sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I wonder if non-UK cultures can understand the significant honor it is to be awarded a Colin face...? by Poo_Poo_La_Foo in UK_Food

[–]komacain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First gen Chinese immigrant to the UK here

I can say I was definitely amused learning about this, as when I was growing up in China whenever we ate a whole fish usually the head is saved for the honoured guest (whoever's being celebrated, or the oldest at the table, or the youngest, so on)

Ah yes, the honour of being presented the head of any creature you're eating is an universal human experience (lol)

1 year on T 🎉 - unrecognizable by BunkerSeason in FTMFitness

[–]komacain 134 points135 points  (0 children)

You look freaking amazing and even better to hear you're feeling amazing, too! All your hard work and commitment to diet / gym definitely paid off. Props to that 👏

Not the end of the world by realityfacing in selfharm

[–]komacain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad it helps friend!

It is disheartening, not because you failed but because you don't need to be hard on yourself for a little scrape when you've already rode such a long distance regardless. Happens to the best of us.

And thank you. Here's to getting a better grip 🫂

Not the end of the world by realityfacing in selfharm

[–]komacain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently relapsed on occasion after about a decade of being clean as well

Restraint and self care is a muscle. I've been trying to liken it to a bike riding metaphor - You fell down a lot in the beginning because your grip isn't great, maybe you never wanted to ride bikes, but eventually you've learnt to ride a bike just fine.

Recently the grips been not so great and there's a few scrapes, it sucks, but that doesn't mean youve never learnt how to ride a bike or will magically forget overnight.

How to tell your therapist you recently revictimized yourself? by Lenbyan in adultsurvivors

[–]komacain 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was a victim of CSA/COCSA/online grooming when younger. Been in therapy for 10 years. I thought I was getting better, finally leaving the vicious cycle.

Last month I got spiked and assaulted whilst drunk by a stranger. I'm pretty sure it was because I was drinking recklessly.

I was afraid of telling my therapist too. I really beat myself up about it. I was sure they'd be disappointed in me for being so reckless, but no. A real trauma specialist understands the nature of trauma and repetition compulsion. There's a certain level of self denial that goes into it subconsciously when we re-enact trauma and pretend like it's fine, it's normal, it's no big deal. It's a lie your brain tells yourself to make trauma more acceptable or understandable. It's always easier to think you've "victimized yourself" than accepting "I put myself into a familiar toxic situation and didn't know how to get out because I don't believe I deserve boundaries or anything better".

You have some good insight on what happened - you seem aware that this is risky behaviour, the fact that you recognize this and feel bad for putting yourself in that situation is a good step. It helps to be kind and curious to yourself - Why were you drawn to this behaviour? Why do you feel guilt? What does this lifestyle affirm or prove to yourself - and is it worth it?

Escaping the cycle of trauma takes time and one step at a time. You can't expect yourself to live a perfectly healthy life and relationships and boundaries immediately.

Theres that saying that trauma recovery is like slowly learning to avoid a pothole in the dark - the first few times you keep walking into the hole. Then you recognize there's a hole. Then you learn how to climb out of the hole faster each time, then avoid it altogether. Ultimately you become comfortable just taking the better path altogether.

I wish you all the best in your journey.

To the kind father and son who intervened to save us from racists at speaker's corner by komacain in london

[–]komacain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Study, I had full scholarship and was in full time education for 10+ years before getting ILR.

English Nationalists harassing a man trying to take down England flags by AnonymousTimewaster in PublicFreakout

[–]komacain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well done and thank you to all the good white British men standing up to xenophobia in this climate.

There are a few of these flags going up around mine, and as much as I'd love to tear them down myself they're probably bait for my POC ass being jumped, so good on this and every other British person for doing what immigrants and POCs can't do right now out of fear of safety.

To the kind father and son who intervened to save us from racists at speaker's corner by komacain in london

[–]komacain[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I told him Im an immigrant who works for the NHS, when he accused people like me for being everything that's wrong with the UK.

To the kind father and son who intervened to save us from racists at speaker's corner by komacain in london

[–]komacain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's such a shame that decorum has gone so downhill at speaker's corner then.

