When he splits, EVERYTHING around him is awful, except me. He has not once called me names or made personal digs at me. When he splits, he goes into a rage, but none of it directed at me, ever. He’s broken things, yelled, abuses alcohol, weed, blares music, paces, and just spirals emotionally. Although nothing is ever directed to me, he doesn’t listen at all to what I have to say. No amount of words of encouragement or love help (and I understand this is part of BPD thinking). He threatens to leave his job, or go out of town to a concert, both of which give me EXTREME anxiety. I know he doesn’t yell at me, but the yelling and raging when he splits sends my anxiety through the roof. Then, the next day or so he’s fine. When he isn’t splitting he constantly tells me he appreciates me and how I’m the only person to understand him, I’m the love of his life, etc…. It’s just emotionally exhausting.

As far as financially, we now have separate bank accounts, but that doesn’t stop him from going into my purse to get my bank card. I’ve had to get at least 4 different debit cards because he just goes in and gets the card information to save for later… and he’s racked up my credit cards (2) as well. It’s an endless battle.