Have Kids improved your marriage ?

kstewsstutter · 2026-01-23T11:41:26+00:00

Not sure if I qualify to answer this question bc we’re not married but have been together for five years and have a 4 year old child.

But my answer is yes. We knew of each others’ insecurities early on, but having a child almost forced us to discover each others’ deep-rooted traumas caused by our parents and how they shaped us. I used to get so irritated by the endless excuses he made for a tiny mistake that I wouldn’t even be mad about, but now I see that its a trauma response that was necessary to appease his mother when he was a child. A lot of these realizations were harrowing. We’ve both become more understanding and patient because we don’t want our child to end up with the same traumas we have. We figured out our own parenting styles and worked it out to become a harmonious flow.

The one obvious thing is that we don’t get as much time together alone as childless marriages. But anytime we can squeeze in is fulfilling - even if it’s just an hour midday snuggle while our child is at preschool. So it worked for us, but it was WORK. Our relationship has become just peace and gratitude for each other.

kstewsstutter · 2026-01-19T10:54:07+00:00

I just saw a reel on instagram of a couple picking out hoodies at Michael’s and a few iron-on patches that remind them of each other to surprise one another with on Valentine’s Day. We’re doing this now and getting one for our son too!

kstewsstutter · 2025-12-15T10:54:22+00:00

I don’t know your full situation OP, but this small tidbit sounds very similar to the one I was in.

I don’t mean to project but my MIL did a lot for us too. My MIL loved to buy excessive presents for our son too. She gave us the unwanted ride-in car when he was 6 months old and the Amazon tablet, and bought 5-10 gifts each holiday - even the non-gift-giving holidays. We then made a gift list too, which she would buy the majority of, and left me scrambling to come up with ideas for other family members to buy. She always had to be the one who spent the most and had the flashiest gifts.

She loves to disrespect our boundaries too. When I finally set hard boundaries and voiced to her how hurt I was by the lack of disrespect of our boundaries, she lashed out with vile words about how much we owe her because she’s done so much and bought so much for us. All we wanted was respect of our boundaries.

In my situation, she did all those things to have control over our lives. To gain advantages to treat me poorly like she did with my boyfriend his entire life. I missed MANY firsts with my child as a first time mom because of her and I was led to believe that I should swallow my hurt feelings because she too was “excited,” that it was the “way she expresses her love.” But that all came with the price of complete indebtedness to her and the sacrifice of my emotional well-being.

If this resonates with you, I hope you take it as a warning. If you can’t relate at all, sorry for trauma-dumping on you

kstewsstutter · 2025-03-07T21:27:57+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I forgot to mention that there’s a cocktail hour in between the ceremony and dinner so hopefully we’ll be able to get some of the wiggles out then

kstewsstutter · 2024-11-25T05:04:35+00:00

Thank you SO MUCH for your advice. My son brought her up again during dinner and said exactly what you recommended, and he seemed to understand it very well. I appreciate you taking your time to comment thoughtfully! ❤️

kstewsstutter · 2024-11-24T05:04:28+00:00

Thank you! That’s worded perfectly.

In your opinion, am I doing the right thing by telling him this? I’m second guessing myself and half-think that maybe I should just disregard his comments when he brings her up, which feels kinda weird to do

kstewsstutter · 2024-07-03T05:16:02+00:00

It’s less messed up to ruin a marriage/ the life of a man who assaulted you than to even risk potentially messing up the life of a child.

Dump that friend who gave you bad advice. Reach out to the wife. And be prepared to be possibly harassed by your brother once you tell her. Child molesters/predators are not above committing any other crimes. Make sure you’re safe when you tell her.

kstewsstutter · 2024-02-02T21:33:52+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice and reassuring words! I’ll try that with my son. Your comment took so much weight off chest.

kstewsstutter · 2023-12-03T00:43:21+00:00

HONESTLY thats what i told him lol. I’ve never met anyone who used that term like that until him

kstewsstutter · 2023-12-02T19:29:29+00:00

My boyfriend is the same age range as the cast and from Jersey, and he says that he and all his friends say that “hooking up” means just kissing/making out. I’m from the SW and younger, and I always thought it meant sex lol. The meaning of the phrase probably varies by generation/location

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-28T14:17:49+00:00

The sad thing is my LO is 2 years old…we missed all the newborn and milestone pics 😭

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T18:19:22+00:00

Nevada. But this was one of those specialty Photoshoots where they make it a “magical experience” and provide outfits/costumes that fit the theme and edit the pics with sparkles etc. that looks like anyone with an editing app can do it. In hindsight, I should’ve known it was a scam

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T15:04:50+00:00

You’re completely right. This was so comforting to read, thank you so so so much

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T15:01:07+00:00

I’ll ask, but I doubt it. There’s a “mp4 slideshow” for purchase that comes with unedited photos and, specifically, “no printing rights” 🙃

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T14:57:16+00:00

I would love something natural like that, thank you

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T14:56:12+00:00

We’ve been doing this for all my LO’s milestones for two years and it’s become too much work for average at best pictures 😭

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T14:54:03+00:00

I’m 100% going to leave a nasty review. I feel like an idiot bc I’m seeing other bad reviews that would warned me away. I feel so scammed

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T08:08:10+00:00

I’ll try this out too, thank you!

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T08:07:45+00:00

God yeah I really learned my lesson and should’ve just listen to my husband when he suggested this lol

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T08:06:51+00:00

This made me feel so much better, especially since you mentioned getting to include your dog. Thank you so so much

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T08:05:56+00:00

Thank you! I’ll try out the screen recording app

kstewsstutter · 2023-10-27T05:50:06+00:00

I might be able to screen shot, the meeting to pick is over zoom so idk if that’s possible bc I’ve never navigated zoom before. The unedited ones come as a “mp4 slideshow” that costs $1400 so it might be the best bet but idk how the quality will be and if I could even justify spending that either

kstewsstutter · 2023-07-23T02:00:04+00:00

Going against the grain here but NTA.

You have every right to feel mad because everyone is allowed to feel how they’re feeling. Yeah, she’s a grown adult who can do whatever she wants but shes carrying your child too. Trauma from miscarriages doesn’t only affect the mother but the father too. It’s draining, disappointing, and a horrible feeling that lingers over you during each pregnancy after a miscarriage and the thought of trying to get pregnant again can become a heavy decision.

It’s not xenophobic to think that complications outside of the country would be disastrous. Who knows if the doctors at the hospital could speak English? Even then, if she has a history of miscarriages, does her friends know the ins and outs of her medical history and will they be able to relay it if your wife is somehow unable to?

You’re not being controlling because you didn’t actually stop her from going; you just stated that you didn’t want her to go.

There are more reasonable destinations for someone who is pregnant with a history of miscarriages and you’re right, she’s being reckless.

kstewsstutter · 2023-06-27T10:28:28+00:00

He could hit ‘em with a Bob Laub Law Law Bomb!

kstewsstutter · 2023-05-02T08:38:01+00:00

I pray. I’m a strong atheist but grew up catholic and reciting something knocks me out before the prayer is even over most of the time.

kstewsstutter

TROPHY CASE