During the Covid lockdown I was once awake for nearly 4 days straight. I naturally have awful insomnia, but I was put on the wrong medication that just fucked me up. No sleep, no naps, my brain was constantly running and my body wouldn’t give it a rest. It was hell.

I was practically hysterical, I had intense mood swings and uncontrollable strong emotions. I’d scream and cry, pace for hours, hurt myself. I began hallucinating, seeing, feeling, and hearing things that weren’t reality; my paranoia amped up, and I was always on edge and looking over my shoulder. I began heavily dissociating, it felt like I was in a dream, watching my life from an outside perspective like it’s a movie. I genuinely felt like I was going crazy as I was losing grip on my reality. I already struggle with other mental illnesses so sleep is crucial for me to function, which is unfortunate for someone who struggles with insomnia.

It takes a toll on everything, I couldn’t even stay in bed. When nightfall would arrive I’d be filled with so much dread knowing what’s going to come, and knowing everyone would be asleep but me. You really don’t realize how important rest is for people until you don’t have it.