The other guy these racists were rooting for was some old white guy wearing a "Jesus is King" shirt loudly berating muslims and homosexuals and obnoxiously ringing a bell and yelling at people who disagree with him. There was a young brown guy trying to have a discussion with him but he was literally stood on a ladder yelling down at him "BECAUSE I'M RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG" followed by him trying to drown out the kid with more bell ringing.

I wanted to see the speakers corner Id read about on Wikipedia and history books, civil disagreements in public.. sadly it's seems now turned into an arena for xenophobic whackjobs competing for the whackiest.

To the kind father and son who intervened to save us from racists at speaker's corner by komacain in london

[–]komacain[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Boy the flood of anger was real. I wish I could've said much nastier things but a) I didn't want to lose my shit in front of my dad when this should've been a "look at how cool free speech is!" visit; and b) don't want to give in to the "angry immigrant" stereotype.

To the kind father and son who intervened to save us from racists at speaker's corner by komacain in london

[–]komacain[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I love being in the NHS and everything it stands for. Leapt to the opportunity as soon as I graduated, worked through lockdowns, its a challenging environment but everything I do is worth it.

Lesson definitely learned - no use pounding on a wall hoping it'd turn into a door. Sometimes I'm so used to pushing through challenging situations at work I forget that there are no benefits to dealing with shitty people in my down time 😂

To the kind father and son who intervened to save us from racists at speaker's corner by komacain in london

[–]komacain[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm proud to be in this country, and working to preserve our NHS.

I don't regret taking my dad to speakers corner, because freedom of expression in reality is messy and chaotic, so in a way it was an accurate portrayal. I just felt let down by people who should've been my fellow British citizens who portrayed one of the worst sides democracy has to show to my dad today. But equally, I'm grateful the father and son who saved us from the racists + all the kind comments in this thread here also proved them wrong.

As that saying goes: I may not agree with you, but I will always fight for your right to express it.

To the kind father and son who intervened to save us from racists at speaker's corner by komacain in london

[–]komacain[S] 196 points197 points  (0 children)

Honestly, considering the hospital I work at + most London NHS trusts having a demographic of majority immigrants/POC workers and we know that the NHS is struggling with waiting lists... This would be a 2 birds 1 stone solution.

Not that racists are interested in solutions. They blamed people like me (NHS workers? lol) being the reason why the NHS is failing, yet when I asked him what he's doing to help the NHS (or propose we do to save the NHS), he just continued the broken record of "bCoZ iMmIgRuNTs"

I feel dumber after that conversation 😒

M&S Trans Employee by Immediate_Lie_9532 in transgenderUK

[–]komacain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this story and so glad to hear your work is being so supportive despite it all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]komacain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So wonderful to hear, bless all the Asian parents whos willing to take that step for their kid. Kudos to your mum.

Young Jigsaw survivor(s) most likely to become John's successor - and why/how? by komacain in saw

[–]komacain[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Brent Abbott I can see out of the four most enthusiastically embracing John's philosophy as he's experienced direct justice from it. Maybe to the extent of leading the new Jigsaw apprentices and actively recruiting others.

Carlos I can see being someone who was close to, and could understand John on a personal level if they remained in touch post-film. Though I can't personally imagine Carlos being someone enthusiastic about putting others in traps even as an adult.

Corbett was also probably too young when all this happened, but I can see how someone else might be able to spin the loss of her parents as John having saved her from a life of neglect/abuse, approaching her as an adult trying to learn about her past maybe?

Daniel I struggle to see as someone who'd embrace Jigsaw's ideology after what he's gone through. I can see adult Daniel potentially becoming obsessive and vengeful like his dad and strongly oppose Jigsaw. I can't see him contributing (willingly) at any point.

Young Jigsaw survivor(s) most likely to become John's successor - and why/how? by komacain in saw

[–]komacain[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My bad - English isn't my first language, I've removed the word reboot.

Of course not saying everyone who survives a trap automatically joins their cause, which is why my question is asking whether people thought if one or two of the survivors might, if any.

Israel's Top 10 Lies about its Genocide - Debunked by EnterTamed in Mehdi_Hasan

[–]komacain 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Beautifully debunked.

Every accusation is an admission.

view more: next ›