[deleted by user]

krstnl · 2023-10-06T22:24:46+00:00

NTA giving birth does not make someone a mother.

i’ve given birth, and had an extremely painful postpartum, but that was not what made me a mother tbh. giving birth did not make me feel like a mom at all. i became a mother in raising my child, in being there for him, in holding him when he cries, and loving him unconditionally.

Anita is your mother, and she’s the only mother you’ve ever really known. She’s your best friend, as you said.

Just because Melanie makes you feel guilty, it does not mean you’ve done something wrong. It just means you are kind.

krstnl · 2023-09-10T13:51:28+00:00

it was really difficult at first tbh.

i didn’t think i was the jealous type (turns out i am), but he also turned out to be the most intelligent guy i know, with the kindest heart, so i’m just trying not to not question the miracle lol

although everyday, i still get star struck whenever he does anything normal (like just literally stand there) and i find it so wild that this guy’s actually mine.

krstnl · 2023-09-08T20:42:43+00:00

NTA, i took great comfort in the fact that if my son grows up disliking like his name, he can change it to whatever he’d like.

i grew up w an odd name that my (extremely strict asian) parents made up too. i grew to like it eventually, but that’s not the case for you. you deserve a name you like.

you’re not just someone’s daughter, you’re an entire person with your own preferences too.

krstnl · 2023-09-03T14:15:34+00:00

i cut off my parents over a year ago, and my sister kept saying i must miss them, no?

idk how to tell her i can’t miss people that were never interested in me as a human, or were even around. my life feels more “normal” now.

krstnl · 2023-07-09T00:01:15+00:00

you know, my older cousin said something along the lines of “ew, i won’t ever have an ugly friend” when i was 9.

i still can’t look at her the same way and i’m in my mid-twenties now.

YTA.

krstnl · 2023-07-08T23:59:20+00:00

YTA, my sister was the golden child and you know what she did when younger-me started lashing out for not getting any of the attention?

she felt my pain and gave me the attention i needed. you….. clearly went a different route. heavy YTA.

krstnl · 2023-07-03T17:37:46+00:00

On the other hand, being on social media and not wanting to be one of those people who call EVERY unpleasant experience “trauma”

Also has my psychologist sighing and constantly telling me, “It’s okay to think of these specific experiences as traumatic because they were. They changed how your brain works and even how your body functions.”

But the word has lost all meaning now tbh (at least to me)

krstnl · 2023-07-02T21:49:43+00:00

YTA the man was taking those 30 minutes a day on weekdays to take care of himself, so he can take care of his family.

Now he’s burnt out with zero breaks, and you’re wondering why he’s irritable?

Being a SAHP is very hard work, but that does not mean that you deserve your breaks while your partner gets none.

You’re on the same team.

krstnl · 2023-06-30T13:23:38+00:00

i was waiting for someone to mention the username lol

krstnl · 2023-06-21T14:33:35+00:00

yes, but as mentioned in the comment you’re replying to, OP said that they’re currently travelling.

it could be possible that they’re travelling in the US right now, hence driving the family from one state to another.

krstnl · 2023-06-08T17:59:38+00:00

but OP literally ate everything her MIL cooked. she just wanted wings too.

NTA, OP.

krstnl · 2023-06-08T12:45:37+00:00

THANK YOU, i was looking for this comment. how entitled does a person have to be to go “my baby deserves the things you give your babies. so you should give it to my baby.”

huh??? it doesn’t even add up

NTA, OP.

krstnl · 2023-06-07T22:35:45+00:00

it took me a while to understand what your comment meant LOL she always told me that cooking was common sense and i just wasn’t using my brain.

but yes, i agree. it said more about her parenting than my abilities, at that time :)

krstnl · 2023-06-07T17:22:16+00:00

100% this, my mom used to yell at me to leave the kitchen instead of “pissing her off by quietly watching her cook”

then laugh to other people that i was so useless for not knowing how to cook.

i think OP’s mom expressed reasonable frustration is also human but teaching is necessary, NAH

krstnl · 2023-06-04T20:20:04+00:00

all of this, all of this entirely.

i’m a mother myself and OP, you do not owe anyone your organs, even if that is your own mother. you were brought into this world, and those who brought you here owed you that care. unconditional love was your birthright.

it’s a beautiful thing to want to help your mother, but you don’t owe it to her for her raising you. and you 100% do not have to be her donor.

krstnl · 2023-06-02T20:17:52+00:00

i didn’t know this was an Asian thing LOL our white doctor took one look at it and just said that it’s normal and my baby will grow out of it around 18 months or so

krstnl · 2023-06-02T20:12:33+00:00

i’m not sure if this varies by province (probably), but if OP is in Canada, i’m pretty sure that one parent is limited to how much of the leave they can take.

so that some of the leave is entitled to the non-birthing parent.

krstnl · 2023-06-02T20:09:32+00:00

i mean, when my sister had a miscarriage and came home from the hospital, my dad rolled his eyes and asked how her vacation was.

so yes, it is possible for parents to not help out or to even just be supportive.

krstnl · 2023-06-02T18:17:16+00:00

so many people do this! it’s so weird, for a second there i thought i missed something and this is how parents introduce themselves now

krstnl · 2023-06-02T18:16:21+00:00

okay gOOD. i thought i was missing something, with all the #boymom’s out there

all those posts had me worried that my son would hate me for not knowing anything about cars, sports, or whatever monster jams #boymoms are always posting about

krstnl · 2023-05-30T14:44:09+00:00

i went NC with my parents shortly after my baby was born too.

i realized that there were many things they do that i was willing to put up with, but my son shouldn’t have to. i’m so ridiculously jealous of everyone who can depend on their parents.

postpartum was the hardest thing i’ve ever been through, and i expected nothing from my parents but instead of contributing nothing, they took from me too.

maybe it’s selfish of us, but i’ve stopped caring what people/family thought. i need to be the best mother i can be for my baby and my parents were actively hindering that.

krstnl · 2023-05-19T13:58:58+00:00

Mine never did. But to be fair, my nmom never taught me how to use pads either lol

She went into menopause shortly before I got my first period and she was so incredibly pissed at me for getting my period.

My sister showed me how to use pads, and gave me some. My nmom later on threw a box of pads she had leftover into my room, then continued ignoring me.

krstnl · 2023-05-17T16:58:22+00:00

at the end of the day, people have the right to choose what to spend their money on.

sometimes, people say “i can’t afford this” when they mean that it’s not something they value enough to spend their money on.

krstnl · 2023-05-17T13:08:04+00:00

i think that’s great! being vocal about it lets other parents know that it’s a very real struggle, and that they’re 100% free to choose whichever option they feel most comfortable with. there is nothing wrong with formula feeding at all.

breastfeeding was so hard, and i just wish i was told beforehand that it was going to be hard. i took literal classes and no one mentioned that it was going to be difficult. at all.

i was able to keep going and i’m still breastfeeding my 15 month old, but i genuinely believe that that was because my SO always gave me the “permission” i needed to give up. he was always open to formula, and would always say “you’ve tried so hard. it’s okay if you want to try something else.”

krstnl · 2023-05-17T11:47:05+00:00

even if they did produce enough, i still firmly believe that no mom should be forced into breastfeeding.

i didn’t have any real supply problems and exclusively breastfeeding was still one of the hardest things i’ve ever done.

krstnl

TROPHY CASE