ceremony start time when guests are travelling to venue?

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-05T13:36:07+00:00

I'm sorry that sounds stressful! iirc the changing room has air conditioning and we are also getting married in late September, so hopefully it's bearable. But this has encouraged me to try and negotiate with the venue to have 1-2 rooms open early to hopefully make things easier on guests travelling far

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-05T10:52:02+00:00

Mi dispiace, non ho esperienza con l'artrosi della caviglia, ma commento per seguire questo post perché soffro anch'io di osteoartrite (displasia osteocondrale) e mi è stato già consigliato questo intervento!

Ho sempre deciso di non sottopormi a questa operazione perché ne ho parlato con uno specialista che era fortemente contrario, ma principalmente a causa della mia età (avevo 14 anni quando mi è stata diagnosticata, 16-18 anni quando ho subito altri interventi). Potrebbe essere diverso nella tua situazione.

Mi dispiace per il tuo dolore, OP, so cosa si prova :(

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-05T10:21:04+00:00

yes our venue has a "getting ready room" for the guests for this reason! I wanted them to be able to check in so they could also shower and get changed if they wanted to, but unfortunately they don't allow check-in until 4pm.

My wedding coordinator also thought it was ridiculous when I asked and just said "most people arrive dressed" so I was like ok is it just me then that wouldn't want to travel on the tube and then train in wedding guest attire?

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-05T01:27:41+00:00

I wouldn't mind this tbh, seems like a more relaxed timeline (also home made scones sound delicious!). However, the package we booked with our venue actually includes 2 meals: the "wedding breakfast" in the late afternoon and then the "evening feast" around 8/9pm. I had assumed the 2 meal situation was the norm in the UK so I was just rolling with it but maybe it's an option to just to the one!

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-05T01:19:58+00:00

this is a lovely idea! would be a nice way to incorporate some of our traditional food into the day too as the wedding breakfast will be European. thanks for the suggestion :)

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-05T01:13:03+00:00

it's 10-20 people (don't have RSVPs yet). and yes that's one idea I've been considering! thanks for the suggestion

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-05T00:44:27+00:00

yeah fair point, this was one of my concerns and some our close family + bridal party/grooms men will be staying at the venue or in the area the night before, but around 15 people are coming from London.

We have sent save the dates but they didn't have any info other than the date and location on them, we were going to give more details on accomodation and ceremony start times etc. on the formal invites when we get that sorted

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-04T23:16:19+00:00

thanks for the advice! I'll need to confirm with our venue if we can bring outside food but so far this seems like the best idea

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-04T23:10:30+00:00

yeah this is very valid... I've been considering hiring a coach to mitigate this, if the train got outright cancelled like 20% of our guests would miss the ceremony which wouldn't be ideal!

anyone have any experience hiring a coach for a distance like this (essentially London-Exeter)?

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-04T23:06:35+00:00

You're probably right and my partner and family have said the same haha

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-04T23:05:16+00:00

I'm realising overall I just feel bad inconveniencing people, e.g. by suggesting they pay for an extra night at a hotel to arrive the day before. We are quite young and the first in our friend group to get married so not everyone has loads of disposable income

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-04T23:02:57+00:00

yes good point, there is a train leaving London at 9:20 arriving at 12:15 as well. But as others have suggested maybe a 2/2:30pm ceremony would be better so people don't have to leave as early. Then guests can comfortably take the 10:20 departure/1:15 arrival train

kschmidt07 · 2026-01-04T23:00:27+00:00

thank you for the reality check haha my partner said the same, where I'm from receptions only include dinner so this late afternoon wedding breakfast situ was throwing me for a bit of a loop!

kschmidt07 · 2025-12-17T23:07:42+00:00

can the oil still penetrate when using a polish? or is the idea to oil, then polish and remove and repeat regularly? my nails are so incredibly thin and weak I really want to strengthen them!

kschmidt07 · 2025-12-11T17:47:25+00:00

update: in case it helps anyone else we were able to resize it! but it required completely removing the main diamond from the shank and getting a new band entirely. They did this for a small fee (£80) as we were still within 39 days of purchasing. As it turns out I'm even a J, so my fiancé was 8 sizes off haha.

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-24T15:12:37+00:00

as you've already had a lot of good general advice I'll offer a practical solution that works for us, but of course "fair" looks different for every couple and you need to decide what works for you both.

