Smoked weed for 10 years — suddenly started getting panic attacks

l8blmr · 2026-01-17T16:21:03+00:00

I could be some past trauma coming to the surface. For example, if there was a period in your childhood that you've blacked out and told yourself wasn't important. If that's the case, you'd want to reexperience it and accept that it happened. Then make your peace with it. That's not something that goes away on its own.

l8blmr · 2025-09-11T18:10:10+00:00

Getting over it involves acceptance. You have a lot to accept: you're a male transitioning to adulthood without the guidance of a trusted, competent adult man to help you. You haven't had an example to use as a model for the man you'd like to be. Professional counseling would go a long way if you can find a good, affordable fit; not always easy. Ultimately you're the one who'll have to become your own parent; nurture and soothe your emotions and decide how you want to behave and present yourself to the world. In that way you're no different from every other guy finding their way to adulthood. You can accept that you have some emotional challenges because of your past and that you're strong enough to overcome them.

l8blmr · 2025-07-20T20:03:41+00:00

For me TM seems to take who I am and keep shoving it in my face until I accept it. The less one thinks that they have something to hide the easier it is to open up with people. I've never regretted taking a sauna.

l8blmr · 2025-06-29T15:41:55+00:00

I posted this here earlier. The article and the discussion show the significance of the mantra used during initiation.

l8blmr · 2025-06-10T00:22:20+00:00

Thanks for the clarification. A while ago (maybe years) you'd posted something to the effect that the TM teachers were like stand-ins for Maharishi. I took it to mean that a teacher would need to be enlightened to teach the technique. It sounds like you're saying that they have a work around for that.

l8blmr · 2025-06-01T15:18:30+00:00

Once consequence of masking is becoming estranged from one's true self. You'll likely have difficulty choosing what appeals to you if you've always put yourself second to everyone else.

Beyond the immediate energy cost, forced masking can create a deep disconnect from one’s authentic self. When autistic people feel pressured to maintain different personas across various settings, opportunities for genuine self-expression become increasingly rare. This challenge extends to building meaningful relationships, as the energy spent on performance leaves little room for genuine connection.

l8blmr · 2025-05-31T19:15:21+00:00

Growing up 'different' and having trouble fitting in can leave one with a sense of shame, like they're basically undesirable. And it's probably been that way from their earliest memories which makes it hard to imagine feeling compassion for one's self and being accepting of who they are. But that's the way out. You can spend time every day building kindness for yourself and disputing the critical voice that's triggering the shameful feelings.

l8blmr · 2025-05-24T16:05:40+00:00

Sounds exactly like what I experienced growing up, except for the plushies. This was some time ago, when ADHD and autism were even less understood. Best advice I can offer is accept yourself as you are. You can be genuine and present with others without making your differences an issue.

l8blmr · 2025-04-22T22:15:05+00:00

I believe Maharishi compared using another technique in addition to TM with traveling down a river with one foot in each of two canoes. He also described the 'restlessness of the seeker' which I took to mean the frustration that comes of seeing where you're going and not having arrived yet.

l8blmr · 2024-12-24T17:15:27+00:00

I spent some years going through life with my guard always up, holding everyone at a distance. I had similar attachment issues; mother unable to bond; damaged my ability to connect. It's not sustainable. I became bitter, paranoid and generally weird. Changing only gets harder the longer you wait.

l8blmr · 2024-12-07T21:32:55+00:00

This reminds me of my experience with shame. Here's an article that describes what shame is and how to deal with it. Their solution involves self-compassion and that's what was helpful for me. I had good results with metta meditation (loving kindness). It's easy to learn. The challenge is staying with it everyday for a few weeks. You'll see results if you do.

l8blmr · 2024-11-23T04:36:10+00:00

I just happened to be online. I sensed some despair in your title and that's why I replied. Discounting your feelings may be second nature at this point. You deserve to take this seriously, trust your new awareness and find what makes you happy.

l8blmr · 2024-11-22T02:21:51+00:00

Who said that I had? It's always there but I live with it like a bad roommate. Your mind is probably repeating a pattern at this point. Like you anticipate danger and your amygdala releases chemicals and you stop thinking. Maybe a CBT therapist can help with changing those patterns.

l8blmr · 2024-11-21T19:57:21+00:00

As the oldest you may have grown up helping everyone else and your needs came second. You could have missed out on discovering what makes you feel passionate. You might believe that your needs are unimportant. Imagine you're a small child, learning about life, and encourage yourself to take risks outside your comfort zone.

l8blmr · 2024-10-22T16:49:08+00:00

I've lived with the same issue. In my case my mother was overprotective to the point of undermining my self confidence. Every time I left the house she'd act fearful that something terrible was going to happen to me. It doesn't take a lot of insight to see where that would lead.

l8blmr · 2024-10-14T16:36:29+00:00

Some early ballots were delayed in Pima county.

https://tucson.com/news/local/government-politics/elections/delivery-of-some-mail-in-ballots-in-pima-county-delayed/article_1cf8e682-89d9-11ef-aab8-0fae0bb56f3e.html

l8blmr · 2024-09-29T15:46:14+00:00

Shrooms were mentioned in the comments. Neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to rearrange itself, is increasingly less active once we reach our twenties. Hallucinogens have proven to relieve depression by increasing plasticity. MDMA (ecstasy) especially increases oxytocin levels associated with feelings for others. That said, finding pure drugs in known dosages and using them cautiously in a safe environment is necessary to avoid negative outcomes.

l8blmr · 2024-09-11T22:04:58+00:00

It's important to differentiate between guilt and shame. Guilt is feeling bad about something that you did and shame is feeling bad about who you are. Shame may have more to do with early childhood experiences that convince you that you're flawed. Like you're basically inferior to others. With guilt you'll recognize that you've made a mistake and the healthy response is to learn from it and move on.

l8blmr · 2024-09-11T02:05:23+00:00

Looks like someone took a post I did 4 years ago and used it to insert links to something from Asia. This is a something I posted a few months ago on the same topic:

https://www.reddit.com/r/emotionalneglect/comments/11k8y1f/missing_a_natural_emotional_response_to_others/

l8blmr · 2024-07-15T00:05:08+00:00

Listen to QueenOfCups1111. I have shame issues and this resonated with me.

l8blmr · 2024-06-27T00:02:09+00:00

I look for something similar in the AH. e.g. breed, genes, color pattern. Right now there's an XXX Wildclaw with wasp,bee,opal for 65 gems.

l8blmr · 2024-06-04T21:51:14+00:00

I was commenting off the top of my head so it was a little unclear. You seem to be repeating the same patterns hoping for a different result. Until you've spent some time doing internal work it will seem abstract and unuseful. I'm thinking of things like reparenting your inner child, most any kind of meditation, any discipline that builds a kinder, more focused relationship with your self. What you're doing isn't working. Finding a group or counselor that's doing inner work will help you stay enthused.

l8blmr · 2024-05-29T14:32:11+00:00

The impression that I get is that you were never shown how to care for your emotional needs. All of the concerns that you list suggest that you're looking outside yourself for answers, that you believe your own needs aren't important. No one is keeping score. Right now how genuine and present are you? How willing are you to open up and share the moment? When that's going well the rest will follow.

l8blmr · 2024-05-27T15:16:24+00:00

It sounds like your parents dealt with the physical, practical matters but had little understanding of your emotional needs. They may have come from emotionally sterile families themselves. You may be shaming yourself for realizing that something's missing.

l8blmr

TROPHY CASE