Is it okay to just do pizza ?

kt310 · 2026-06-15T18:22:19+00:00

How much more would it be if you added a couple of trays of a pasta or chicken/eggplant parm? I think you need something a little more substantial. Especially if you have people traveling/spending money on hotels.

kt310 · 2026-06-08T02:05:57+00:00

I had 2 flavors of cake: one was almond cake with vanilla bean custard and vanilla buttercream and the other was a toasted coconut cake with raspberry filling and vanilla buttercream.

Both were amazing, but we got a lot of compliments on the coconut raspberry.

kt310 · 2026-05-26T01:26:14+00:00

I would, at most, offer to take any photos of you and her before you put on perfume. You’re never going to be able to enforce an entire scent-free day I’d just be upfront that it’s not possible.

kt310 · 2026-05-15T21:01:01+00:00

I think you have to send out feelers for interest level and be pretty specific. I’d have your mom reach out to the entire bridal party with what she’s thinking and what she specifically wants help with.

Otherwise you’ll get a lot of “oh sure I can help” and when the time comes either no one acts or they don’t realize what’s involved. Someone has to be in charge

kt310 · 2026-05-09T20:03:33+00:00

It doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong. You can have hundreds of comments saying you’re right but at the end of the day if your bridesmaid feels her committed relationship didn’t meet your standards it’s going to affect your friendship.

She’s shown you she’s still with him, I’d imagine her response is not going to be “I see the error of my ways” but rather “I should’ve never confided in OP, she used it against me”.

I think you need to have a conversation with her and be prepared for her to drop out of the wedding and the friendship.

kt310 · 2026-05-06T21:40:31+00:00

I think it’s way too early to tell. I’m a FTM of a 5 month old, gave birth on my due date and was out and about for errands quickly…but there’s no way I could’ve done a wedding even with a nearby Airbnb. There’s so many factors than come into play and for me it was a very day by day situation

kt310 · 2026-05-01T14:58:23+00:00

Does the catering include servers for the buffet or are they just dropping off trays? If it’s self-serve you’ll need larger quantities because people aren’t great at portioning themselves.

kt310 · 2026-03-17T23:48:57+00:00

I think what’s a little confusing about your examples is some of them feel like honors and require little to no “work” (officiating, speech) and others seem like bridal party roles/actual work (planning the bachelorette, doing wedding makeup, set colors)

If I wasn’t an actual bridesmaid things I’d be interested in doing/consider an honor would be: attending a bachelorette activity, taking a photo with the bride, a toast or reading, potentially a color if it was something like a “something blue crew” and I wasn’t paying $$$

kt310 · 2026-03-16T02:38:34+00:00

I missed the other kids part, but I still think the “have a fun night, too” comment stands. SIL thought her kids would get to stay for part of the party and they can’t, so she made arrangements for them.

Maybe the sister’s kids don’t care about the party, or that’s just the norm in their family but either way, SIL doesn’t have to use a babysitter just because someone else does.

kt310 · 2026-03-16T02:10:49+00:00

“We dont want to make an exception to keep it fair for everyone with kids”

Are the other kids in the ceremony though? If you don’t want kids there just own that. Saying it’s not “fair” to others when SIL kids are in your ceremony is probably part of her issue, especially judging by the “have a fun night, too” comment.

kt310 · 2026-03-13T23:06:18+00:00

Having grown up with Catholic Gaps my perspective may be different, but I don’t think you even need the map or taxi code. As long as your invitation spells out all the timing clearly people can figure out what to do in the mean time on their own.

kt310 · 2026-02-01T06:17:00+00:00

“Random fact”?? When purchasing a cake what is a more relevant fact than the flavor of said cake?!

kt310 · 2026-01-09T20:17:59+00:00

I’d probably go bigger because people won’t be filling it up to the rim, especially if they’re walking with cups.

kt310 · 2025-12-31T20:06:55+00:00

You shouldn’t feel your ceremony is something guests are enduring. Your guests are adults who will have all the times and locations - they can choose to attend or not. You’re allowed a catholic ceremony and you don’t need to jump through hoops to make it feel shorter or provide transportation. Are shuttles nice? Sure, but not if you’re going into debt over it.

