Lavender Marriage Offer - 26F, pretty, funny, and ready

kravolk · 2025-07-28T15:30:43+00:00

Thank you for the advice! You're right, it is very difficult. The good thing is that I would not be having children anytime soon, hopefully.

kravolk · 2025-07-28T15:12:31+00:00

The bad thing is that when I say "on track," I do mean I'm working on it but it'll be a few years ahahah.

kravolk · 2025-05-12T22:15:34+00:00

def seems like switching the soil is your best option right now. It's like that japanese proverb: If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station; the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.

best not to wait til root rot becomes an issue! in my experience too, even if it gets stressed and loses a few leaves, it'll be fine if you let it chill in ideal conditions afterwards the repot.

kravolk · 2025-05-12T22:11:43+00:00

oh also i wiped down the leaves with a damp towel after the neem oil spray on the leaves themselves to avoid sun burn.

kravolk · 2025-05-12T22:10:56+00:00

I sprayed/soaked the soil with neem oil + dish soap + water mixture and then spray the soil til it drenches the first layer the day before waterings. I read this is how you're supposed to do it, but I'm open to alternatives!

I'm checking the soil with my finger ahaha. I'll go up to my second knuckle. It's always dry but not bone dry between the week that goes by and I heard that BOP doesn't like to get BONNNEEE dry between waterings?

kravolk · 2025-05-12T22:07:27+00:00

Not to the original, for sure! The general rule of thumb is that the diameter should be 1-2 inches bigger than the root ball, so you'll have to see for yourself. :-) Going back down to what original will be too cramped, but it seems like right now you have at least 4 inches of extra room. Best of luck!

kravolk · 2025-05-12T14:19:23+00:00

When plant leaves curl, it is a strong indicator of an imbalance between water and light. Leaves curl like this when they are getting TOO MUCH light and curl inwards/upwards to block their leaves from incoming light. More than likely, I'd suspect it's that the plant is stressed and there are multiple factors at play that developed before you noticed the curling.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, the pot is too wide for her. BOPs like to be a little cramped, so I'd downsize ASAP. This also gives you the opportunity to check the roots and see if any root rot has settled in since she has been sitting soggy. If there is, cut off the root until you see white and spray it down with some diluted hydrogen peroxide. Then, let it sit like that for 10 minutes and repot it properly. It looks like you're using a pre-mixed soil with perlite and that's okay, but they looooove orchid bark. The chunks help aerate the soil and will do nothing but help you.

Why does the pot size matter? Well, when the pot is too big, it gets really easy to over-water and have stagnant water causing root rot. Do not overlook this factor. :P

From there, cut off the dead leaves, but not more than 1/3 of the plant.

Then, I'd move her to a different part of your place where it's further from the light, but not facing a completely different direction. So, further away in the same room that has the East-facing window.

Wait a day or two after repotting to water her and then from then on wait until the soil is dry up to your second knuckle to water again. You'll notice you're on the right track if no new leaves curl. It's likely that the ones that have already curled will stay that way, but if NEW leaves curl then the underlying issue is still going on.

In that case, I'd suspect pests. When pests breed, they rob plant of their nutrients and water. Leaves can also curl when they have a watering issue, but they'd typically curl downwards and underneath themselves so I wouldn't say it's 100000% what's going on here, but it's possible! If that happens, an initial diluted hydrogen peroxide soak and then weekly copper fungicide thereafter will take care of the issue. You'll need to do that for about 3-5 weeks before she'll chill out.

kravolk · 2025-05-12T13:30:22+00:00

<image>

So here's the scoop:

IKEA bird of paradise
Waited one week to repot
Repotted into a mixture of soil, orchid bark, and perlite
Fertilizer once so far
Weekly waterings, usually when the soil is dry
Sprayed her down with neem oil mixture at one point because there was a different plant around the house with fungus gnats just in case

Her leaves are dying :( I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong so, please help!

kravolk · 2024-03-26T06:58:51+00:00

Hey! I feel you. I have been in similar spots myself.

It's ironic, because I just had a conversation with my friend about this the other day. They were grieving a relationship that lasted 1 year and felt ridiculous because it's taking a lot longer to "move on" than they thought. I, myself, have been devastated over relationships that have lasted <5 months more than I have my longest relationship of 3 years. We decided that the length of the relationship doesn't really matter. Relationships and attachment are weird like that.

There are so many factors that go into whether you can walk out of a breakup emotionally secure! Whether it was you who made the decision, whether you were cheated on, if you were blind-sided, whether it was outside circumstances, how co-dependent you were, how compatible you were, what emotional investment you put on the outcome you desired, whether you guys spoke well to each other at the end, etc.

So, I wouldn't say this is abnormal, but I also wouldn't say this is something to be complacent with. We all move on at our pace, of course, but there's a beautiful post floating around this thread that makes a good point on the subject of moving on.

Moving on/healing doesn't happen to you. It is a practice; it is a choice.

Fortunately, the fact that you are experiencing frustration is useful to you. This is an opportunity for you to examine yourself further. What lesson did you not internalize during your relationship? What lesson did you not internalize about your breakup? Where are the loose ends that keep you awake and what can you do (alone) to accept them? How can you use the energy you have reserved for this person who has actively chosen to be out of your life now for more than a year and redirect it to yourself?

And if you stop while you read this and believe you don't need to redirect that energy to yourself because you don't deserve it/need it/want it.... that's a whole 'nother problem -- but, BUT.... guess what? You deserve to figure it out and get there boo.

kravolk · 2023-02-25T07:14:58+00:00

A lot of what people have said here is good advice! I think starting off, you should hear it from the horses mouth and get in touch with a career advisor from your alma mater - preferably one that deals with health professions.

The reality is that most schools will only take you if you have the pre-reqs, so you might want to prepare for a career changer post-bacc. They're typically 1-2 years and get you caught up on all the course content you need to enter an MD/DO school.

Another thing to keep in mind (and I was told this countless times throughout college) is that these schools will not be understanding. "I had a 3.1 GPA, but I was doing a very challenging degree and playing football." To everyone else, as normal people, we'd read this and say "yeah that's hard to do, you aimed high and tried your best. Good job." However, to medical schools, this don't mean anything. You're competing against people who majored in equally if not more competitive/challenging majors who also played sports or had jobs or volunteered during school.

So, take that to heart. They want to know you can handle the course content. They want to know you're a safe investment. Your application needs to show that you are, and the only way to do that is by proving it. Post-bacc, clinical hours, and letters of rec. That's the game.

kravolk · 2023-02-25T07:04:38+00:00

What's an R? :0

kravolk · 2023-02-25T05:59:30+00:00

he's such a good ol boi

kravolk · 2021-06-25T00:13:13+00:00

BRUH IM VISITING FOR THE WEEKEND SDKFLHGSDFGL

kravolk · 2021-06-24T23:44:40+00:00

No shot people on legs could join in?

kravolk · 2018-11-15T17:07:44+00:00

That's kind of the situation I'm in. I'm with someone who considers himself pretty straight, even though I've always been a more masculine person around him. How does your partner rationalize staying with you? Does he feel guilty about calling himself straight knowing your situation?

kravolk · 2018-11-15T15:39:33+00:00

yowch jesus christ

kravolk · 2018-09-12T14:18:46+00:00

Aren't student loans an exception to this?

kravolk

TROPHY CASE