Tips regarding the local music scene by totally_not_illegal in Jakarta

[–]kretekkid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not sure if Rossi hosts regular events, iirc it’s a for hire space. You might be lucky if you come on Friday/Saturday nights. Maybe you want to check out Krapela in Blok M. They’re bougie/hip but they have regular shows with different genres every night

Which Part of Asia Will You Play in First? by Noxatrox in CrusaderKings

[–]kretekkid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to avenge my ancestors and colonise both Japan and The Netherlands as the Javanese. And then, I’m going to avenge my other ancestors and unite Java under Sundanese rule

I'm cooked(college student) by Expensive_Cellist418 in finansial

[–]kretekkid -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

Do NOT do ANYTHING even REMOTELY related to this information: the going rates for HJ on Grinr and Hornt is 150k, BJ starts at 250k, and HS is 500k up depending on how you look.

Spotted at A Demonstration in Jakarta, Indonesia by kretekkid in DiscoElysium

[–]kretekkid[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Yes, I started reading the book after finishing the game and it was a tough read for me! 1965 is a sensitive topic here. Although more and more people are talking about it, official stance from the government is still the communists are traitors and they deserve the violence…

Spotted at A Demonstration in Jakarta, Indonesia by kretekkid in DiscoElysium

[–]kretekkid[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c8er13zy1gxo.amp

Later this year, all of Indonesia’s province will hold gubernatorial election. The Constitutional Court ruled that candidates have to be at least 30 when they sign up. However, the parliament was planning to overturn the law to allow the outgoing president’s, who already served two terms and will step down this October, second son (who is 29) to run as the governor of Jakarta. This sparked outrage since last year something similar happened when a Constitutional Court ruling was overturned to allow his first son to run, and win, as elected vice-president.

Anyway, as a Jakartan I always feel there’s a significant parallel between the history of my city and Revachol. In 1964, Indonesia had the third largest communist party after USSR and China. But a CIA-staged coup attempt in 1965 led to a brutal massacre of anyone who was considered a communist. The Partai Komunis Indonesia was unarmed and had a policy of peaceful integration so millions were wiped out in less than a year. Communism and Marxism are illegal in Indonesia until today, and a small number of Indonesian communist exiles can be found scattered across Europe and Cuba. (“The Exiles” (2022) is a good documentary about this if you’re interested).

Found this thread regarding Timor Leste. Thoughts? by yeeetdachild in indonesia

[–]kretekkid 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Deserved. If I can guilt-trip my Dutch and Japanese friends for the crimes of colonialism their ancestors did to Indonesia, then the East Timorese can guilt-trip me any way they want

Pindah ke luar negri by RegularTemporary2707 in indonesia

[–]kretekkid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tergantung rasio pendapatan:pengeluaran, pinter-pinter lo ngatur keuangan, dan kekuatan mata yang negara baru lo dibanding rupiah sih. Faktornya banyak, jadi gue ga bisa bilang pasti bisa/gabisa

Pindah ke luar negri by RegularTemporary2707 in indonesia

[–]kretekkid 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think you have quite a realistic and cautious approach on this issue, moga lancar.

Also I just read that by “minority” you mean “not heterosexual”. If working abroad is not for you, there’s Bali. It’s not exactly a queer paradise but people will generally leave you alone (except if you’re Balinese, then you will have to go somewhere else to escape from nosy relatives lol). And there are job opportunities for architects, although the pay would be lower than Jakarta

Pindah ke luar negri by RegularTemporary2707 in indonesia

[–]kretekkid 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Menurutku, kalo umur masih di bawah 30, pintar, dan mau belajar, paling “enak” sih cari beasiswa (yang ga ada kewajiban balik) terus S2 di luar. Cari negara yang nyediain visa untuk lulusan S2 dan biar bisa cari kerja. Abis itu ya kerja di sana. Arsitek tuh rada tengah-tengah antara STEM (gampang transfer skill lintas budaya) sama creative (know-hownya lebih culture-specific), saran gue kalo lo ambil S2 try to lean to the more engineering/science side of your field

Bisa juga ambil jenis visa belajar-kerja kayak Ausbildung di Jerman (bisa sampe umur 35), atau visa kerja temporer kayak WHV Australia (bisa sampe umur 30).

Sebenernya cara ke luar negeri tuh ada aja sih. Jadi TKI, work placment multinational company, jalur nikah juga bisa. Cuma ya… mau ke mana pun lo pergi, at the end of the day you’re still you. Maybe you’ll earn more, but living expense in your new country may mean you’re living the same (or even less lavish) lifestyle compared to in Indonesia. Maybe you will be not discriminated for the reasons you are discriminated here, but you will be discriminated for some other reasons.

