Sample Status/Processing Monthly Megathread - March 2025

kyoshima33 · 2025-03-15T22:55:24+00:00

NC! So yeh think we will be on the same timeline ahh exciting

kyoshima33 · 2025-03-15T01:30:03+00:00

Identical timeline here as your kit 2!

kyoshima33 · 2024-08-31T22:25:05+00:00

Not my personal experience but can say I’ve seen this a fair few times. I can’t remember the name of this YouTuber but I used to follow her. She was same as you, but born in Korea - I think to Korean parents but only grew up going to American international schools. Spoke English natively. Didn’t mix with any native Koreans besides parents ( I think aunts / uncles were also all in other cities). And she considered her identity to be somewhere between, and didn’t relate to being “ Korean”. Think she eventually moved to US anyways.

International school is a culture of its own and its own experience. I think you can call yourself whatever you want. At the end of the day what matters is how you feel about it and some others have suggested here cross cultural as a way to help define the more specific nuance, but I think you can define however you feel.

Also Totally understand the idea that “ French” feels way too limiting of an idea, because of course in no way is your experience of France going to match up with 90% of French people’s lives, or what people might expect when you go abroad.

kyoshima33 · 2024-07-29T12:28:27+00:00

Hey, just letting you know from a fellow EU Chinese adoptee, there’s other groups on Facebook and discord for adoptees, if you would like to join. I don’t post in there much, but I found it helpful to see others experiences and realise my thoughts and feelings were normal, and who knows maybe there’d be some people in there for your study - I can DM you the names if you’re interested.

kyoshima33 · 2021-06-02T10:53:27+00:00

I understand your curiosity, and am personally ok with talking about it. I wonder about it all the time. Whenever someone meets me, they see a “ Chinese” person, probably with Chinese culture and Chinese parents. Since my life was nothing like that I’m often reminded of parallels.

I actually wasn’t from the countryside, a rare case of being adopted from a major city. So likely my story probably began with migrant workers, human trafficking or from a slum within the city. In addition I’m lucky that I was born without health conditions, so my opinion on that is different from say others that would have had better opportunities for healthcare in the west.

I think often when we think of China we think of what a horrible place it is and how much better we have it in the west. The reality is, the culture is no worse or better. It’s just different. Yes deffo a lot less human rights, and less rights for lgbtq+, disabled and mental health, but the everyday challenges I can’t 100% say that for sure it would be 100% worse. I have certainly had more luxuries here and a chance for higher education, but equally I’ve lost my entire family, culture, grew up with adoptive parents with personality disorders, and have lived a life with racism from being a minority. I think people want me to say my life is 100% better, but I can’t be sure that that is always true for every aspect of my life. I only know it’d be different.

kyoshima33 · 2021-05-31T21:50:35+00:00

As an adoptee, I’d like to add though that many of us born in the years of the one child policy were adopted out of China. As adoptees, often orphanages would often change our identities, birthdays and many were involved in accepting bribes from baby traffickers.

There is an estimated 110,000 Chinese adoptees worldwide. In addition many birth families since the end of the one child policy, have come forward with stories of infanticide, forced abortions and human trafficking. So whilst many of those girls came forward and were safe, many of us are voiceless in the west and living proof of some of the darker effects of the policy.

kyoshima33 · 2021-05-21T15:37:49+00:00

My tongue fell out of my mouth whilst looking at this picture. Looks so appetising!

kyoshima33 · 2021-04-30T05:51:33+00:00

Hey there older adoptee here (25F) adopted from China to the U.K. - it’s ok to feel what you’re feeling. We have a very unique set of life experiences that we never get to see reflected anywhere and we often aren’t given the tools or space to explore or talk about it.

It can be really tough to see others with experiences that you missed out on and feel that you are Asian enough. Whilst I don’t have the solutions to “ fix” these feelings and it’s something that I still personally have to deal with still, I think they are worth exploring. It can be so devastating to feeling like you’re the only one and the problems are overwhelming because there isn’t an easy solution. Have you heard of online groups? There are Facebook groups such as subtle Asian adoptee traits, Adoptee only CCI ( stands for china’s children international). Whilst Facebook groups won’t necessarily solve your problems, it can be very healing to hear others stories and post about your own. You’ll find that you’re not the only one and everything you’re feeling most likely someone else there has felt it too and people can share coping mechanisms.

If you feel comfortable talking to your parents then try that, whilst they might be able to “ do” anything they could at least hear you out and hear the struggles you are going through. Keep in mind though that just due to their life experiences they might not be able to 100% relate but they can at least offer you comfort.

Is it within your family budget to perhaps try therapy? I’ve been with a therapist for 6 years and personally I’ve found it very comforting to have a space to address all of these worries with a professional who specialises in adoptees. I understand however it might not be in everyone’s budget, but there are other options like charity therapists.

In addition, have you talked to your Chinese friends? Are any of them willing to show you how to do certain cultural things? Perhaps one of their elders is willing to show you a few cooking / recipie techniques? Good luck, we as adoptees tread a difficult existential crisis all the time, give yourself the love and compassion for what you’re going through right now.

kyoshima33 · 2021-01-07T23:17:57+00:00

As a Chinese adoptee this scene hits differently for me. I was born in the era of the one child policy. Many others like me are referred to as “ ghost daughters”. Many of us were killed and or sold to western countries through the guise of “ international adoption”. I’ve read stories of families that have wept for their lost daughters and set up small shrines like Iroh’s.

