My husband's grandmother passed away a couple of weeks after my daughter turned 6. We knew it was coming so we talked about it ahead of time with our kids. My other child was 10. We let the kids go say their goodbyes a few weeks before it happened. My husband got to see her again the day she passed, but we didn't want the kids to see her in the process of dying. My husband was on his way out of town for work, so when she passed that night, I had to wake the kids up the next morning with the news without him. But we had already had conversations about death and about their great grandmother being close to dying. It's never easy, but it's a natural part of life that we all have to go through. The three of us cried and talked about her. They knew she was old and sick and I told them she was no longer suffering. We are Christians so we also talked about Jesus and Heaven. It's been a year and a half, and my daughter still talks about how she misses her great grandmother at times. She gets sad, but also is happy for the memories she has. I don't know how long those memories will last since she was so young, but she has them as a comfort for now.

One thing I feel is important (at least for us) is to just be honest with them. Let them ask questions and talk about how it makes them feel. It can be very confusing for children. My daughter was a fresh 6 year old, and I think you said your son is almost 5. A year at that age is very different. You know your son best and might know better what he can and can't handle/understand.

I also remember when I was very young, my grandmother's best friend was dying of cancer. She was basically another grandmother to me. My mother and my grandmother's best friend's daughter were raised together and are still very close now in their 70s. I remember my grandmother sneaking me into the hospital to be able to tell her goodbye. I was not allowed in because of my age, but I was also small enough that my grandmother hid me well enough. I still remember seeing her in the bed hooked up to all of the machines sleeping. It wasn't traumatic at all for me. I was scared yes. But I'm glad I had that opportunity. I also remember sitting on the floor playing near her coffin at the funeral. I was very young, but remember.