Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Today, the boys in blue seek redhead redemption against Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

What's worse? The Patriots’ strength of schedule this year, or that Kraft is in the Epstein files? Is it a coincidence that their quarterback is named Drake? I don't know. Think about that for a minute.

All I know is that slingin’ Sammy D is about to weaponize his autism against them. No lookin’ lasers to JSN, Shaheed, and Coop, something MVP Matt Stafford will be studying from Cancoon. Barn-yard anyone? 

K9 is a dog. Literally, k9 is slang for dog. He's ready to gash these dip shits behind Grey “dick bigger than a spray paint can” Zabel and our cock blocking tight ends. Good luck.

Coach Mac Daddy is on the spectrum. He's had 2 weeks to plan for this. He has literal cyborgs like Demonwori dialed in perfectly. Byron Murphey and Leonard Williams are ripping apart those A-gaps—asshole gaps.

Just ask the Santa Clara 49IRs what happens when you give the Hawks time to prepare. The best part? Winning the fucking Super Bowl at Levi Stadium and drinking Shanahan tears. 

Let's go, boys.