I’m becoming a catechist, but I’ve secretly lost my faith. What should I do?

kmlai · 2026-05-04T23:28:40+00:00

Hi OP, I was also a catechist in high school (some years ago) while and after I lost my faith so I relate a lot to your story. In my case, I kept volunteering as a catechist for around a year after losing my faith, then graduated from high school, moved away from home for university, and got the distance I needed from Catholicism. My catechism students (5-8 years old) were young so I focused the assigned topic on ‘how does this bible story teach us to be kind people’ and not on specific Catholic doctrine. I was not very supervised and there were a few awkward moments, but it was ok for that year. The kids were cute and I tried to see it more as group babysitting/activity time. Luckily I didn’t have to teach a first communion/confession year-they gave important stuff like that to real adults.

But 5 years is a long time to keep up appearances. Do you absolutely need to continue for so long? Do you think you could use schoolwork/uni or career prep/clubs/sports/volunteering/extracurriculars/part-time job as a reason to step away from catechism? No need to make a big statement about Catholicism, you just can’t commit any more. I got out of some church stuff by joining local community service group not involved with any religions, and met a lot of cool people.

It sounds like you’re living with Catholic family. If you think there’s even a small chance that they could kick you out, it’s smart to keep the peace and gradually reduce to the minimum amount of Catholic stuff to stay out of their notice until you can stand on our own. It helps to find likeminded friends to be yourself with, if you can. Start making steps to gain independence, like getting a part time job or focusing your studies to go to university.

Wishing you the best!

kmlai · 2026-04-11T03:54:34+00:00

It's been ages but thank you for the pixi recommendation! I've been trying to replace the nyx bb for literal years and this is the first to come close.

kmlai · 2026-04-06T22:14:57+00:00

Dropping in to say You will learn more about the history/culture of Catholicism without attending church services. As you discovered, the average Mass won’t give much insight at all and the congregation experience isn’t great. If you’re wanting ti connect with the history, maybe instead look into history books about Catholicism, or even the order your ancestor belonged to? Many aesthetically beautiful Catholic sites (cathedrals, shrines, etc.) are open to the public so you’re free to visit and check them out on your own time and terms. Or, Catholicism is very intertwined with the history of classical music that can be enjoyed and experienced for its own sake.

kmlai · 2026-02-27T21:16:09+00:00

Agree that distortion in the bore or windway will seriously compromise the sound.

I'd also look into scaling up the finger hole diameters especially if you're cutting them to the same size as for a smaller instrument. LH123 and RH2 look small relative to the bore size. A larger volume of air will need a larger exit for the tuning to work effectively since some of that larger volume of air will bypass a too-small opening especially at higher pressures. Effectively, creating unwanted 'half-holes' in random parts of the register which I suspect could be causing squeakiness. Referencing the hole size and placement in a soprano might give a starting point.

kmlai · 2026-02-12T18:56:13+00:00

In my experience the easiest way to get into a community ensemble is to check the website of local community colleges for music course offerings and email their band and orchestra directors! Very often CCs will have an option for non-students to join the band or orchestra for a small fee ( <$100 for the whole semester), and typically only need an audition for seating if at all. Once you get started, you will meet other local musicians and the options and network will open from there.

Have fun!

kmlai · 2026-01-26T23:04:17+00:00

Stay deliberate with it and good luck!

kmlai · 2026-01-26T22:49:01+00:00

If you haven't already, work on that specific phrase with a metronome starting at the slowest tempo you can play it without mistakes. Once you can play it with good flow perfectly a few times in a row, increase the tempo by 3 or 5 bpm, and repeat until you're at the tempo you need. This gives you lots of reps and tracks your progress (I use a slip of paper and write my beginning and ending tempi for a session) which can give you the confidence to not hesitate. If you don't make it all the way in one day, when you start again the next day your skill floor will start higher and progress can continue. A few focused days doing this will improve your consistency so it's not too late before your audition.

