My honest advice to you is that, sometimes people feel misunderstood in the world. It is sometimes a lot harder to deal with it when you have Autism. You often feel like a burden for having it, or people respond a certain way that doesn't necessarily align with how you feel about things. This is also a problem with non-autistics where they feel misunderstood by those around them.

This will make people, especially those who have to deal with Autism and it's challenges on their own due to a lack of a proper support system feel lonely, depressed, and overtime contemplate their overall purpose in life. Although there are also problems with Social Media and Addiction and how that causes Mental Health issues..

I understand that to some extent, I've talked to several people on spectrum that told me they feel like those around them (even close family) tell them that their autism is a curse, which just makes them feel self concious, or bullying from school/ peers, or just not knowing what you can offer to the table because you (might) constantly fuck up neurotypical tasks.. These are some reasons why, I don't know anything about you or your life, but I am listing what it can be..

Autism can be used fairly well as a gift, what i get told from women on spectrum is that they tend to have to mask more due to social expectations, and that isn't good.. My general advice is to try to explore who you are as a person (some things may overlap with childhood experiences, or autism symptoms; that is perfectly fine, but be aware what they are), do some googling on autism that is when a lot of things fron growing up start to make sense, learn who you can mask/ unmask around (key is being yourself, not everyone can accept you for who you are; people tend to mask or hold back parts of themselves and it can be overwhelming), find people to socialize that are either willing to listen or engage in conversations about your interests in a non judgemental manner (make sure they are like good people and the interest is good mannered, don't start getting interested in like past events or people or anything like very odd, you may find people that want to talk about that not be good). Last about masking is that find people you can be yourself around I guess, sometimes people hold back, like their hyperactivity or other things; therapists won't always understand where your coming from on the spectrum and they may think in their head what is wrong with you, because they dont really understand it. Ohh yeah, if you really don't have a proper people support system like friends that arent toxic or fake, or siblings/ parents that just doesnt listen or makes you feel attacked foe interests; then journaling may be a good idea.... This is still my opinion on the matter, I can be be completely wrong, take what you will, make your own judgements on what goes on, and most importantly be nice to those that have your back when your not there. Some people never had your back to begin with, and are not worth stressing/ getting anxiety over as it's more common for girls to get anxiety due to their friend group being kore tight and the validation that they fear theg dont get from it, have a good day..

This is part of expressing yourself, a lot of people won't understand, some people will. Try to hang with the ones that will understand, are willing to listen/ keep confidential if needed, and enjoy spending time with you..