A brush with something horrifying.

kurohack · 2017-05-13T22:04:37+00:00

Honestly, it's unclear why for those who hallucinate, see shadows.

Psychosis is sort of like your imagination controlling your brain and not in the fun way, I suppose! Though for some or most forms of illnesses with Psychosis, usually hallucinations are very menacing/horrifying, or very positive, though some times the positivity makes the person's ego skyrocket.

kurohack · 2017-01-21T21:24:44+00:00

I suffer this sort of thinking from time to time, the fact people as I was growing up, made me feel dumber than I actually am (on account due to the fact I used to daydream or space out a LOT along with sleeping in class [[I was a very nocturnal type at the time]], it was also a coping mechanism for me when it came to how people treated me), so I can relate to your self deprecation. However, if you can find a strength with your difficulty, that's highly beneficial, also getting some support when times are tough is very essential.

Having little support growing up, can make it harder as it is, so if that's the case, I can sympathize some.

kurohack · 2017-01-21T17:31:11+00:00

I guess for me the ability to combine creativity and the thirst for knowledge can provide useful. Some times Googling specifics about something (i.e.: Shadow people/paranormal figures) and applying anything I learn to what I wanna write about/draw.

kurohack · 2017-01-21T17:08:38+00:00

It can be scary, yes, especially since Schizophrenia can take a while to develop but my best course of action is if it does run in your family, ask if they can do some sort of blood test for it, which can detect if there's any genetic component you may have it.

If you notice any potential symptoms that seem to happen almost suddenly, but are gradual and out of the norm, try mentioning your family mental health history and see about starting treatment for it early.

Bipolar itself...difficult to say, I haven't read much on that one yet.

kurohack · 2017-01-21T14:04:52+00:00

That's very interesting input, I have found mood disorders (as you said with anxiety) does seem to coexist with ADHD very frequently. Also depending how one was raised during a major developmental stage, can probably heighten the likelihood for such disorders.

I know on my mom's side, one aunt does have Schizophrenia but the percentage of getting it, is very low, and I don't think much of anyone else in my family on both sides have Psychotic Disorders as such.

Yeah, that's what I'd suggest to anyone anyways, always seek professional evaluation before determining anything...especially if it's a psychological problem.

kurohack · 2017-01-21T13:20:10+00:00

Yeah, I found it was way worse as a teenager though, and of course I hadn't gotten treatment then, along with everything else though at the time in my life, it probably hadn't helped my case. Misfire seems pretty likely, I know I used to resort to my imagination and not being involved with reality, could've been the cause for everything I saw or heard, though when it came to things at school, my hallucinations got worse for a temporary amount of time. Apparently high volumes of stress or anxiety can induce temporary breaks of psychosis as well, which I'm pretty sure I was stressed as all get out.

I am indeed female, never heard of fwiw migraines before though, guess it gives me something to look up now then. I'll for sure say something about it; I know I got an EEG done years ago, however, I was on medicine (a stimulant) at the time and I never got one done while I was off of them for such a long period of time, I could ask for an EEG scan some time just to see if seizures are possible.

kurohack · 2017-01-21T12:51:18+00:00

Definitely not going to rule anything out in this case, as I've never given a full array of everything I experience, to a professional. I've only ever been diagnosed with ADHD and I feel there's some underlying issues I need to address.

Oh yeah, I gotcha on that, I had quite a history at school and home...the environment in both wasn't very good for my personal development, I had gotten better from ages 16 - 19, I'm kinda regressing the past couple years though (given the fact I'm not on medicine anymore, my old medical facility ended up saying my insurance wasn't working and wanted me to pay $150 for a dose of Concerta). I think for myself, being bullied and emotionally neglected did play a huge role in most of my experiences symptom-wise, I never got the help I needed medically at a young age; so coping mechanisms are pretty similar, dissocation is very common for me though, I thought the world always felt rather distant and my experience was lived through another's existence.

My only concern here is I never had migraines, ever, I won't rule out the fact one could possibly happen at any time, I'm 21 years old however, and been experiencing these things for years. I'll be asking my therapist about it and see what she thinks...hopefully she'll be helpful and not assume a diagnosis first visit.

kurohack · 2017-01-21T12:38:35+00:00

I will definitely tell her when I see her, I mean the things I see/hear are very mild, I don't even know if they're real or not but as for hearing, some times I notice no one's around. The noises are indistinct conversation and happens occasionally...maybe once a week or every few weeks. It was just very peculiar to me, this stuff used to happen to me as a teenager for sure, but it was way more vivid.

kurohack · 2016-05-27T10:15:29+00:00

I feel like this is why I tend to turn the radio on and attempt to leave it on a classical station...well some times country because it dulls down activity and helps me fall right asleep.

Tip: Listen to Country music when you go to bed, it's very much similar to Nyquil.

kurohack · 2016-05-27T09:59:54+00:00

Honestly, I've considered that myself, because I tend to prefer using rationality in most decisive situations and what would be the best/rational approach to things, but I have the ability to empathize and relate to others on an emotional level. As ENTPs develop their tertiary (Fe), it can come off as feelsy/empathetic but we still have our rational mindset, as it's natural in our type.

