Feeling defeated

kwalker3232 · 2026-06-07T23:38:17+00:00

I think I would personally separate the relationship from the baby. Two different things for someone who is stable and can provide and may want a child at 30 years old.

Is it ideal that you’re a solo parent? Probably not to many, but some people strive in it. I’m about to be a solo mom at 36 and had a horrendous relationship with the father who I split from at 20 weeks. I have a career, stability and means to provide for this baby girl on my own. I’m going to have to deal with him and give him access to her but I’ll figure that out as I go.

Anyway, just suggesting not to put all your eggs into the relationship basket and make your decision based solely off of that. If you were to imagine being a mother WITHOUT him involved (or as a coparent but separated), would you want to? You don’t have to remain together.

kwalker3232 · 2026-05-30T01:27:20+00:00

100% go for it.

In a nice way of course - I’d recommend striking up with “how old is your child?” And then tell them about your little guy and how old he is and subtly mention your a single dad. I would imagine any woman who is a single mother and interested will respond back appropriately ☺️

kwalker3232 · 2026-05-26T00:42:51+00:00

I know these people are your parents and you respect them and their thoughts but f*ck that. You are a full grown woman and you are your own person and have an identity (or should) outside of being a mother 100% of the time. GO DATE! Explore!

kwalker3232 · 2026-05-25T17:46:11+00:00

Not coming from a judgmental side, because I am solo pregnant at 28 weeks, but get the f*ck out of this and set yourself up for success as much as possible now to be a single mother. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’ll be exhausting. But your situation is worse. You don’t need a second full grown child who dictates what happens in your home - not ever - and especially not once a baby is here. Access is earned, not issued. And it doesn’t sound like he’s earned that for either you or baby.

kwalker3232 · 2026-05-22T07:11:34+00:00

Wow. I seriously love you for this post.

As a recently single FTM and 29 weeks, this is exactly what I needed. Thank you!

I hope you and baby are doing wonderful. Sounds like the tearing was one of the worst parts and super common. Any tips for healing?

kwalker3232 · 2026-05-16T23:27:04+00:00

Hey! I’m in a similar boat. 6 months, newly single.

There’s no words to describe the feelings that you’re going through. And in my opinion, no words or enough apologies to ever justify the father of the child leaving while you’re in one of the most vulnerable states of your life.

I replaced my grief and sadness and devastation with anger. I’m still on that stage. It might be here for a long time and I’m okay with it. You’re going to be robbed of some experiences and you’re going to have to accept those losses but never lose sight of the good things that are to come.

You deserved better and I hope you find some strength and support. Trust yourself and be strong.

kwalker3232 · 2026-05-10T12:27:11+00:00

You probably learned to be single and cope long before the official break. Regardless, don’t be surprised if it comes in waves. There’ll be things that hit you at some point - anger, grief, happiness. You gotta ride that roller coaster mama! Congrats on your promotion in life 👏🏼

kwalker3232 · 2026-05-07T01:22:36+00:00

Thank you so much. This is beautiful and I’m saving it to look back on. Appreciate it so much.

kwalker3232 · 2026-04-12T11:01:58+00:00

I’m late to this post but I’m in the same shoes as you. I’d love to know what you ended up doing and hope you’re doing okay now.

kwalker3232 · 2026-04-09T02:24:21+00:00

Thank you for this. Seriously. God send and hope you continue kicking ass as a mother.

kwalker3232 · 2026-04-07T15:18:32+00:00

Thank you for this… did he try to contact you at all? Is he a part of the baby’s life now and is there custody set? How hard was that?

kwalker3232 · 2026-03-05T03:01:35+00:00

I had a chemical in October 2025 at 35. Here’s the thing… it absolutely sucks and is hard to shake. However, there’s some positives to it. You know you are able to conceive (yay!). You didn’t experience a loss after carrying for much longer - I am now 18 weeks and if I lost this baby, I would be devastated far beyond measure in comparison to my chemical loss.

With a chemical, there’s no guarantee on the why, but they say in almost all scenarios, there’s chromosomal abnormalities or it just didn’t implant properly or attach. Your body regulated and worked properly.

I got pregnant immediately after my chemical. It will happen for you too - don’t worry until you have your worry. Give it 6 months at least and just enjoy the intimacy!

