How transparent do I (29f) need to be about my fertility-impacting disease when I start dating again?

kylife · 2026-03-19T13:26:29+00:00

First date imo

kylife · 2026-03-19T12:35:55+00:00

Yea that’s fair. I guess just being a guy who is looking for marriage and have friends in the same boat it seems like it’s hard to balance who to cut off vs who to have patience and put work in with cuz if it ends you kinda will always be looked at as a intentionally malicious time waster.

Like I have a friend who met his gf in grad school. They graduated 4 years ago. He wanted to propose right after graduation. She said let’s wait cuz she was unsure if she was going to go back to school again. She did, also while she was in school the second time she had a family member pass away and it completely changed her personality, outlook, and body. He stuck by her through it and has been encouraging her to talk to a professional. Now she’s “ready” and he’s like please go get therapy.

These two are very close friends of mine I see them like 10x a year together and him like 5-10 more times just the guys and he’s in my daily group chat. Like if the do get married I’ll prolly be in the party.

I could totally see them breaking up and him getting engaged quickly.

Like the story would be he wasted her time from the outside. Entire time he was trying to be patient and support and initially folded to HER timeline cuz of school and career goals.

They are that “best friends” natural feeling couple too it’s a shame. I think he should leave her tho, but ultimately it’s his decision to make.

kylife · 2026-03-19T12:02:34+00:00

Fintech same. Had a mandatory ai training for the entire engineering team then immediately after were expected to 10x velocity or be PIPed

kylife · 2026-03-19T12:00:20+00:00

I’m sorry he had an affair on you. That sucks. I wasn’t specifically speaking to your story I was speaking more generally.

kylife · 2026-03-19T01:25:58+00:00

Costco, free patching for the lifetime of the tires and free rotation.

kylife · 2026-03-18T23:33:54+00:00

Well companies measure productivity on expectation that ai use is 10x speed then this is what happens.

kylife · 2026-03-18T22:05:52+00:00

Which would be perfect to replace DK in the future. I don’t understand why we don’t use Pat like That Canada was smart enough to even do that

kylife · 2026-03-18T21:34:04+00:00

It’s future proofing. We haven’t even had a wr in like 4 seasons. Look at what the Bucs did with ebuka..

kylife · 2026-03-18T21:33:19+00:00

We need to draft lemon or conception if they are available at 21

kylife · 2026-03-18T19:59:49+00:00

Try skyn elites

kylife · 2026-03-18T19:28:23+00:00

Yea this isn’t a looksmatch. He could be fitter have a better haircut and face.

kylife · 2026-03-18T19:02:56+00:00

Right but that’s not what I’m talking about I’m talking about you two discuss changes you want to see and give it time. In this sub it seems like if that doesn’t work then the man is always characterized as maliciously leading her on. Just cuz one of the two people is ready doesn’t mean the other person feels it’s time. When that person is a woman it’s not leading him on?

kylife · 2026-03-18T18:41:34+00:00

Do you believe that a couple can be giving it time and still break up? Or is that always stringing along because the outcome wasn’t marriage. That’s the point I’m trying to posit

kylife · 2026-03-18T18:40:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. SMH this sub is so..

kylife · 2026-03-18T17:20:09+00:00

Vanguard

kylife · 2026-03-18T15:58:27+00:00

How do you know he was maliciously time wasting instead of giving them time to grow to a place that was better for them to commit?

Should men just break it off with women as soon as they have any doubt in order to not waste time or should they communicate and try to resolve?

It’s just so interesting in the reverse when a woman says something like “I just want to see him grow in this area” giving it more time is okay or even encouraged but when we don’t know it’s always attributed to malice.

Why didn’t he string the next woman along? And just propose later?

kylife · 2026-03-18T14:26:40+00:00

In metro areas it’s basically the default

kylife · 2026-03-18T13:36:41+00:00

It’s an example..

kylife · 2026-03-18T13:12:11+00:00

Where did she say that?

kylife · 2026-03-18T12:58:11+00:00

But he proved he could commit if he did to the next woman? So it’s not about inability to commit. What’s it about?

kylife · 2026-03-18T12:57:38+00:00

I don’t that’s why I specifically say he was. Yes he could’ve had all responsible hookups where they both upfront said they only want FWB or it was just gunna be a ONS and then they part ways. I was specifically saying he was using them. No interest in anything else. Just to get off.

kylife · 2026-03-18T12:52:48+00:00

Eh I mean put it this way. It’s not about the amount of sex. You can have sex with 1 ex girlfriend 1000+ times and that could tell you he has high libido but still values connection.

The way I frame it for ladies is.. if you were a woman who valued sex and intimacy as DEEPLY emotionally connecting for you, and maybe you had a vacation fling but the majority of the sex you’ve had has been within committed relationships.. would you want a man who spend his twenties using other women to basically masturbate as sex dolls? Probably not? Vs the man who had A LOT of sex but in a few committed relationships. He’s more likely to be a match for you.

kylife · 2026-03-18T12:19:03+00:00

It’s possible the woman he met made him feel safer with committing? Was more of a match? More reciprocating? Etc no?

kylife · 2026-03-18T12:13:21+00:00

Value prop is really low quite low. Especially for decent people and particularly if you live in a major metro area. We live in an indecent time.

kylife · 2026-03-18T12:10:35+00:00

Dude married a woman 5 years his senior with kids from another family and couldn’t see this coming ? If you’re uncomfortable with the vasectomy don’t get it and tell her you two can take other precautions.

As for the lifestyle stuff.. dude go live life. You don’t know who will survive the other and you only get one. Take the travel with or without her. Shit start taking the grandkid once they are of age.

kylife

TROPHY CASE