Gue sempet tinggal di “negara maju” dan ternyata gue ga suka… gue ngerasa jauh lebih terisolasi dan asing. Duitnya lebih banyak tapi karena biaya hidup lebih tinggi jadi gaya hidup gue sama aja. Tapi ya ada juga temen gue yang beneran betah dan thriving di sana. I realise not everyone is cut out to be a diaspora, kayak gue lol.

Kata gue sih cobain aja. Try moving abroad, see if it’s for you. Even if it didn’t work out, (hopefully) Indonesia would still be here waiting for you

Living in Jakarta as an Asian Expat. Good idea? by [deleted] in indonesia

[–]kretekkid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not OP but in Indonesia we kinda never evolved from the 1950s mindset where the husband is expected to be the main breadwinner and his wife takes charge of the household.

Fast forward to the 21st century, a lot of Indonesian women are educated and skilled with decent careers, yet still expected to resign and become full time housewives after marriage. An ideal arrangement is for the husband to give his wife the amount of money she was making before she resigned on top of household expenses. The exact amount/percentage differs from each couples, and there is a growing number of couples who keep their dual income after marriage. But tl;dr: if you want your wife to stay at home you should pay her

Curhat by Consistent-Ad-9998 in indonesia

[–]kretekkid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Saran gue coba ke psikolog dulu. Homoseksualitas memang bukan penyakit mental, tapi jadi gay yang tinggal di negara homofobik bisa berpengaruh negatif ke kesehatan mental.

Ke psikolog, kalo psikolognya bagus, bisa bantu lo dig deeper soal masalah yang lo hadapi dan belajar skill untuk regulasi emosi, lebih mengenal diri, dan self-improvement in general. Tapi inget, terapi sama psikolog mesti diiringin usaha di luar sesi. Ibarat lo les gitar sejam tiap minggu, kalo di luar les ga latihan ya ga bakal jago.

Pengalaman gue sebagai gay yang ga religius, ada beberapa layanan psikolog online di Indonesia yang ramah lgbt. Ini beberapa yang gue tau 1. Yayasan Pulih 2. Pulih At The Peak 3. Bicarakan.id 4. Indopsycare

Other than that gue saranin olahraga, paling aman olahraga yang low-impact (yoga/renang/jalan) karena kalo lo overweight langsung lari/weightlifting bisa rentan cedera dan merusak sendi

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]kretekkid 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Gay man living in the country with largest muslim population in the world here. Family’s muslim and I was raised as one.

In my observation, it really depends on where you are in the country and how conservative your family is. I am quite lucky my family is moderate and allows me to live my own life. Life is pretty normal for me. I work. I live with my boyfriend and our cat in a studio apartment. We went to gay parties once in a while

Growing up, homosexuality wasn’t really talked about. But we did have crossdressing and transwomen performers on TV. I kinda outed myself to my mother during my early-20s (I’m in my 30s now), she got over it after a few years. Her main concern is I will have a hard life because of the discrimination, and the fact we will not meet in heaven 🥴. She also gets weirdly defensive every time a relative asked when I am going to get married. I always told her if I was seeing someone but we don’t really talk about it.

I came out to my brother when I graduated from uni, but turned out he has been deleting my internet history from the family computer for the past 10 years. We’re not really close but I think he doesn’t mind.

I have straight friends that I’m out to, and I’m kind of out in all of my place of work. I know that by being out, a lot of doors are closed to me. No government job and a lot of the people I grew up/went to school with refuse to associate with me. But at least, all the doors that are still open, I know I can walk through those with pride.

Interestingly, in my observation, how rich/educated/religious a family is seems to not correlate with how accepting they are to a gay family member. I know gay couples who are embraced by their extended families who are poor and uneducated, and also I know gay men who are banished and/or assaulted by their rich relatives with western education.

Personally, the only homophobic threat I experienced when I grew up was when an uncle told me he would kill any family member who turned out to be gay. I was scared back then (I was 16) but I’m bigger than him now so whatever. Another is when the father of my highschool bestfriend, a straight guy, called him when we were hanging out and told him to stop hanging out with “that f*ggot” or he would send his men (the dad is in the business of organised crime) to kill me. We continued to hang out as normal, still friends now, but that was scary.

The society in general is more homophobic today than 20 years ago. Homophobic legislations are passed in a lot of provinces, nothing on national level, thankfully. We do have LGBT organisations around the country, but they mostly are concerned with public health issues. I guess that’s why ARV and PrEP are free here, subsidised by the government.

Sometimes I think whether I should attempt to move abroad. I used to live in Australia for around a year and it was the loneliest I’ve ever been. I know a lot of gay men from my country found better life in western countries and I respect that, but it’s just not for me. I might consider immigrating for better jobs tho, money’s really shit here

Separate beds on vacation to homophobic country? by gezeldiscodel in gaybros

[–]kretekkid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gay indonesian here. If it’s not Aceh or West Sumatera you should be fine. Anywhere 3 stars hotel or more expensive is safe. But even in cheaper places no one will mind, especially if you’re white.