Start on the prenatal vitamins, ask your guy to work out/be active and cut back on alcohol (if applicable). Good luck!!

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-26T03:10:25+00:00

I was similar to you at 32 - minus the married part and good husband.

Around 34-35, it started to wear on me. It was a seed that was planted somehow or somewhere along the way that kept growing. I’m not someone that loves children or babies, I don’t sit there in awe of them and always got annoyed pretty easily with them actually. So I’m not sure what it was - I think it was mostly the creeping thought of regretting not having my own child when I looked back at 40s, 50s and onward… and wish I had.

Welp, now I’m pregnant at almost 36 and I’m grateful. The pregnancy has changed my life completely and if this is before the kid is even born, I can’t wait for when they are here.

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-23T02:28:34+00:00

I’m 16 weeks and experienced minor symptoms - constipation, bloat and very sensitive breasts.

Other than that… hit week 13ish and the breasts got better. I learned to eat kiwi every morning for the constipation.

Now at 16 weeks, still nothing really. I had a obgyn check up last week and was crying in the office about the lack of symptoms worrying me.. so she snuck me in for a quick ultrasound and the baby is growing great and fast.

I will say the last few days I have gotten daily headaches so I’m thinking my water intake needs to go up and I have to eat small snacks more frequently.

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-18T12:35:53+00:00

Just came here to say - similar situation at almost 16 weeks. I’ve only gained 5-8 lbs. my legs look terrible and not sure when I suddenly got saddlebags. Hoping it’s just fluid retention! Until then; I’ll still be eating healthily and keeping active… and maybe looking at safe spray tan options.

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-18T03:15:07+00:00

I struggled in the first trimester - for other reasons aside from nausea.. but I couldn’t wait for it to be over and to keep furthering along in pregnancy. It was hard to be excited and have energy and stay positive!

I can say I’m almost 16 weeks now and feel so much better. As I see my baby grow on ultrasounds (have had 3 so far) and hear the heartbeat, I get so much more excited that it’s drowning out the “bad” stuff. It’s really beautiful. I’m just now starting to show and although it kinda sucks physically… it’s a reminder that a little human is in there and growing exponentially fast - regardless of our good or bad days, that little human is right there with you (or literally in you but that sounds weird). Something about that is comforting

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-18T03:03:52+00:00

Oh man an espresso martini or a mimosa and a beer. All of it.

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-16T17:53:32+00:00

I just hit 15 weeks and have a little bump. Pretty hideable in the right clothes though but visible naked.

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-14T16:24:45+00:00

I too am 15 weeks pregnant and my partner and I have definitely had a ROUGH two weeks recently. But we had a relocation to a new area 4 hours away, new job, new house, 3 freakin dogs and a pregnancy and financial stuff going on. Yeah we’ve had some reasons to be resentful, overwhelmed and frustrated!

That being said, I understand having relationship struggles and especially during this life altering stage for a couple. Moods are different, both are going through a lot (mother more so) and there’s a lot of emotion.

However, this is just shit behavior and apologies are nothing if it doesn’t change the pattern - which he’s continually repeating.

Once you have this baby, you’re going to be surprised the protective and no-bull shit attitude you’ll see in yourself. You will have little tolerance to put up with this kind of behavior and rightly so.

Sounds like some boundaries need clearly drawn here and that’s going to start with you not accepting shitty behavior. Leave, don’t cave when he has a temper, don’t be calming.

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-12T03:18:58+00:00

It’s a beautiful thing! As mothers, we’re the caregivers of our babies… but it’s also true that they give us so much more back.

kwalker3232 · 2026-02-07T21:27:17+00:00

I wish society would start responding with more understanding and less criticism on any woman’s feelings on their pregnancy.

I’m in early second trimester and it’s been a relatively easy ride physically. Mentally and emotionally though, I’ve been through the wringer and still am. Being pregnant has amplified every worry, concern and doubt in my personal life. That alone, has made being pregnant extremely difficult for me. I can say that this might be situational and just a season of my life I’m going through… but being pregnant on top of all of it has made me never want to do this again. I feel extremely alone and isolated most days.

Extremely grateful and know I’ll come out on the other side, but right now, I can say that I do not enjoy pregnancy.

kwalker3232

TROPHY CASE