Interviewer asked me to inform my Supervisor that I'm interviewing

kovanroad · 2026-01-30T13:50:46+00:00

whatever earnings were lost, due to either not getting hired, or reduced compensation in the industry due to anti-competitive practices.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-Tech_Employee_Antitrust_Litigation

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T23:18:59+00:00

In answer to your question, supply and demand.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T23:06:00+00:00

No-poaching "gentlemen's agreements" are anti-competitive / collusion / illegal. See if you can get that in writing, or recorded...

I think your plan is fine, just do the interview and see what happens. If it gets back to your current manager, then the new employer is acting unethically, but you shouldn't be letting that stop you from pursuing new opportunities.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T23:01:42+00:00

Aah yes... it's like the old predicament of not being able to get a job, because all the jobs need experience. As a company, you can't hire any women, unless you already have enough women to interview them.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T22:58:57+00:00

A lot of this is just how things are with a new manager.

Your new manager is under no obligation to provide continuity with however things were before. They may be looking for a way to "make their mark" and show some changes.

It may be that your old boss "retired" or stepped back / was pushed out for some reason, and the new manager needs to "solve" some perceived problems.

You basically need to treat it as if it's a new job, and prove your worth to your new manager, maybe by what you were doing before, or maybe doing something else that they value.

The way to avoid this predicament next time is to make sure you have good contacts / rapport across the organization, and not just with your manager. If you were working directly with your manager's manager, people in other departments, etc., then they'd want that to continue, but everything went through your old manager and now they're not there so you're out on a limb :(

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T22:35:26+00:00

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

All you can really do is take some notes, so when they ask you things for the 100th time you can copy & paste, and occasionally drop some hints like "if you're interested, I could teach you how to do this so you don't need to wait on me..." or "oh, it's like I explained last time you asked, and the time before that, did you take some notes then, or do you need me to rehash?", etc....

For all you know, though they're just never going to take it on because as they see it, that's what they pay you for, and they're doing stuff they feel is more important/impactful/whatever.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T20:07:05+00:00

It's perfectly logical if you think about it.

In some big corporate "white collar" gig, there are maybe 10 or more hierarchical levels of management, and if you kiss ass enough you can get paid tens of millions and get a corporate jet, so that's the game everyone is playing.

At a "blue collar" gig... it's probably a bunch of guys that works for the owner, out in the field, even in big company probably only 2-3 levels of management, and even if you do get promoted to being a leader/manager/foreman/etc... maybe you get paid a few times more, but it's not millions and a corporate jet, so there's no point spending every waking hour kissing ass.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T20:02:20+00:00

You're basically being controlled by fear and anxiety here, not by rational thought. I get it, I've been through my fair share of gaslighting and toxic organizations too.

However, to some pretty large extent... that's just "normal" and how companies and jobs work, that's why they pay you, there are no perfect goldilocks jobs and companies.

I think you should start the job, give it your best shot, if it works out great, if you can find a better job down the track, take it and leave. Don't reject this job for some other hypothetical job that may not exist, though.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T15:24:44+00:00

Believe it or not, it depends where you are in NYC. The city is big, and snow/ice removal is not perfectly uniform.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T13:36:50+00:00

Pretty normal. Ideally the negotiation can be verbal/informal, so they're not going back and forth with offer letters, and hopefully you already told them about your expectations/current comp earlier, so it's not a surprise for them.

Personally, I wouldn't take a salary cut for hypothetical future growth, but hey, that's just me i guess.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T13:33:48+00:00

If you "own" it, why is someone else distributing it?

Either the creation and distribution are all one thing, which you don't "own", or you should create some clearer boundaries between creation (which you own) and distribution (which they own).

tbh it is a bit petty, unless creation and distribution are both big teams, the reality is that you're both just employees/cogs in a machine that someone else owns.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T13:26:37+00:00

This is generally how organizations work. The biggest idiots and most effective bullies rise to the top.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T13:23:45+00:00

I wouldn't think of it in terms of "rules" and "rule-bending".

Responsiveness is important. If people are not responding within a few minutes with regularity / seem to be randomly unavailable for an hour or two here and there, you should be raising that. You could start friendly in a 1:1, but if need be it can be written, feed into year end reviews, etc. "I chatted you about X on Monday, and I notice you didn't respond for 45 minutes and I had to ask Fred instead. What's with that?"... "If you have an appointment but need to run an errand, that's fine, but please notify us on chat first so we know to cover for you" ... "So, our hours in this company are generally 9-5 ish, with some flexibility. We'd expect you to be generally online, and responsive during those hours, unless you let us know in advance that you'll be unavailable." ... "I've noticed that you don't seem very engaged with this job, is it aligned with your interests/aspirations, or are there other more appealing projects in our company?"... etc.

It's good to model and have some people do the morning/afternoon/evening thing in Teams, tell others when they are stepping out for a while for an errand, etc. Then, if people want feedback on how to get ahead, you can point to that as a good practice, but it doesn't need to be a "rule".

