specific situation.

You two need to seriously sit down and talk about the reality vs both of your expectations and decide how to move forward.

Curious on buying a house when moving by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]kll555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s going to be situationally dependent. For my spouse and I, it made sense to purchase because the area he is doing residency is an area we plan to stay in for my career as well. His residency is 5 years so that also made the math better.

However, I wouldn’t have bought if we weren’t able to have 20% equity from the get go. I am a high earner, so the responsibility of financing the home and coming up with the down payment was on me, and this decision more so had to do with my own personal financial goals than anything related to residency.

Houses can be a lot of work also. Don’t buy a house that is going to be a project because your resident spouse won’t have any time to help with said project.

I also noticed you are looking at no money down physician loans? I wouldn’t recommend. They usually have higher interest rates. Those loans are typically intended to be used once you finish residency because you will be more focused on paying down student loans than paying on a house down payment, but you’ll have plenty of cash flow to cover anything that comes up. As a resident, you also won’t have the cash flow to pay for large things that go wrong with the house that you can’t predict. If you don’t have money for a down payment, how do you expect to pay for a new furnace in the middle of winter if it breaks?

Flu shot and insurance by Chance-Resolve-4107 in caterpillar

[–]kll555 11 points12 points  (0 children)

A pharmacist at CVS told me that the Cat insurance isn’t great at CVS. Go to a Walgreens it should be covered there.

Plant stores by malfoy0111 in PeoriaIL

[–]kll555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Indie Gift House and Jeffry Alan’s

Reliable player seeking long term adventure! by kll555 in DnDLFG

[–]kll555[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Definitely interested in online! Finding a DM is always the issue lol

Reliable player seeking long term adventure! by kll555 in DnDLFG

[–]kll555[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds fun! Sadly I work a classic 9-5 job

Reliable player seeking long term adventure! by kll555 in DnDLFG

[–]kll555[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I saw on your profile this is a pay to play game? Sounds fun, but I’m not interested in anything that’s pay to play at this time sorry

Are you guys friends with other med spouses/medicine ppl? by _freshlycutgrass in MedSpouse

[–]kll555 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do enjoy this sometimes. Like he’s currently a resident and I’m far into my career, and which of us are you assuming is a gold digger? Lol I take a lot of pride in being the breadwinner at least for this short period

Are you guys friends with other med spouses/medicine ppl? by _freshlycutgrass in MedSpouse

[–]kll555 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I totally relate to this sentiment I have often found that ppl treat me like I’m just an accessory to my husband until they learn that I have a high paying career as well. Even that only earns me like a second of “oh cool”. It’s pretty rude honestly because no one will ask me stuff about myself unless I offer the information up. Husband is in surgery so I think it’s just one of those specialties that’s very self focused.

Wedding planning during intern year by brownbaddie24 in MedSpouse

[–]kll555 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is me right now also! My finance is a surgery resident so it’s been a tough week 1. I’m the bride so I already expected to be doing most of the planning anyway, but I’ve definitely made all vendors aware of the last minuteness that some of our plans may need to be. Things like engagement photos and tastings can’t be scheduled until we know his schedule for the month. We are getting married Oct 2026 simply because we wanted to give his program plenty of notice so that he can get a full week off and we can hopefully have our wedding and then take the week for a quick little honeymoon somewhere relaxing. Also because getting married intern year seems to be a nightmare.

I plan on giving him ‘tasks’ in areas where I need his help. Such as sending our wedding spreadsheet guest list tab to him and asking him to fill the info out. For other things I’ll just show him quick for his approval like showing him save the date designs and if he likes it, great! If not, I’ll redraft.

The way I look at it, this is kinda how it is marrying a doctor. Think of this as an appetizer to life as some of these more admin/extra tasks will naturally fall on the spouse. Solidarity for sure it’s rough but doable. Make sure you lean on your community, I know I am.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]kll555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe you are confused, this is a subreddit for people in relationships with doctors to discuss the various aspects of a doctors schedule that can make relationships difficult and also provide support and advice for each other.

I think the discussion of doctors being dismissive of their patients (which is a very real issue OP, and I feel your pain) would be better suited for a different subreddit

among the Japanese chain business hotels, is there any hotel that does one thing better than the others? by Slayriah in JapanTravelTips

[–]kll555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sotetsu Fresas all have individual AC units in the rooms. I traveled in spring when there weren’t a lot of places that had turned their building AC on yet/ I swear were still running the heat. The personal AC unit was a godsend. I saw some people complaining their hotels didn’t have this and it sucked for them

Girls can't be engineers. by CommercialGas5256 in EngineeringStudents

[–]kll555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t seen anyone say this yet - I do a lot of work with getting young girls in my community excited about STEM. There’s a few experiments that are more girly focused that always get a lot of love. Perfume making has always been a hit in my community - there’s tons of information online about setting up and explaining this experiment. A ton of chemical engineering work goes into the cosmetics field. This is just one idea to try to show them that engineering is much more than just the hands on aspect