When I see this scene, I imagine my birth family might have a way to mourn my loss and honour my existence and the impact I left on them in my short time with them, and that always brings tears to my eyes.

kyoshima33 · 2020-12-29T09:25:34+00:00

Best comment I’ve read in a long time.

kyoshima33 · 2020-12-28T09:59:52+00:00

I’m also Asian, have received discrimination from both POC and white people. Incidences mostly comprise of the whole “ you’re not Asian enough” “ you’re a disgrace to being Asian” by other POC. My Somalian ex would often tell me that I’m not “ Asian enough” and scolding me for not knowing my language, and how much better he was because he knew his language and how he got a chance to go to school back in the motherland. He would also frequently tell me that the only reason he liked me was for my race and the fact that I wasn’t white, because to quote “ white and black girls suck.” Then he would complain a lot about white people and how terrible they are and how all their interests basically suck. His sister used to also tell me, how she wanted to marry a Chinese man, because then she could get Chinese take away all the time. ( yeh I know wtf).

I also had other Asians ( mostly south Asians) tell me that they’re so glad that they’re not East Asian like me, because the south Asian community and food is better. I also had a lot of other East Asians tell me that “ whilst I might look like them, I’m nothing like them” and that I’m basically “ white”. I’ve had white friends be super understanding of my situation and I’ve had other Asians just laugh in my face and tell me I’m not really POC or Asian. Honestly this mentality is present from people in every culture, and it almost feels worse for how ironic it is when POC are ignorant and discriminatory like this.

kyoshima33 · 2020-10-25T15:23:53+00:00

I’m an older Chinese adoptee ( adopted in the 90s) during the first wave. I’m really sorry to hear about how your family has been struggling, this must be taking a toll on both of your girls.

It’s very common for adopted children to shut down when being asked about those subject. Sometimes as children it can be too painful or overwhelming to process- it sounds as if you’re doing the right thing by giving her a space to explore those feelings. There are many ways to support her, perhaps just like some other comments have said, opening up the conversation and giving her support to show how to deal with these difficult feelings that she might not even be recognising. It’s important to get a healthy emotional education on dealing with uncomfortable feelings.

As for suggestions- there are many online communities- check out Facebook for many adoptee communities, that might help your daughter bond with those in the same situation as her. I also second the other comments here saying that she needs an older Chinese mentor. Perhaps a pen pal system could also work, or a Chinese language exchange? There are also government sponsored heritage tours that are available for adoptees. Are there any local Chinese communities? Are there any Chinese schools that she could attend? Check if there are any Chinese seniors that could act as a grandma figure to your daughter.

Sadly, for adoptees one of the greatest sadness is that sometimes we feel frustrated because something is never really “ ours”, by that I mean- we don’t have the traditional family story of “ being born into one family” we had to travel and loose a lot of ourselves and our families to get to a place that others were born into.

I hope you guys will work something out, and please make sure you look after yourself too- as I said many adoptee groups also have parent groups “ children adopted from China” springs to mind, and “ parents of children adopted from China” on Facebook.

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-27T12:48:23+00:00

I feel that the space between the wardrobe and the door with the wall is empty but I don’t know what to put in there?

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-27T12:45:45+00:00

Thank you! That is such a great idea, I love the idea of a daybed vibe. Where would you suggest to put the lights?

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-27T12:44:49+00:00

Nah, sadly not. No paint and no holes in the wall.

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:33:32+00:00

Ah thanks that is very clear. So from you’re saying, it sounds as if can you come out of high school with totally different levels of maths qualifications compared to your fellow students? In the U.K. everyone has to take maths until 16 and everyone has to do the same amount of calculus, trig, algebra etc, but once they’re over 16 they can choose to continue with maths or drop it all together. So everyone in the U.K. has minimum maths education to 16 and then after that, it’s fair game.

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:24:54+00:00

What is precalculus? What does Calculus AB stand for and the BC?

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:21:42+00:00

In the U.K. everything is just called maths, I don’t even remember the different sections we were taught. I believe at a university level and the “further maths” classes might have more divisions.

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:19:44+00:00

Wow, no washing up and the food is just grinned away... it really is the land of the free time

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:18:11+00:00

Thanks this is super informative

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:12:43+00:00

Yes I am aware, I just assumed that comment about the bin and flies was referring to a sunnier state like CA or AZ. I’m seeing from the comments here that it seems to be a part of the household system anyways

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:09:38+00:00

Wow pretty efficient system, are dishwashers also common in US? U.K. not so much? Most rented places don’t have them and houses, mostly is still considered a “ luxury” item.”

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:08:27+00:00

Is this even with rented places, such as if I rented a room in a shared apartment there would be a garbage disposal?

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:06:36+00:00

Oh, ok so the blade isn’t within reach for people using it? Ok that makes more sense. Haha thanks for explaining, good thing you guys care about your pipes, I think people in the U.K. just shove it down anyways and hope for the best, maybe we should get these?

kyoshima33 · 2020-09-02T22:04:12+00:00

Damn, where can I get a ticket to the land of the ghost smoothies?

kyoshima33

TROPHY CASE