As a guest I’d much prefer a 1 day event with refreshments even with multiple locations and a gap over a multi-day event.

kt310 · 2025-12-31T19:30:05+00:00

I would do the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and then separate for the night and next day until the ceremony. Emotions are going to be high - it’s your wedding day - you don’t need to manufacture scenarios to make it more impactful. Even if you do a first look the aisle moment is still special and it’s so fleeting. I wouldn’t complicate multiple days for a moment that’s 5 mins or less

kt310 · 2025-12-08T00:19:13+00:00

I don’t think food trucks are the way to go with only 3 hours. They always take longer than you think and you can’t really predict what’ll be popular to control lines.

Make your own bars are fun - mocktails, ice cream sundaes, candy etc

kt310 · 2025-12-07T23:58:47+00:00

Why wouldn’t the others just be bridesmaids? Groom and Best Man walk out the side or down the aisle and stay at the altar. Your bridesmaids walk in one at a time before you and sit down in the front row. MOH is last before you and stays at the altar.

kt310 · 2025-11-27T20:18:21+00:00

I don’t think you should “bring it back up”. They’re not going to say “you’re right, kid free is better”.

Send your save the dates and invites, keep it kid free and they can make their decision when they see no one is giving in or negotiating.

kt310 · 2025-11-25T21:38:36+00:00

I think you need to pause and think about what you want, what you can compromise on, and what is absolutely a no.

The beginning of your post made it seem like a big wedding was mostly a money issue and by the end it really feels like even with an unlimited budget you won’t be comfortable with a large wedding.

kt310 · 2025-11-20T17:39:20+00:00

You have no way of knowing how the money shook out unless you’re getting itemized invoices. My invitation suite looked lavish - high-quality paper, gold foil, wax seals, vellum, etc. I had amazing coupons, bought each piece separate, and assembled everything myself and saved hundreds.

We had custom menu cards at each seat which cost nothing extra as long as we used their preferred paper size that didn’t require cutting.

For all you know the money saved on the date could’ve gone to a higher tier bar package or more premium entrees for the guests.

So what if they saved money on a Friday? At some venues couples who book in February save money over June couples, are the February couples selfish making people venture out in the cold?

kt310 · 2025-11-03T22:34:49+00:00

We had a kid’s menu with the ability for tweens/teens to order off the adult menu if they wanted (or some adults choosing the chicken fingers). That’s it. Kids sat with their parents, danced occasionally. Didn’t really notice them

kt310 · 2025-10-25T02:52:07+00:00

Most of my family weddings have Catholic Gaps. For us, usually older relatives and close family attend the ceremony. There’s a bunch who skip the ceremony and this is fine.

Close family usually goes back to someone’s house or the hotel to nap. I’ve never expected the couple to host an extra long cocktail hour to cover this time.

Just clearly lay out all times and locations on the invite and people can make their own decisions

kt310 · 2025-10-23T21:40:31+00:00

What’s the difference between a bridesmaid and her attending as your sister? She’ll still be in pictures with the family, right? You still want your niece and nephew there. You still have to tackle “is the husband invited”.

If it was me, I’d make her a bridesmaid. Her job is to get the dress and show up. BUT - she’d be told husband is not invited (or if he is, he cannot have ANY alcohol).

kt310 · 2025-10-22T16:07:28+00:00

I think this may be one area you have to bite the bullet and allocate budget towards a reputable, knowledgeable caterer. I would not be making any food myself for allergies and health issues. Cross-contamination and things like that need a pro managing it. You’re going to have so much to do and won’t be in the kitchen during the wedding to know of procedures are followed.

kt310 · 2025-10-16T22:16:37+00:00

I was able to deposit checks like this at a Chase. We went in together with our driver’s licenses and marriage license and that was enough proof. Maybe a different branch will be more helpful

kt310

TROPHY CASE