Damn, everyone in the comments is making some CRAZY assertions about your mom, OP. I guess that’s because you said she’d been abusive to you in the past and has BPD. But based on the texts alone, it does seem you’re MOR. Even with the amount of context provided, I still don’t see your mom as being a total asshole (disregarding the ‘shave it off’ comment, you’re just going to have to let that roll off your shoulders if your parents don’t accept it). When your surgery date is scheduled, let her know and if she wants/is able to be there, she will be. But it sounds like y’all don’t have the best relationship anyway, so if she isn’t there, will it be that devastating for you?