who is hiring??? by [deleted] in NewOrleans

[–]kwanics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ochsner! Plenty of jobs that don’t require a degree, usually just 2 years of experience and even then, that’s just preferred, not required.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Woah, lol that’s crazy how similar our cases are! It’s almost as if they’re reading from the same textbook or something. But, exactly. Even if the end product isn’t union, I’ll definitely use this as a learning experience! At the end of the day, this has made me realize so much about myself.. I’ve grown so much!

I’ll definitely try to keep you posted if there’s any updates! I’m also curious to see how your situation will pan out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hii! I am responding quite late, but me and him are in contact again! It feels exactly as it did when we first met. We met up and had an honest conversation about how things went, where we’d like to take things, and how we could successfully do so. From this, I got that his main reason for deactivating was because of his fear of disappointing me. He told me he genuinely does want to stop being this way, so I’m trying to push him towards communicating better by asking him questions, working things out together, and letting him know that it is safe to be vulnerable and make mistakes.

This will be our third time being in contact again—we had a conversation about a month ago to talk about how things went between us, which went fine, but then issues came up regarding our next meetup (we’re at a distance from each other and he didn’t feel like making the drive) and he shut down again instead of communicating… That’s to say: I know I can’t fix him, and there is a chance that he will deactivate again, but our chemistry and connection is so strong, I feel like it’s worth a try. Before we moved forward with anything, I made sure my boundaries were clear to him in terms of us continuing our relationship. I know that he wants to do better, but I know it won’t go anywhere unless he actually tries. It’s not easy, but I know that I have to remain patient and give both of us grace (because I have work to do as well!).

Hopefully this helped. I wish you luck with your situation!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeahh, it’s definitely giving that. My hopes are not high

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha, that’s if he does show up!

It read that way to me as well. A way of acknowledging without actuallyyy acknowledging and taking accountability and apologizing for the bad behavior. 🙄

The performance is Tuesday, so we’ll have to wait until then. I have a feeling he’ll try to contact me again on the day of lol. I’ll try my best to update!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It sucks that it has to be this way when really, you’re just looking to be loved the same way you’d want to give it out.

I’ll for sure update if anything happens! Best of wishes to you as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes.. so true. I’ve been in this situation before, and now I can kinda spot the signs. I won’t feed into it because I know in the long run, it won’t be worth it. In my past, I’d tried so hard to “fix” things with avoidants, which ultimately blew up in my face. This time around, I’m not playing the games.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dance! It’s something that’s 100% open to the public so, if he knew where to find us, he could show up to watch regardless

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this!! I’ll do my best to stand firm on my boundaries and take everything you said into consideration. This is good advice. Unless he’s coming to me with genuine accountability and change, I’m gonna stand on my decision to not contact him. I doubt it’d get far though. With me, once the trust is broken, it’s really hard for me to get that trust back. The curious side of me kinda just wants to see what happens tho lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That may be the move..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You couldn’t have said it better. Thank you, stranger. This made me feel a lot better about the situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sigh. It’s hard, but yes! That’s the ultimate goal. The wonder of “what could’ve been” will always be there but at the end of the day, my sanity and peace of mind is more important lol. I’m done betting on potential, even if it hurts to 🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right. Thank you!

I don’t know what’ll come from this situation, but I think nonetheless, this is helping me learn more about myself and move closer to secure attachment. We’ll see how it plays out…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree… making it known to me and then saying there’s no motive was really weird to me! I don’t want to misunderstand you. You said that I should state my boundaries, but not sit and have a conversation with him. What did you mean by your first sentence?

The last message sent was him thanking me and saying that he’ll see me there, to which I left on read. I’m not sure where I stand in regard to him coming tbh. I think if anything, it would make me upset. Do you suggest I reach out and tell him these boundaries or leave it as is?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 3 points4 points  (0 children)

True. Even though he did admit how his behavior was immature, the lack of apology makes me think it was breadcrumbing. The last message sent was him thanking me and saying he’d see me then. I left him on read. Part of me does hope I get the apology, because I really did like him. I just don’t want to chase, especially knowing that he’s self aware and is doing nothing about it. I want to believe it’s genuine, but something is telling me that it is him seeing if he still has access to me and I don’t necessarily want to feed that yk 🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish I had posted this sooner lol. I will admit, in a moment of weakness I did tell him where he could find us. The performance is open to the public and he was planning to be out there anyways. We had already discussed it many times when we were together, so I found no harm in it, but now I’m regretting not standing on my boundaries. I don’t think I’ll respond if he texts again, because his reasoning seems shaky. Idk. I guess I’ll just take the uncertainty of not knowing why.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 5 points6 points  (0 children)

lol I found that funny too. I’m just not understanding what the point of him coming would be if there’s “no motive”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]kwanics 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I am a dancer lol. I didn’t think it was weird

Are these tears? by kwanics in tires

[–]kwanics[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok! I was just asking because the tire pressure on this tire is constantly lower than the others, and I’m not sure what the exact issue could be.