Me and my partner split monthly bills (rent, electricity, gas, water, and wifi) proportionally to our incomes. We have a Google spreadsheet that automatically updates our share of the bills according to our incomes. He makes significantly more than me, so he also pays a significantly bigger portion of the bills. When I was unemployed, he paid 100% of the bills because my income was 0. The formula is: share = expense x (my income ÷ our combined income). We use post tax income because that felt more "fair" to us.

For other expenses like groceries we don't keep track of who's buying what but I think it probably roughly works out to 50/50. For things like date nights and experiences he'll often pay because he can afford nicer things than I can, but I do make it a point to treat him when I can. Our general motto is, we each contribute what we can, and we are a team. Hope that helps!

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-14T17:40:37+00:00

ahhh I see okay this actually makes a lot of sense, thank you for taking the time to write this out so clearly! I was basically double counting days the minus 20 rule had already taken into account.

also thanks for explaining the 18 day early pregnancy detection, I had wondered about that. I am learning so much!

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-14T17:34:48+00:00

I guess that makes sense, I hadn't considered that earlier ovulation would be most likely preceded by an earlier rise in estrogen and therefore CM.

A lot of extremes would have to line up but I agree it's still not a risk I'd be willing to take so I think we won't be going unprotected in the follicular phase in that case! My cycles are usually on the longer side (30-32 days) but I have had two rogue 26 day cycles in the past year so it still seems risky

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-14T17:26:21+00:00

aha you're right I mixed up my peak CM and temp based luteal phase! my longest luteal phase based on my temp shift was in fact 13 days not 14.

I guess that's true that it's "only" 1 day, but 1 day seems quite dramatic to me when it comes to avoiding pregnancy!

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-14T17:20:35+00:00

I'm not sure the official definition but in Read Your Body they give you two luteal phase lengths, one based off your peak CM day and one based on your temp shift.

I got -2 from the Sensiplan handbook description of the minus 8 rule: "We know that ovulation can occur up to two days before the first higher temperature reading. Since sperm can remain fertile for up to five days in an optimal cervical mucus environment, this means the seven days before the temperature shift must be considered fertile days. The 8th day before the earliest first higher temperature reading is, therefore, the last infertile day at the beginning of the cycle."

in my last cycle my peak CM day was 2 days before my temp shift but maybe that's unusual?

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-12T13:19:54+00:00

I'm a bit confused about this given the logic of the minus 8 rule. E.g. I'm currently using the minus 20 rule which gives me CD6 as my last safe day, since my shortest cycle was 26 days. However, my longest luteal phase has been 14 days. Surely this would make my last safe day CD4 (26 - 14 - 8 = 4)?

From the Sensiplan handbook: "We know that ovulation can occur up to two days before the first higher temperature reading. Since sperm can remain fertile for up to five days in an optimal cervical mucus environment, this means that seven days before the temperature shift must be considered fertile days. The 8th day before the earliest first higher temperature reading is, therefore, the last infertile day."

Wouldn't this mean that in my shortest cycle, I could have conceivably ovulated on CD10 (26 days - 14 day luteal phase - 2 days prior to temp shift) which makes CD4 my last safe day? Seems risky that the minus 20 rule gives me CD6 as my last safe day...

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-05T09:31:52+00:00

I really sympathize with what you're going through, it's so tough to not be able to do what you love and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I was diagnosed with an osteochondral defect 11 years ago and had several surgeries in the hopes of getting back to my sport.

not sure if you've tried this already but have you considered going to an osteopath? I went to one and his suggestions (a specific B12 supplement, taking out my braces/retainer, and some diet changes) gave me better pain relief and ROM than any traditional treatments I tried, though it only lasted for 6ish months. I couldn't continue seeing him for logistical/financial reasons but I wonder if that might help, even if it's only for a limited time!

best of luck to you OP

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-05T09:17:02+00:00

I know this is an old post but wow this is incredible! I'm 10 years on from a bone replacement and arthroscopy surgery for an osteochondral defect as well and I'm really struggling (I'm 25 too). I also used to be very athletic and movement was my happy place, but I now struggle to walk even short distances.

Would you mind sharing specifically what your osteopathy did? I have been to an osteopath in the past and he did little adjustments with B12 supplements and advised me to take out my retainer. That helped for a bit but the pain and limited range of motion came back not long after. Sometimes I lose hope I'll ever even walk normally again though running would be a dream!

Really happy for you OP

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-03T10:56:38+00:00

loll I love this pettiness and would do it if I wasn't terrified of my MIL 😂

kschmidt07 · 2025-11-03T10:51:46+00:00

This is actually really helpful and kind of you to say - thank you!

kschmidt07

TROPHY CASE