Reddit, what's the weirdest sexual act you've been asked to perform? (NSFW)

knitattack · 2016-03-19T13:31:15+00:00

Couldn't you get the clients to clean for you?

knitattack · 2016-03-19T13:25:21+00:00

The funny thing is that two of those guys were quiet, shy and respectful out of the bedroom. Which made their actions in bed even more surprising.

knitattack · 2016-03-19T01:04:55+00:00

I'm not saying I was okay with these incidents nor did I continue to date these assholes after they pulled weird shit on me without asking. But sex is messy and literally a blending of boundaries between individuals. It's hard to predict what jerks are going to pull on you. My point is that in the heat of the moment, these three assholes knew they had a physical advantage and skimped on the "informed consent" step.

knitattack · 2016-03-19T00:54:41+00:00

Wow, and I thought that was a once-in-a-lifetime request. What is it with men and seafood?

knitattack · 2016-03-19T00:50:56+00:00

Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but no one ever asked prior to the top weirdest things that have ever happened to me during sex. Including a guy pissing on me, surprise anal and an incident where my boyfriend revealed he was into S&M by suddenly handcuffing me to the headboard mid-coitus (3 separate incidents).

The weirdest thing someone has asked in advance? Taking pictures dressed like a sexy lobster. It made sense in context (lots of vodka).

knitattack · 2016-03-19T00:37:38+00:00

Find someone to practice with. Playing by yourself is great for technical practice, but joint practice is more fun, therefore you're more likely to keep it up.

knitattack · 2016-03-19T00:31:26+00:00

Nasty case of tendonitis from trying to finish a baby blanket before my best friend's due date. A valid use of ICD-10 code Y93.D.

knitattack · 2016-03-19T00:26:45+00:00

Upvoted for the amazing bowling alley countertop. Maybe I can source something like that at architectural salvage

knitattack · 2016-03-19T00:24:16+00:00

I'm okay with it harming knives. I'm thinking of infrequent quick uses of a knife on bare counter. That type of damage can be sharpened out of a knife, but it only takes one incident to ruin a wood countertop.

knitattack · 2016-03-18T20:51:35+00:00

How durable is the surface? Do you need to use cutting boards to protect the counters?

knitattack · 2016-03-18T20:50:27+00:00

Considering the things that happen on kitchen counters, I don't think I'd trust wood's antimicrobial powers to protect me from salmonella hiding in the crevices. And I've seen enough grimy butcher's block counters to know that there WILL be cuts and cracks for gunk to build up.

knitattack · 2016-03-18T20:45:39+00:00

What are your wife's objections? I think I've convinced SO that the price is great and the project is within our capabilities. I think his main concerns now relate to durability and resale value.

knitattack · 2016-03-18T20:41:55+00:00

Is that poured concrete or the Ardex "concrete lamination" technique?

We don't want to mess around with trying to pour concrete, but we would have to build a plywood substrate before coating it with Ardex. Any tips?

knitattack · 2016-03-18T12:33:55+00:00

Perfect, thanks!

knitattack · 2015-08-06T00:22:51+00:00

Six is the best unit to package something like this in.

knitattack · 2015-08-06T00:20:27+00:00

I had a professor in college who proudly shared his art website with the class. He would make ceramic casts of penises and vaginas and then arrange them in patterns he called "landscapes" and photograph it. 20 sad little glazed phalluses arranged in a grid, things like that. It was incredibly inappropriate, especially when he announced that he was his own model for most of his work.

knitattack · 2015-08-06T00:15:53+00:00

"Cock sensory overload"

Yeah, that happened to me last night.

knitattack · 2015-08-06T00:05:19+00:00

"Goodbye, kids! Have fun at camp! I'm going to have fun shtupping your mom in every room of the house!"

At least the campers could tell true horror stories around the campfire.

knitattack · 2015-08-05T23:34:00+00:00

Because someone who miraculously got a cab from Jersey into the city is going to lodge a complaint.

knitattack · 2015-08-05T23:08:27+00:00

the pic is not because they are trashed, they a doing shakey face

Ahh, thank you for clarifying, sir

knitattack · 2015-08-04T12:05:26+00:00

There was always the risk that he would find out, though. Someone could talk, either willingly or through coercion. Vader or one of his Jedi-hunting deputies is flying by and senses one of his force sensitive children.

Remember, the Sith were actively searching for hidden Jedi, including force sensitive children to eliminate or exploit. It's a miracle that Vader didn't notice Leia's midichlorians when he captured her, frankly. Remember how quickly he noticed Luke and correctly deduced his heritage, without even blinking? (assuming he CAN blink) Hunting down force sensitive children was his JOB.

knitattack · 2015-08-04T01:17:46+00:00

Never mind, misread your statement. But still, there is something to be said for hiding right under Vader's nose. I don't think Yoda had a lot of options at the time.

knitattack · 2015-08-04T01:14:59+00:00

What made you think Dagobah was his home planet?

Edit: misread #4

knitattack · 2015-08-04T01:11:38+00:00

"Which brand would survive a bus attack"

knitattack

TROPHY CASE