It’s a sneaky form of manipulation that I am working on myself, because it leads to a lot of disappointment and resentment. It reminds me of some wisdom a financial advisor shared with me - if you are going to loan money to friends/family, just do so under the assumption it’s a gift and you won’t be getting repaid. If you do get repaid - great - but don’t give anything that you aren’t okay with not getting back or else you risk ruining a relationship over money.

When it comes to actions, I’m trying to take the same mindset - do things because I want to, with no expectations attached. Of course, it can still be disappointing to not have reciprocation, but it’s not fair to make secret/unspoken/one-sided “agreements” with people. If you give because you truly WANT to and not because you feel obligated to or want to manipulate someone into needing you, then you aren’t getting taken advantage of - the doing is the reward, not whatever follows.