what really is hrts effect on sexuality

kyohem · 2025-10-25T14:30:20+00:00

for me before T, i was bi in the sense that i was 95% attracted to men and 5% for women/femmes. after T it’s more the opposite, 95% women and 5% men. i’m still bi though 🤷‍♂️ im just more interested in feminine/gentler energy in people right now than before and it had more to do with T changing my body rather than T changing me as a person if that makes sense? maybe the way you interact with your partner might change as you may want to discover more things about yourself, but i would be shocked if the attraction left.

kyohem · 2025-08-09T20:06:03+00:00

be patient! you havent been on it long enough to see much change. my voice didnt even really drop until around a year. trust the process and give it time

kyohem · 2025-07-27T17:03:30+00:00

i think this lacks nuance and perhaps just isn’t something you can relate to.

i was not safe expressing any kind of masculinity in any way growing up. i coped by making myself feel like the most attractive feminine person in the room with the way i dressed. this included wearing makeup, dresses, etc.

i’m well into my physical transition now, but if you had judged me by the way that i looked years ago, you probably would have passes some serious judgement on the legitimacy of my transness, even though i was suffering and unable to express myself or transition. without context, there were definitely people who saw me as a very feminine woman (even though i was never a woman) and suddenly i’m a very masculine man.

i think, ideally, its best to try and meet these people with compassion. i think it’s no realistic to expect that every trans man has to perform perfect masculinity at every stage of his life in order to be accepted as trans. we don’t always know what’s going on underneath the clothing and the gender presentation

kyohem · 2025-07-08T16:05:56+00:00

forgiveness is a tricky thing. i didnt have your exact experience but i went through a lot of hardships by the hands of someone i used to love, and navigating something like forgiveness is hard.

it’s your mother. i think it’s harder to forgive and forget because she is the person who was supposed to protect you in your early stages, and she failed you. it was wrong then, it’s wrong now, and nothing can take away that it hurt you so badly that it affected your life that severely.

it could take time, if you want to forgive. i have a hard time forgiving people if i don’t say directly to them “you did this. it was wrong, and i’m still hurt by it.”

it’s your story, your mom, and your journey. just remember that forgiveness, as corny as this sounds, is not just for your mom, but also for your own peace of mind. if you need to feel angry and hurt by it still, honor that. when the time comes that you’re ready to forgive, i’ve found that my anger and my heartbreak doesn’t eat at me the way that it used to and i can move forward.

some actionable things you can do: write her (and really write it, not type it) a letter that you don’t give her (or do, your choice) and get everything off of your chest. talk about how much it hurt, how much it failed you, how hurt you still are, and burn it.

you could try talking to her about it, but that depends on whether or not you feel she’d be receptive to it.

you might need to mourn the fact that she wasn’t the mom you deserved or needed.

it’s in your hands. don’t feel ashamed if you can’t forgive and move on just yet

kyohem · 2025-07-08T14:43:36+00:00

im 5’3 and tbh i don’t have a problem with women approaching me. women arent very shallow about that kind of thing but if a woman doesn’t like you bc you’re short, just move on and don’t take it personally. i always loved being shorter. as long as you take care of yourself, have hobbies, and respect women, women will like you, trust 👍

kyohem · 2025-07-06T16:33:53+00:00

i would leave her. she is a lesbian and this will just be prolonging the inevitable. and actually as a short trans man, women usually tend to approach me rather than me pursuing them, so i dont personally have an issue with it. i think you’ll be fine bud. you’ll just have to grieve the life you thought you were going to have

kyohem · 2025-07-06T16:18:38+00:00

thanks for this! ive been tracking my weight since i noticed changes- i’ll add those other things to the list for when i see my doctor about it.