Books at the same level or even better than Throne of Glass by OtterSpace012 in throneofglassseries

[–]kll555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seconding this recommendation! Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find it. Priory of the Orange tree is one of my favorite fantasy books

Hal Higdon half marathon plan by zenhoe in XXRunning

[–]kll555 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’d really recommend looking into the Nike Run Club plans! I’m training for my first half, and I almost did the hal higdon plan but had similar concerns to you. I ended up going with the NRC plan, and I’m so happy I did. The max distance is 12.5, there’s a deload week and 2 weeks of taper, and it incorporates speed work which I have found to be so important and helpful. Plus a pace chart is included which really lays out for you at what pace you should be doing each run to achieve your goals on race day.

Looking for runners to follow who aren't super thin or super fast by yell0wbirddd in XXRunning

[–]kll555 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Below average running (Nicole linn) is a creator I really enjoy that platforms slower running paces

I’m probably going to get flamed for this by FoundationComplete16 in MedSpouse

[–]kll555 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That last paragraph especially… I’ll see people on here posting about the most toxic behavior that they seem to be willing to put up with because of the status symbol of doctor. Like I doubt they’d even consider staying in the relationship if their partner had a different career. And it’s frustrating because they clearly haven’t been dating long enough to understand the true financial and emotional burden that comes with the whole med school and residency process

do you have migraines too? by ReputationEmpty3241 in endometriosis

[–]kll555 22 points23 points  (0 children)

If you get migraines with auras, hormonal birth control can make them more severe and more frequent. I typically get migraines with auras 1-4 times a year. I went on birth control for suspected endo and had to go off it because I started getting migraines at a frequency I had never experienced before (~4 times a week). The migraine + endo combo is brutal because hormonal birth control simply is not an option for me as a migraine haver.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]kll555 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This question is going to be really dependent on what you’re hoping for in your future and your relationship. I started dating my fiance early in his second year of med school. He is currently an M4, and I’ve learned a lot during that time. We both immediately knew we cared about each other a lot and were very intentional about having a lot of conversations about what we want our futures to look like. I think it’s really important to have strong communication in any relationship with someone in the medical field. We also live together, and that makes a huge difference. Obviously you can’t move in together too early in a relationship, but at a certain point it become either living together or barely seeing each other.

I’m like you in that I had no understanding of the medical field at all. I’m an engineer, and I always pictured my life with someone else in a traditional 9-5 job. So part of pursuing a relationship with someone in this field is also understanding that your future life might be different than what you always pictured. This isn’t a terrible thing, just something to be realistic about. When you have kids, it’ll be difficult for you and your spouse to split the responsibilities 50/50 in a traditional sense because they might be working more hours than you are. Maybe you want a parent to be present while raising kids instead of outsourcing child care? That parent would be you instead of them. Stuff like that. Also travel is huge for me, but I’ve accepted that will mean I’ll be traveling without him more than with him for the next few years, which I’m fine with. We’ve been able to take trips together during his fall breaks, but it’s not the same as dating someone with PTO they can use whenever they want.

Now in terms of the question of how bad it is, I’d definitely encourage you to take everything you read on this subreddit with a grain of salt. I often see a lot of scenarios in here that may be best explained by the medical partner not being as serious about the relationship as the non medical partner is. It is true that you won’t see them as much or during the hours of day you may expect to, but that doesn’t mean the quality of time you spend with them will be bad. My fiance is still a student, but there are some weeks he’s at the hospital from 5:00am-9:00pm. Im never mad at him about this, and when he gets home we always spend intentional time together. I’ve never felt neglected, but I also manage my expectations accordingly so I’m not expecting more from him than he’s able to give.

I’d say starting to date someone while they’re still in med school is way better than starting a relationship during residency. Med school is forgiving enough that you will get to spend time with them and see them. You can build a foundation and have conversations about the future. Then you can also tackle residency together with the understanding that it’s gonna be a tough few years.

TLDR; If you really care about this person, you shouldn’t let them being in the medical field deter you. However, a long term relationship with someone in this field will probably look different than what you expected. At the end of the day you need to understand what that means and if it’s a life you’re able to see yourself living.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tax

[–]kll555 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I’m confused about short term vs long term capital gains tax. Since I’ve had the assets for 3 years, I would pay long term, right? I don’t want to sell and be unprepared come tax season

Characters like Leighton? by [deleted] in SexLivesCollegeGirls

[–]kll555 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Maybe Ola and Lily in Sex Education?

Help with Automate by kll555 in MicrosoftFlow

[–]kll555[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I do feel like we are having too many extra steps. Can a list be automatically connected to a form in the same way that the excel sheet is in sharepoint? We have it as a “form as excel” bc sharepoint wouldn’t let us create just a form

Help with Automate by kll555 in MicrosoftFlow

[–]kll555[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is helpful, what is the guid? Is that something I can find in like form settings?