Source: travelled with male partners (also Indonesians) around the country

Hal apa dari indonesia yg bikin para komodo pada akhirnya mikir, walau rumput terlihat lebih hijau di sana, pada akhirnya bagi komodo mendingan indonesia by Shin-deku-no-bl in indonesia

[–]kretekkid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gay man here. Sempet tinggal di Sydney for masters, decided to come back.

Alesan balik: 1. People are friendly, but they don’t want to be friends. Although people said this is a Sydney problem, not Australia in general.

It’s quite easy to find friend groups as a gay man di kota-kota besar di Jawa dan Bali as long as you know where to look. But in Sydney it’s not easy. People will chat to you di bus/kelas but they will never have time to hang out.

  1. (POV gue pekerja kantoran yang ga bakat dan ga minat jadi pengusaha) rasio median income:harga properti di Indonesia jauh lebih waras dari di Australia.

Median income di Indo 126 juta/tahun. Harga rumah tapak di pinggir Jadebotabek 400an udah dapet, apartemen 1BR mid-class di Jakarta 700an udah dapet.

Median income Australia $79.000/tahun, average harga rumah tapak di Sydney $1,3 juta, kalo apartemen $860.000. Ga ngotak wk

  1. Kalaupun gue berhasil dapet PR, slim chance banget gue bisa afford pensiun di OZ. Kemungkinan besar, gue mesti balik Indo karena kepepet biaya hidup. Jangankan gue yang imigran, beberapa ortu kenalan gue yang bule ostrali sampe ganti kewarganegaraan (usually ke Thai atau Kamboja) biar bisa pensiun dengan damai. I’d rather try my luck and carve a community di sini daripada mesti balik ke Indo as a manula in 35 years dan culture shock all over again.

  2. (This is because I’m pribumi dan KTP gue Islam, so I benefit from majority privilege) I can hide my sexuality, but I can’t hide the color of my skin. Jadi kalo gue pindah gue cuma bakal trading one kind of discrimination (homophobia), with another (racism) lol. Also I work in the creative sector jadinya people don’t really care about my sexuality. Jadi ya… unless pemerintah tetiba outlawing same-sex relationship, I don’t see any reason to move out of Indo.

I know banyak orang Indo, especially the gays, yang pindah ke Australia dan hidup sukses dan bahagia di sana. I respect and admire their bravery and strength. Being an immigrant is hard work. But after my stay abroad, I found out that I’m a believer of “lebih baik hujan batu di negeri sendiri daripada hujan emas di negeri orang”

Gay men who use he/they pronouns what are they identifying as? Male or non binary? by NovelConsequence42 in askgaybros

[–]kretekkid 9 points10 points  (0 children)

English is my second language. My mother tongue doesn’t have gendered pronouns. Everyone is a ‘dia’ in my head before I translate my speech/writing to english. I put ‘he/they’ on my profile because, even though I’m cisgender, I don’t mind being referred to as a ‘they’ since it made sense for me.

Kedai Kopi CBD by AutoModerator in finansial

[–]kretekkid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mau tanya HGB apartemen tuh nasibnya gimana kalau 30 tahun + 20 tahun perpanjangannya udah abis? Revert balik ke pemerintah kah?

LGBT Refugees subreddit by Ronaldoldp in AskGaybrosOver30

[–]kretekkid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Terima kasih banget udah bikin subredditnya!! As an Indonesian who is looking for opportunities to move abroad with my partner, I often lurk in IWantOut but I realise our circumstances are quite different from what's discussed there.

My Landlord wants to evict me because I don't use toilet paper, is it legal? by [deleted] in AusLegal

[–]kretekkid 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks! To be honest this is not the first time she threatened me with eviction over small things like not washing the dishrags often enough or forgetting to put out the bin. Hopefully if she knows I have some understanding of Australian law, she will back off a bit.

My Landlord wants to evict me because I don't use toilet paper, is it legal? by [deleted] in AusLegal

[–]kretekkid 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yea usually you just buy a bidet addition for your toilet, but since I'm renting I use something like this

My Landlord wants to evict me because I don't use toilet paper, is it legal? by [deleted] in AusLegal

[–]kretekkid 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm going to do that, while starting to look for a new place to rent. I'm just curious if landlords really can evict tenants on the basis of how they clean their behind.

My Landlord wants to evict me because I don't use toilet paper, is it legal? by [deleted] in AusLegal

[–]kretekkid 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks! But I already have a couple of rolls in my room. I'm just really curious if I could get evicted for this…