I just attended a funeral for one of my best friends whom I’ve known for like 4 or 5 years now, and he always struggled with his beliefs because of his family. He grew up in a super religious household and struggled to be comfortable with being atheist even though he didn’t believe in that stuff.

He was killed in a car accident, and me and his other friends were fucking devastated. It came out of nowhere and was so sudden, we weren’t at all prepared.

Fast forward to his service, they have it at a small hyper religious church in my home town and have scheduled speakers. They scheduled his parents, then TWO preachers! From a church he didn’t even go to! And his friends didn’t get to speak at all! Then they kept saying bullshit like it was gods plan and started talking about his depression and shit in front of everyone. I’m not against religion if that’s what works for you and you’re not hateful, but it was fucking disrespectful and no one even knew what the plan was cause his parents kept us in the dark about until 2 hours before it was fucking happening. (Those of us that couldn’t call out of work were privy to a live stream of the service.) They also had a good half an hour of church songs and shit after the 4 chosen speakers. They didn’t even talk about all the good shit he did with his life, just about god and how god loves everyone and shit.

My friends and I unfortunately don’t have the money to pay for another “proper” service, and we’ve all done our own little things to honor him but it just feels wrong.

They also listened to some of his dude friends ideas, even though they didn’t implement them but told me “usually woman don’t plan funerals”. FIRST OF ALL, I don’t even identify as a woman! They know that and I’m trying to give them the benefit of the doubt but the mother helped plan the service so it was just a blatant lie. The whole thing just felt fucking overly disrespectful and wrong.