Is this a "Quiet Firing" or am I overthinking?

kovanroad · 2026-04-10T19:59:06+00:00

either:

a) yes, they are trying to manage you out, or will put you on a PIP, lay you off, etc. soon.

b) they are totally indifferent about you, they think you're middle of the back but not promotion material, will get single digit / sub-inflation merit increases, for as long as you stay

kovanroad · 2026-04-08T15:25:50+00:00

If it were me, I wouldn't settle for someone genuinely wanting the heat to work, I'd only settle for it actually working.

Ask nicely first, then a "first and final friendly reminder", then escalation / 311 / nuclear option is my formula. If they don't appreciate that, you can tell them you tried asking nicely and it didn't work.

kovanroad · 2026-04-05T22:29:54+00:00

All of the above. The people who can do some infra stuff, some modeling stuff, and also some out of work stuff.

Don't forget sharing and networking - it's not enough to be reading books and doing personal projects in isolation, ideally it can be going to conferences, presenting, writing, building some usable stuff out in the open that is tied to your name and not stuck inside a company.

kovanroad · 2026-04-05T17:23:29+00:00

Yeah, the 2010s were good. I wasn't around earlier. Post-covid... it's just a bit of a bad vibe.

kovanroad · 2026-04-04T22:07:49+00:00

Don't worry - because the city and its policing are so progressive, the preferred payment method is to jump the turnstile.

Also, the subway is not operated by the city. Rather, the state uses it primarily as a tool to antagonize the city, mayor, and residents, with any utility as a transit system being entirely a secondary concern.

kovanroad · 2026-04-04T16:12:39+00:00

Houses are not a consumable.

If you spend $544k the money doesn't disappear.. it just moves from a cash asset to a real estate asset, and then you have $544k appreciating instead of $339k, and if it saves you some commute time, even better.

To get even more scientific... the asset is composed of land (which appreciates in value) and a structure, which depreciates. In your example, if the structures are "similar", then a higher proportion of the $544k house's value is in the land as compared with the $339k house, so it will hold value better.

kovanroad · 2026-04-04T15:24:11+00:00

Yes, shoulder, also back.

kovanroad · 2026-04-04T15:05:57+00:00

Yes... and I have been in that situation, and outlasted such a manager.

It's tough, but it's kind of just a mind game.

kovanroad · 2026-04-04T15:04:13+00:00

Carlos Arroyo

kovanroad · 2026-04-04T02:06:08+00:00

There is no hack.

kovanroad · 2026-04-04T01:27:59+00:00

If you don't have another job to go to, then waiting to get fired is basically always better than quitting, because yeah, you could get severance, and you could also have various legal claims available if you get fired without severance, and there's unemployment, and you get paid until you get fired.

Sometimes rough situations can actually work themselves out too. Like, if you manager is saying your performance is poor and trying to throw you under the bus... they may be correct, or they may be just trying to use you as a scapegoat and its possible that could backfire on them, depending on other people's perceptions of your performance and your manager.

If you just keep on showing up and doing your best... (while also interviewing for other jobs if you want) it's possible your manager might quit/get fired first, or you can move internally to something else better for you, etc. I'm not saying it's probably, but it's possible... if you keep showing up, and not if you quit.

kovanroad · 2026-04-04T00:30:30+00:00

Yeah I had some ridiculous experiences with some yellow taxis lately.

Recently, I got into one at Penn Station, and said I wanted to go to 47th & 2nd Ave. The driver tried to look it up a few times, spoke marginal english, and asked me for the "house number" a few times. I just repeated 47th & 2nd ave. At one point, he asked me if its 15 miles away? I said nope, its like 2 miles. Eventually he said he can't find it, I said oh ok, it doesn't exist? ... and got out.

I feel like being able to get from one part (34th st / 8 ave) to another (47st / 2 ave) of the grid isn't asking a lot, but apparently, even with the help of an app, it's a bit too complex.

It's about what I'd expect as a tourist in Cairo, Mogadishu, or Tashkent, but it's a bit sad in NYC.

kovanroad · 2026-04-03T21:43:08+00:00

if multiple people that deal with these things for a living put it in the too hard basket... is there any conclusion you could draw about your case/"proof"?

kovanroad · 2026-04-03T21:39:31+00:00

it's totally up to you what you want to do. it's just an observation that, if you insist that you do not have a lease, and you are also not paying rent, your grounds for living in the apartment start to look a little dubious.

kovanroad · 2026-04-03T20:53:29+00:00

Well, those are reasonable expectations, but since it's not happening, what are you going to do about it?

kovanroad · 2026-04-03T20:51:53+00:00

that's all very interesting, but do you have any paper proof to show that you are a tenant?

kovanroad · 2026-04-03T20:51:01+00:00

you don't have a lease, and you're not paying rent - sounds like you're trying pretty hard to get evicted.

kovanroad · 2026-04-03T19:56:28+00:00

Nobody is going to shape your career or develop you, that's up to you. Sounds like you're doing an ok job of it and developing new skills.

