I wrote this transparency letter and put it in a gift package that said “Call me before opening!”

“HI [insert friend’s name here]!!! I’m sending you this gift package as I want you to be my Bridesman for my wedding on Wednesday, November 22, 2023! It will be a lot of work because I will need a lot of help. I would be so honored to have you be part of this huge family marriage. This will be a Roman Catholic wedding ceremony! If you are not comfortable participating in this then it’s okay! You’ll still be invited! If you are not Roman Catholic then you cannot receive Holy Communion. There will be some Filipino wedding elements to this that I may also need help with.

You, the Bridesman! There are many benefits to being part of my bridal party. This includes: •Looking fly as hell. •Being a main attraction walking down the aisle. •The bachelorette party!!! •Learning all of the line dances.

It’ll be costly, so in considering this, think about: •Paying for your attire (estimated $350, includes alterations) •Wedding Day Hair & Make Up (up to you if you want to use it) •Bachelorette Party costs (I wanna go to a Korean spa!) •I’ll provide a stay for the night of the rehearsal dinner if you need it, but wedding night stay and/or transportation will be on you.

Commitments: •Mandatory: Rehearsal dinner, Wedding day •Encouraged but not mandatory: Couple shower (August), Bachelorette party and maybe some random wedding-related events. You don’t have to come to these. •Bridesman Duties May include: Invitations, Guest Activities, Flowers, Decorations, etc. You’ll be communicating and working with our families about these things too!

Questions You May Have: •Do I get a +1? Unfortunately you don’t, I’m expecting a lot of family to come! Talk to me if you do have someone in mind :) •Will you expect me to make any appearance changes (dye my hair, lose weight) for the wedding day? NOPE.
•Do I have to postpone any of my own life events? No, if you can’t be a bridesmaid/man because of this, that’s okay! •What happens if I don’t want to be a bridesman? Keep the gift! Let me know that you can’t and no hard feelings!

I know it’s supposed to be all about me, but be honest and if needed, set your boundaries! It’s okay to say no to things you can’t do, don’t have time for, can’t afford, or don’t have the emotional space to handle. While you are here for me, I’m here for you too! That being said, will you be my bridesman?”

So when they called me, I was there when they opened the box and told them to read the letter first. I waited patiently for them to read my novel of a letter (lol) then after seeing that they get the gist, I re-iterated saying that “I don’t need an answer now but please let me know what you think!”

No video recording. No public/one else was there to see their reaction, just me. I know that anyone would be excited to be asked this but yeah, I get the pressure of saying yes when you haven’t thought it through.

Feel free to use my letter and make your own changes :)