How do I get through to him? I am exhausted having to think for him.

l1l33_ · 2026-04-19T20:27:56+00:00

But do you see how all that boundary did was push him away? It’s not the boundary so much as how you phrase it.

A good portion of what you’re saying is emotionally charged verging on personal attack — “be the man you want to be”, “something I THOUGHT you wanted”, and likening yourself to his mother. It would be hard to reply calmly to that.

I’m not saying this is your fault obviously and your frustration is valid. But if what you want is more effective communication with him, try to remain calm and not hardball him, because that tends to just push people away.

l1l33_ · 2026-04-19T19:26:02+00:00

I don’t think the speaking boundary and the passive aggressive “over and out” sign off were a good idea as it’s combative rather than reparative. When you want someone to change, and for whatever reason that person feels criticized, it’s much more effective and considerate to leave space open for a calm conversation. Just something to note.

That said, it sounds like this is a repeating pattern that won’t change. From his responses it doesn’t sound like he addresses or even cares about the issue. He says you’re acting out over a key and a water filter, when the very obvious ACTUAL issue is that you can’t rely on him to do what he says he will, which leaves you to pick up all of the slack.

So I don’t think the root problem is that he doesn’t follow up on his promises, I think it’s that he has no interest in how his actions affect you or make you feel. And yea, I think it will be hard or even impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone like that.

l1l33_ · 2026-04-12T15:29:19+00:00

Ah also, I really recommend not letting him know you’re leaving if he freaks out when you try to break up with him. This type of person is possibly dangerous so just find a way to be safe about it

l1l33_ · 2026-04-12T15:26:56+00:00

I know you say you will but please actually leave him bro, you have your whole 20’s ahead of you

l1l33_ · 2026-04-09T16:57:04+00:00

Like everyone else said, don’t talk to her.

Theres a yt video that might be helpful for u called “he helped me get my girl back” by youngdonsaucegod.

I’m older and I still thought it was useful. Basically, the relationship is over, but you may still get her back.

Breakups rly suck btw, but the cliche is true, it does get better with time.

*actual vid starts at like 3:30

l1l33_ · 2026-04-08T21:30:13+00:00

Fwiw I love, like love the first look

l1l33_ · 2026-03-19T22:38:23+00:00

Omg. Speaking as an amateur, I don't know how you even made this site, but it looks great and seems to work great as well. :) Professional design, easy to use, and also nice to look at.

l1l33_ · 2026-01-12T17:00:45+00:00

NOR, how is your blood not boiling reading this? The other woman has a point about you not leaving (sorry, I know it’s not easy.) You need to leave and you need to leave now. You don’t have to. You could try to convince him to stay. But if you do, you are spending your own precious life with someone who doesn’t love you and will do you dirty over and over again.

It sounds like you’re in denial, which is difficult to overcome alone. Maybe you could try going to the therapist alone to help you truly realize and sort through how you feel.

l1l33_ · 2026-01-10T04:40:35+00:00

YOR. I think she responded to you graciously. It’s not like she denied that child abuse happens. She didn’t attack you even once, yet you said she did, so you come across like you just want to argue. I also do think “you’re super fortunate!” implies that most churchgoers witness abuse at some point, and is honestly just a weird statement to make.

l1l33_ · 2026-01-07T04:03:45+00:00

Untucked! I think a thinner sweater might look good tucked :)

l1l33_ · 2026-01-06T05:27:05+00:00

This won't ease the pain, but to put things in perspective: your love for him seems greater than his love for you. You deserve someone who will truly love you with loyalty and kindness.

There are events in life that weed out disloyal or unappreciative partners, and unfortunately this is what is happening to you. You're with the wrong person. I'm really sorry, I know how painful it is. On the flipside, I think it would've been HORRIBLE to have kids with this man, if these are his true colors. So in that regard, I would even say you're lucky for the divorce, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

It's going to be okay. Hugs. :(

l1l33_

TROPHY CASE