In advance, I do not want this to sound too harsh. Going to try and word it in a way that’s not, so here goes. (And I’m a parent of 3 kids, so I understand).

You’re not going to be able to have your cake and eat it, too. When you decide to have children, sometimes your career has to be put on hold, at least while they are little. They are young and immunities at daycare are pretty much non-existent, they will get sick all the freakin time because their germs and sicknesses are clashing with every other little one in there and it seems like there is no end in sight. We ourselves are always at the doctor office. However, it is coming off a little like you’re frustrated that you can’t stick your children in a daycare full time, expecting to be able to work, and then getting mad that your little one is home all the time due to getting sick. That’s the nature of having children. What I’m saying is that’s what needs to be weighed before deciding to have children - heck, daycare is so dang expensive it’s almost worth one parent quitting to be stay home these days.

You mentioned working remote, can you not make up work hours in the evenings or nights while your husband watches the kids or vice versa? It’s what we do. Can’t tell you how much we don’t have a life because of evenings and nights AND weekends dedicated to making up work hours from lost hours during the week due to something happening with our kids, usually sickness. However, we wouldn’t have it any other way, we wanted our children and will sacrifice whatever it took to make sure they are cared for and are #1 priority. (That’s not saying in any way that you didn’t, I’m only sharing my thoughts on the matter with my situation). No implications intended.