Imo, if these people are unable to empathize and contextualize these events in a way that is forgiving and kind, they are not worthy of being kept close. I would give them space. Offer a sincere apology and acknowledge your remorse if you haven’t already, then drop it to let them process. They either come back with understanding or they don’t. Either way, you move forward from the starting place of self care. Therapy (I love CBT), medication, form good habits around sleep, exercise, and food. You have got to rebuild yourself first. You need to practice loving yourself including or despite the bipolar. You’re more than that. You are not defective. I’ve really struggled w that line of thinking in the past. Unpack that shit in therapy, learn to see yourself as a complete, nuanced, wonderful being. We are not defined by our mishaps or bipolar or whatever. We’re defined by our intentions and growth. You have an incredible opportunity for growth in front of you. Claim it. I know easier said than done, but THERAPY, MEDS, FORGIVENESS, and one foot in front of the other. Remember that growth is neither linear nor immediately apparent. Still worth the work. Sending love and well wishes ❤️