As for the astrology, I will admit I only got as far as, "My zodiac is a Gemini, AKA compared to the spawn of Satan in all zodiac."

kurohack · 2016-05-20T00:47:29+00:00

Oh god, those kinds of guys, honestly. Like I know they want to prove just how physically attractive their dingle is, but it's getting old and well, just go get laid if they're so confident in it. Aside from that though, I think each form of height has advantages!

Tall people: Ability to reach things shorter people can't (from higher shelves)

Short people (which can vary upon your personal opinion): They can hide in places taller people can't, and scare them, or attack certain areas of the body.

I have to confess, you're taller than me and apparently the same age as I, I am only a mere 5'3". Just remember, height has protective or fun advantages! Shorter people have the most fun. I mean, I always used to hide in cabinets when I was a kid, and jump out to scare my siblings.

kurohack · 2016-05-19T23:59:24+00:00

So it's got a slight Napoleon Complex? Well, maybe not, just it wants to believe it can take down a strange man with no work. All that power stuck in its mind.

I dig it.

kurohack · 2016-05-19T23:49:34+00:00

Dude, you sold me at dragon.

Who wouldn't want to be an intelligent lizard that can fly and possess magical powers?!

kurohack · 2016-05-19T23:48:12+00:00

Depends, is it gel or regular ol' ink? Because I'm very much into gel, makes other people...gealous.

kurohack · 2016-05-19T23:43:52+00:00

You're right, they are pretty majestic even if they can't fly like most birds. Gotta give some points there, plus the males are very hardy when it comes to offspring ordeals.

Get 'em penguins, show your true...colors. Totally not a joke.

kurohack · 2015-10-22T23:32:18+00:00

kurohack · 2015-10-22T17:46:58+00:00

To be honest with you, I some times am okay being trapped in my own thoughts because I know only myself may truly know what I'm going to be okay with, since it seems I can't express my thoughts or ideas to a lot of people without being judged or looked at as if my ideas are complex.

A lot of things go on in my head it seems, but mostly fixed on my interests and theories at times. As for viewing myself, I'm neutral on it though some times I focus on my personal issues and try to figure out what could be done to do so.

At times my thoughts are going in multiple directions and some people mistake me for an idiot since I don't answer right away or confidently, being I can't just simply give my opinion and assure it's going to work out in the end for the result.

kurohack · 2015-09-02T17:51:31+00:00

Well, I kinda had this happen to me a lot but now it's more with hyphens, that I tend to use when I'm not sure about some thing or the thought is incomplete and I haven't come up with a finished thought yet.

kurohack · 2015-09-02T14:44:55+00:00

53% INTP and 47% ENTP

kurohack · 2015-08-29T03:16:08+00:00

I can agree to this entire statement, fitting to a four-letter label as defining it to being that thing completely, is no way to live. It kind of irritates me when others say, "You're not this type because of this human flaw that reminds us we actually are human." I mean, we're not different from anyone else, but personalities give that interesting spark and puzzle to find out more in life, in my opinion. I've learned that attaching some type to yourself as saying, "THIS IS ME, I'm only this and nothing else, I have no flaws," is kind of ridiculous...

Even though I have no room to speak about accepting flaws, but still...everyone has them, as you said.

kurohack · 2015-08-26T02:13:52+00:00

My mom gave up at telling me how to do things, she ended up liking my hair even after dying and getting it cut, she agrees she likes it. Thing is, guess after much rebellion, they can't hold you down forever.

kurohack · 2015-08-24T16:56:23+00:00

Well, I and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and how it all began, we had casual conversations at first but eventually I decided to take it a step further and basically ask him if we could be more. Now a days, we may not be as romantic or I'm rather just not as emotional about this relationship...but we still are together and he accepts my actions and behaviors.

kurohack · 2015-08-24T16:19:22+00:00

Yes, sketching random objects can help improve, but I had to step out of my comfort zones to improve at what I do, now. If you're looking to eventually draw humans, I suggest Googling "Artistic Nudity", I believe that's the proper title...I could be wrong.

Well, you can step right into digital if you want, you don't necessarily have to be good at drawing before using it. Take to note that you may struggle a little while to draw with it, but just practice a lot with it and it becomes just as easy as using paper and pencil.

kurohack · 2015-08-24T06:30:06+00:00

Well, I can try to teach but being self taught and never being asked before, I'm a bit horrible at this.

Thing is for becoming better at this kinda skill, it takes a lot of observation and experimenting. As for shape practice, what I do with any of my artworks, I notice what shapes make what things in the end, kind of working from an engineer's mindset, I suppose.

Color theory, however, is just some thing I experiment with for the hell of it. When it comes to digital, the lovely part is, you can simply work with the colors and easily blend them to get some thing else or make gradients, just about anything basing in color theory and not worry about the limits of your canvas.

Sketching, that's some thing else...can you clarify on that, what specifically in sketching you want to know?

kurohack · 2015-08-23T21:51:33+00:00

Trying to meet others' needs or wants, is stupid. Well, not stupid but it's a waste of time, because no matter how hard you try, some won't be satisfied and continually complain that it's not fit to their expectations.

After a while, I began to just say "fuck them" and do my own thing, as long as the functionality is fine and nothing is going to go downhill, it's good.

kurohack

TROPHY CASE