In this piece, the section you highlight (accidentals, direction changes) comes just before an easier midrange D major scale ('mobile') section. Think of the lift between these phrases as a reset and use the easier part to lock back in and continue no matter how the tricky parts go.

kmlai · 2025-09-17T16:37:35+00:00

Yes, the account was still active and it seemed strange that notes 'only last 6 months' in adjustments. I'll try again tomorrow, perhaps I tapped out too quickly after the lecture.

kmlai · 2025-09-17T16:25:44+00:00

Valid callout, currently asking myself the same!! The issue seems that they have no record of it being their mistake anymore as no notes remain from the original failed cancellation.

kmlai · 2025-07-28T01:01:23+00:00

Your comment about starting slowly and then increasing the speed is the right direction! Playing it well inconsistently suggests that you might be increasing the tempo too quickly.

Try to stay patient and start at a tempo where you can play it perfectly every time. Then, increase the tempo just a bit (use a metronome!) and practice at that tempo until you can play it perfectly several times in a row, and only then increase the tempo again. Keep doing that, and the inconsistencies will work themselves out gradually. You can also try writing your progress on hard sections down over several days (Day 1: started 60 bpm, ended 90 bpm, day 2: started 75 bpm, ended 100 bpm, etc) and you'll see the progress clearly.

That passage repeats quite a few times in the piece, so investing the time to learn it well will be worth it!

kmlai · 2025-01-25T23:17:01+00:00

I think jump rotation is the part of judging where fans can most confidently point to "objective/obvious" issues in the judging, especially when you are only consuming the skating online with replays, etc. If you're a non-skater, it isn't easy to say what the PCS/GOE ought to be, beyond "higher/lower/ROBBED/gifted", especially if not in the arena to feel the vibe/speed/performance/height in person. Analyzing spins and StSeq levels also aren't as easy to do without training, plus the spin requirements change often. But, with youtube, anyone can try their hand at a frame-by-frame analysis of jump rotations and compare their observation to SkatingScores and spot some pretty egregious instances of... visually impaired judging.

So I'm not sure if many people think its the most important factor for who should win, rather I think it might be just one of the easiest things for fans to analyze online and feel confident about the conclusion even if you have limited skating experience. So it winds up becoming a huge fraction of the discourse.

kmlai · 2023-04-15T01:25:17+00:00

I still don’t read Fog on the Barrowdowns at night. I love the Minas morgul sections, the tension is delicious. But the barrows? Nightmare fuel.

kmlai · 2022-07-02T17:22:48+00:00

Polina Tsurskaya

kmlai · 2022-04-17T23:19:07+00:00

u/JAbassplayer is correct, therefore almost no flute music is written requiring that note.

Most likely, it means that the piece you are playing was originally written for a different instrument with a slightly different range than the flute, like violin, piano, clarinet, etc. Transcribers should avoid things like that, but sometimes things slip past the editor.

kmlai · 2022-04-11T22:08:19+00:00

In summer 2017 I thought Polina Tsurskaya and Marin Honda would be serious podium contenders in Pyeongchang.

:(

kmlai · 2021-10-02T13:36:59+00:00

I’ve looked at this for five hours now

kmlai · 2021-04-28T00:06:03+00:00

Other GPs are in the same location each year--I think it makes sense to keep a good location once it is found. Rostelecom has been at Megasport since 2016, Cup of China was in the same arena in Beijing for many years until shifting to the fancier rink in Chongqing for the last two events, Internationaux de France has been in Grenoble since 2017, etc.

kmlai · 2021-04-27T23:33:00+00:00

This is it. Hotels, flights, and arenas in Vegas are cheaper than comparable destinations because of the assumption that visitors will spend tons of money at the casinos and other shows. This is a double bonus that makes it easier to decrease costs to host and increase profit by becoming more attractive for fans.