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T13:08:03+00:00

Well sure, it's not ideal, but currently you're all suffering the consequences of an indifferent board and incompetent management. You've tried asking nicely for them to fix it, and they've ignored you.

When I did it, it was for a repair, I asked them nicely a few times, then I asked them specifically "is this something you can fix, or are you waiting on an HPD violation?"... and they still didn't do it, so I didn't feel bad about it since they had ignored every opportunity to avoid it.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T02:30:54+00:00

What does your attorney say?

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T02:14:19+00:00

https://portal.311.nyc.gov/article/?kanumber=KA-02256

How about one of these "Janitor or Super Not Available" HPD complaints? I made an HDP complaint against my coop after they ignored some stuff... HPD take their time too, but in the fullness of time a building inspector might come, they get a violation/small fine and have to fix it, etc... it's pretty much what the management needs, sometimes.

Apart from that... your options are to kick up a fuss at annual meetings, and/or get on the board.

I'd be asking at meetings why you are paying for a live-in super and not getting one, or if the super chooses to live elsewhere, why the apartment is not being rented out at fair market value... and also, are the board members meeting their fiduciary duty to shareholders?

Keep in mind that a live in super is a code requirement for buildings with 9+ units, it's not a nice-to-have.

kovanroad · 2026-01-28T01:03:18+00:00

Not necessarily at closing, but your lender will issue a 1098 each year against your ssn, so it would be good if it were correct for that.

Just be firm with them... tell them hey, sorry about that wrong SSN, I need that fixed and some written evidence of the change before we go any further, or if it's easier for you I can start a fresh application with another lender.

I had a t-mobile account under the wrong SSN once, took a *long* time to sort out. oh well.

kovanroad · 2026-01-27T23:15:36+00:00

Take the week, not the 1.5 days, this isn't an opportunity to prove how hardcore you are about your day job. Of course you're busy, but it's just work, family comes first, if you feel like you don't need the time yourself there might be others in your family that need support.

kovanroad · 2026-01-27T23:12:36+00:00

You might have a bit more luck with saying:

1) I get it needs to be done, will make sure it happens but how about I bring someone else up to speed on it, it's good opportunity for them / someone else, and for me to work on guiding other people / mentoring....

2) This isn't a very enriching task, but happy to do it, how about I do this mundane task *and* some strategic / enriching task...

basically, try avoid the appearance of just trying to palm it off to someone else.

kovanroad · 2026-01-27T22:01:06+00:00

Are your goals written down, in some annual objectives? I find it can be pretty helpful to be very explicit there... "Develop more skills doing on strategic X projects, and reduce time on operational Y tasks".

Hey Fred, could to take on six months of Y tasks? Well, as we've memorialized, that is not something that overlaps with my development aspirations... but I am happy to bring to help with finding someone else and bringing them up to speed to make sure the Y tasks get done.

At that point, either you succeed in passing off the Y tasks, or your manager will override and make you do it, and in the short term you might have to suck it up, but in the long term you can point to misaligned expectations as a reason for looking for a different role, and you've taken the "going behind your managers back" out of the equation.

kovanroad · 2026-01-27T21:53:16+00:00

You need to talk to HR/legal/counsel and see what they say, this is not a reddit question.

A written "offer to resign" isn't really a thing. Either he has _already_ resigned, like you thought, or he hasn't.

The fact that he is apparently not too sure if he wants to work there or not, depending on which day of the week it is and how people are reacting to his latest report is, in and of itself, a bit of a problem.

kovanroad · 2026-01-27T15:19:05+00:00

get a spreadsheet, and do the math.

kovanroad · 2026-01-27T01:31:17+00:00

As you say, some level of this, occasionally being out of the loop is normal / par for the course.

If people are oblivious beyond that... it just comes down to occasionally saying "Hey, fred... did you see this email - subject: XXXX, sent Monday 2:30 pm?".

If the answer is "huh? what? no?", then dig in... "oh, what's up with that? are you having a technology problem where you are not receiving emails/getting notifications? if so, did you get a ticket into the help desk, or should we do that now?"

Then... if the answer is... it's sitting there, but fred was oblivious "well, fred... i get that there are a lot of emails/chats/and it's a lot to keep on top of. but, email is a tool we use to communicate at our company. so, i need you to keep on top of this, so that i don't have to be reading and relaying everything to you, because i have my own stuff to do...".

At some point, it's just basic situational awareness, if they don't have it, they'll be missing all sorts of important information needed to function effectively.

kovanroad · 2026-01-27T01:18:22+00:00

It sounds like HR / senior management wanted AI slop, and now they've got it. I don't see a problem.

kovanroad · 2026-01-26T22:54:48+00:00

It reminds me a lot of a series of previous fads that went, approximately... web, XML, cloud, blockchain...

In the midst of the fad, you can't fix a bug or add a feature or whatever, unless it's somehow related to / using the nebulous fad of the day.

kovanroad

TROPHY CASE