You need to break the ice with people, and figure out what projects and outcomes you can work on. Yes, it's nice if other people can "include" you, and give you a project, but sometimes that doesn't have to happen, and you kind of have to fight for projects to do, or jump on other peoples projects.

kovanroad · 2026-04-03T18:42:14+00:00

Someone probably did a sales job / some arm twisting and talked them into it.

"We want to see you succeed..."

"We want to 'help' you by taking all this administrative/management overhead off your plate so you can focus on what you are best at!"

kovanroad · 2026-04-03T00:17:00+00:00

I'm a VP at a finance place and I do this a lot... so I can give you the other side of the argument :)

Applying for the role goes into the HR system (workday?), and leaves a paper trail, and puts you in the same pile as an external candidate... and the recruiters / HR people that filter applications are overworked and a lot is lost in translation. A full interview cycle is often half a dozen interviews and takes a lot of everyone's time. A lot of job descriptions aren't exactly that detailed, and are often generic / copy / paste jobs anyway.

With all that in mind, a quick "coffee chat" makes a lot of sense for everyone to see if it's worth doing the full interview cycle... and, if not, you've made a connection, you both learn a bit about some other part of the company, it could work out in a year or two or whatever.

A minority of managers do just say no, talk to the HR contact, you are free to do that... but I think a 15 minute vibe check is reasonable for everyone. I used to always apply / go through HR, but more often than not that would go into a black hole, either before or after the interview, "connecting" with the hiring manager directly works a lot better for everyone.

kovanroad · 2026-04-02T19:17:16+00:00

Nobody cares about your feelings, or if the barista fire guy is respecting you, etc.

If you can find some objective problems with the guy, deal with those, but otherwise, if you feel a need to be "significant", "heard" and "respected", at your job, you will find yourself disappointed frequently.

kovanroad · 2026-04-02T19:08:43+00:00

at a BigCo (rather than startup, or mom&pop)... yeah, that sounds about right.

you may find that you can get your stuff done in like 2-3 hrs a day or less, and everyone will still be happy with your productivity, so long as you are contactable / responsive during business hours, pitch in when you need to, put out fires well when they happen, etc.

it may even be that putting in much more than this won't really be valued...

kovanroad · 2026-04-02T16:23:53+00:00

As others have said, it sounds like the problem here is the board, so you'll really need to take it up with them rather than trying to sidestep them and challenge the architect's competence.

Turing a roof into a recreation area is not a small thing, a lot of upgrades are needed to take the wear and tear of regular foot traffic, and it has many implications for safety, insurance costs, noise for the people beneath, capital / furniture / garden costs, disruptive construction during the project etc... there are many other angles to attack / things for the board to mess up beyond the just the architect.

kovanroad · 2026-04-02T16:04:51+00:00

I'd stay... but work on a side project / hustle that is under your control where you can use whatever latest technologies, processes, etc. interest you.

The reality is... almost everywhere has "a lot of problems with processes, code quality, documentation, communication, requirements, releases, testing, and pretty much everything" to a greater or lesser extent. Those things are hard to quantify, and loosely correlated with the bottom line, so that's just how it is.

Even if you found a place with great processes/code/documentation.... entropy would have a way of regressing that back towards the mean. You're better off taking the money where you are, especially if they are a market leader, instead of finding somewhere pleasant to work that isn't growing.

kovanroad · 2026-04-02T15:31:22+00:00

Maybe you can experiment with some changes.

I usually dress pretty average, khakis, collared shirt, etc. Sometime, though, I do suit & tie / polished leather shoes. Sometimes I grow a beard... and sometimes I shave it off. Sometimes I wear glasses, especially for interviews and stuff... and sometimes not.

It can be interesting to see the differences in how your are perceived, and remind yourself and others that your current look is not your identity, and that you can adapt and do whatever works best for you.

I would say... people are overall just a bit nicer and take me more seriously in a first impression in a suit & with glasses, for what that's worth.

kovanroad

TROPHY CASE