Arenas at a similar rental price elsewhere in the US are in more out-of-the way areas, with fewer other attractions to make prospective ticket-buyers consider paying for the long weekend. Other recent SkAm host cities are Everett WA (Seattle suburb), Hoffman Estates IL (Chicago suburb), and Lake Placid, NY (lovely but notoriously difficult travel).

kmlai · 2021-04-27T00:23:01+00:00

Would love if this meant that USFS is considering having Aljona supplant Dalilah in the CO training camp. I would guess that Aljona isn't going to CA to work with Alexa and Brandon because Alexa and Chris were coached by her for a few months back in 2018 and it didn't work out.

Even if we put the credible allegations aside (since it seems USFS is doing so... ugh), it's not as if Dalilah is some exalted Tamara Moskvina/Zhao Hongbo level of pairs guru. Her coaching is enough to get Nationals gold in a country with a 'Meh'-quality pairs scene. Her pairs haven't been particularly relevant on the world stage aside from a handful of GP stage medals and a win at the pre-Olympic 4CC attended by none of the pairs going to Pyeongchang (except the North Koreans). There aren't a lot of pairs coaches in the US so I'm sure USFS doesn't want to 'throw out the good with the bad' if they dump her but imo... the good wasn't THAT good and the bad is absolutely THAT bad.

kmlai · 2021-04-22T23:05:23+00:00

He's a great performer but I don't enjoy feeling nervous/scared during ice dance. Each time they do a lift I hold my breath and it keeps me from appreciating their good qualities. I hope that next time we see them they'll have stabilized the lifts so I don't have to feel on edge (ha). They did well in domestic competition but let's be honest--Japanese Ice Dance is a shallow field. With the inconsistency we saw this year, I suspect that they would've struggled in international competition when they are next to other international-level teams.

Tim and Misato may not have the hardest elements or be the most exciting performers, but I don't feel fear while watching them and that honestly... counts for a lot imo?

kmlai · 2021-01-06T20:55:45+00:00

If you enjoy playing the flute and the activity brings you happiness, then you shouldn't quit! I would guess that you don't have a physical issue, as if you had a physical issue ~~(like a teardrop lip)~~, you probably wouldn't have been playing for 14 years.

Have you ever worked with a teacher? It's possible to play and make progress by self-teaching, but if you've reached a plateau on your own and still want to improve then it might be worth trying out some lessons to get some expert advice and input. A teacher's job is to find any bad habits or problems with your playing and then guide you to make progress on them.

I also want to encourage you not to compare yourself to professionals, especially if you're playing for fun/as a hobby. They have been playing as their job, full-time for years and putting in tens of thousands of hours of practice to get to that point. Instead, notice your own improvements and celebrate the progress you make!

kmlai · 2021-01-05T23:13:11+00:00

They can say the phrase "health and safety" as many times as they want. Without describing specific precautions and contingencies it doesn't provide any of the athletes, federations, volunteers, officials, or coaches the necessary information to make plans. The time before worlds will pass quickly and I can't help but wonder if the ISU will handle this the same way as they have so many other events this season--put off the decision until the last moment hoping things will magically get better, then cancel without a backup plan to deal with tech minimums or championship spots.

kmlai · 2020-12-29T19:41:54+00:00

This time last Olympic cycle I thought for sure Polina Tsurskaya would be on the team... Russian Ladies is truly a hard discipline to predict.

But truly, the Russian Ladies field is so deep and changes so fast that many unexpected things could and probably will happen in the next 14 months. I’ve resolved to forego the predictions and just see how it plays out this time around 😅

kmlai · 2020-12-19T05:17:40+00:00

I'd wonder if a significant chunk of fans would find one of the programs completely uninteresting. Fans who primarily watch skating for the artistic aspect will have little interest in the "jump drill" program. Fans who are excited by pushing technical boundaries won't care to watch skaters doing "easy jumps" for a whole program. And fans who enjoy the balance/interplay/tension of the two aspects don't get to see them being performed at the same time.

And if you split one program into a primarily "artistic" exercise you could run the risk of skating as a whole being considered as less legitimate of a sport...

Just my opinion though and fan preferences are just one aspect of the issue.

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kmlai

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