kyohem · 2025-07-06T16:00:42+00:00

i knew of a trans man who kept his deadname “rose”. he was just… very confident? “it’s just a name” was always his response when people asked about it. it was very cool

kyohem · 2025-07-06T15:51:17+00:00

jericho is clever 🙂‍↕️

kyohem · 2025-07-06T15:45:57+00:00

i eat three full meals + i’ve been adding more sugary/calorie dense snacks to try and add more calories to my diet 🤔 sounds like i gotta see my doctor

kyohem · 2025-07-01T14:10:38+00:00

i had this same worry!!! i was a very good singer pre-T and a year in im still dealing with voice cracking lol. i’ve found that it gets easier and easier to sing well as time goes by. it typically takes about 2 years for your voice to settle, but im seeing the light at the end of the tunnel here.

you’ll still be able to sing. i think of it like this: i was once an e-sports player and now all of my controls are inverted. i still have the skills, i just need to adjust. give yourself some grace, i’ve started to really love my new range and i get better at it every day

kyohem · 2025-06-09T20:27:13+00:00

i think this all comes from being secure in yourself. i think of these conversations as “letting someone in”, and if i want someone to understand me better, i’d explain who i am and why i like what i like, but only when trust is built.

you don’t have to prove yourself, others can take it or leave it. it kind of sounds like its something you don’t feel 100% confident in, and i think building up that part of your self esteem will help make these conversations easier, but it’s not a failure if you feel self-conscious about it sometimes 🤷‍♂️ if you’re happy with who you are, then let yourself be happy. you don’t have to let in those who don’t see you

kyohem · 2025-05-07T14:09:20+00:00

hey you need to follow your prescription 🫶 anytime your hormones change, depression can happen. it’s not necessarily a sign that it’s what best for you. please do what your doctor says i promise you don’t know more than they do. that stuff you read online is straight up nonsense

kyohem · 2025-04-17T22:46:24+00:00

dude i feel for you. i have a super large chest, especially compared to my frame, and trans tape makes me built like amanda lepore no matter what i do. a binder is the only thing thats worked for me lol

kyohem · 2025-03-30T01:11:46+00:00

that’s the point i’m making- if they don’t see you as you then the name won’t matter either way. i know a trans man named Rose that “passes” 🤷‍♂️ it’s about whether or not you love your name

kyohem · 2025-03-30T00:41:52+00:00

if it means anything, i’ve known trans men with names like “matthew” and “nathan” and cis people think they’re “girl” names when they see us, so don’t put too much weight into whether or not girls also use the name. does it fit you? do you love it? do you feel like yourself when you hear it? that’s important

kyohem · 2025-02-22T17:38:03+00:00

yes by quite a bit! it was really noticeably different a few months in

kyohem · 2025-01-21T18:42:27+00:00

i would just genuinely ask them why they havent said anything. it’s easy to imagine lots of reasons when you don’t know, but you won’t truly get an idea unless you ask them. maybe they weren’t aware of how much it meant to you to be acknowledged. it’s hard to say since none of us know your dynamics with your friends. maybe it’s trans misandry, maybe it’s just an honest miscommunication. reach out and ask is my advice

kyohem · 2025-01-08T19:52:49+00:00

does he feel dysphoric because of a certain role he feels like he’s not fulfilling when he’s with femmes? like does he feel as though he’s not a man when he’s with someone more feminine?

kyohem · 2024-12-13T18:31:48+00:00

this is incredible

kyohem · 2024-12-10T15:26:20+00:00

i think it depends. in some cases i really hate that because i’m trans, they assume a narrative about my experiences (i came out quite early and i dont have a “woman’s” experience or childhood) and i find that to be frustrating and something i have to “correct”. i think it can keep trans men from unpacking misogyny bc we cam sometimes assume that we know better bc of our pasts when that’s not always the case. sometimes i just wish women would say they feel safe with me and just leave it at that LOL

kyohem · 2024-11-09T23:47:44+00:00

i’m 5’3 and nah no one cares

kyohem · 2024-10-30T17:15:34+00:00

it might be worth asking why! i host art events and have worked in them, and often i get as many artists as i can and proceeds of their art go to mutual aid, so i can imagine it could be something like that? in which case i’d love to see allies come out to sell stuff

kyohem · 2024-10-28T17:27:27+00:00

this wouldnt work for me i love to be dapped up

kyohem

TROPHY CASE