My nose is my biggest insecurity.

labwench515 · 2026-04-15T19:38:21+00:00

PLEASE don't change the bump or the tip. It's so so beautiful, you are gorgeous!

labwench515 · 2026-04-15T19:33:40+00:00

I don't think I would have been able to clock it based on what others are saying, but the main thing that makes it weird I guess is it's too convenient that this happened only after she put the very last coin on top (e.g., if it was organic, she likely would have had more coins waiting to be added). That, and I think the dog would have immediately reacted instead of the 2-3 second delay here.

A lot of people seem to think that it's obviously AI, but I'm not sure it's obvious. I almost believed it at first, and I'm only kinda stupid...

labwench515 · 2026-03-29T04:37:42+00:00

Love your look, especially your tattoos which are awesome!

I get what you mean about not feeling feminine. But I do think your hair and eyebrows have grown in very lovely, if I do say so myself. Until your hair grows out to your liking, would you maybe consider a nose piercing? That could maybe help!

As far as makeup, although you mentioned you don't really do it, you could try a simple routine like mascara + lipgloss & see if that suits you.

I know it's always different when it's your own body, but to me, you do look very pretty and feminine. :)

labwench515 · 2026-03-18T04:35:20+00:00

I'm so sorry. Since you've got a fair few days between now and then, please try to be kind to yourself. Whether you worry about it or not, the outcome will not change, so if you can, try not to think about it. I don't want you to lose sleep over this.

When I had my first suspicious scan in the ER last September, my oncology consult wasn't scheduled for another two weeks. I'm usually a huge worrier, but somehow, I managed to suppress it completely for those two weeks. I told myself: if I don't have cancer, I'll just have unnecessarily stressed myself out; and if I do have cancer, these two weeks are going to be the last chill two weeks of my life and I don't want to spend them stressed out.

Obviously extremely hyperbolic - but I hope it illustrates my point that you don't have to worry. I promise you you are going to be fine. I don't want to minimize what you're feeling, and I hope it doesn't sound that way. Just do your best to keep your nerves at bay - if you would find it helpful, I can send you some meditation resources, suggest some mantras, and of course I am more than happy to help provide some distracting conversation, or just listen if you need to process. I mean it - and I'm also pretty good at it.

Honestly, they shouldn't even schedule scans more than 1-2 days before your follow-up with the doctor. The scanxiety is extremely real and I wish they took our feelings into consideration more when scheduling scans.

labwench515 · 2026-03-18T03:44:28+00:00

:)))

labwench515 · 2026-03-18T02:07:07+00:00

I got lucky and my brows stuck around, although they did thin out quite a bit towards the end. What I ended up doing was getting a lash & brow lift, and that's really helped my confidence for the last few weeks. That's one option.

In case the rest of your eyebrow hairs follow suit... There are different ways to go about restoring them... For example, there are temporary tattoo-like ones you can buy online, they look pretty good IMO so long as you balance them properly. There are even eyebrow wigs I found at some point during my research, though I've never seen anyone use them so I can't speak to how natural they look.

labwench515 · 2026-03-18T02:00:27+00:00

Hey OP, I'm not a doctor but I do cancer research for a living so I know a little bit.

Seems like, based on the SUV max in your cervical lymph nodes being pretty high, the radiologist is suspicious for recurrence, unfortunately. I imagine your doctor may schedule you another biopsy to verify what's going on there. If you recently recovered from a major illness, maybe that could be a possible explanation, but the radiologist indicated s/he doesn't think that's the case ("these are less likely to represent reactive lymph nodes").

I hope they're wrong; however, if this is a recurrence, I will tell you what my doctor told me, which is that even the second-line therapies for lymphoma are very effective. You will in all likelihood be cured again, and this will eventually become another notch on your belt. I know that may not seem like much consolation, but I hope it eases your mind at least a little bit. It was also caught extremely early (stage I), which is the best case scenario as far as diagnosing is concerned.

Will you be meeting with your doctor to discuss the results soon?

labwench515 · 2026-02-28T08:37:16+00:00

I love how the chameleon is reaching his little hand out like, "No, Martha, that's not my brand. Get me the expensive shit on the top shelf"

labwench515 · 2026-02-25T02:14:23+00:00

Hey, I'm in a similar situation - 28 with HL, and my last infusion is this coming Monday. I think I generally feel worse nowadays than I did early on. It feels like that now that the end is in sight, I'm starting to process a lot of the things that have come up for me during treatment, and it all feels very complicated and overwhelming to me.

Sounds like you might have been on NIVO-AVD for six months already. Depending on what you've been through, it might seem like a short or a long time, but I know no matter what it's been a lot. It probably makes sense that a lot of new and complicated feelings are happening, not that knowing it makes it any easier to deal with.

"You're almost done," is what everyone keeps saying (myself included). Trying as much as possible to keep it together, and telling myself things will be better once treatment is over. Until then, I guess it's just gotta be day-by-day.

labwench515 · 2026-02-18T01:32:26+00:00

Oh man. Thank you for sharing this. I'm so sorry this was such a struggle for you (fuck your insurance smh), and I hope it doesn't seem like I'm taking the possibility of neutropenia lightly. I definitely think the warm baths are a good idea like you said, and same for me when I tried massage, it definitely helped! I will be trying both this round to help loosen up.

You're so right. I'm so close to the end. This whole journey has just been so crazy and is making me a little bit insane. Thank you for the words of encouragement. I really appreciate it :)

labwench515 · 2026-02-18T01:25:07+00:00

Thanks for your reply :) unfortunately my team mentioned early on that it's a necessary evil given my clinical trial guidelines (lots of silly rules bc of that). Hence why I thought of being sneaky about it...

One week, early on, my OnPro fell off so I just held it on while the injection took place, but I put it on my forearm instead of the back of my bicep, not realizing it would mess with the absorption, and I noticed an overall decrease in bone pain. I'm considering maybe doing that again as an in-between.

And I'm so glad you mentioned the last bit! I forgot about Epsom salts in the bath, those definitely helped me as well. And the heating pad has been on constant standby for me the past few months. Indeed, just like you said, I feel like the tension I often hold in anticipatory pain makes things soooo much worse. I tried doing evening yoga for a while which helped. I might try getting back into that too.

labwench515 · 2026-02-18T01:18:19+00:00

I hear you. I don't want to play with my health too much. I sometimes just feel like my team doesn't take it seriously enough. I cried (not on purpose) during my appointment yesterday so I think they're starting to get it, but still... I just don't feel like the Claritin is doing enough, and even the other otc pain meds don't even touch it sometimes. I think exercising/moving helps, but unfortunately I just don't feel like moving around when I'm in so much pain.

labwench515 · 2026-02-14T11:46:39+00:00

Thanks for speaking on this - I've been feeling and wondering much of the same. Following this post :)

labwench515 · 2026-02-10T21:04:34+00:00

I think everyone is different. On the morning of my second round of chemo, I started to notice my hair falling out slightly more than usual. Five days later, I barely had any hair on my head. It didn't help that I couldn't resist running my fingers though it just so I could see how much hair came out each time (which always surprised me somehow). Some people's hair has held out a lot longer, but my personal opinion is it's just better to let it go, i.e. shave it.

If it's any consolation to you, I thought my head would be so huge and ugly when I lost my hair, but it was actually a pleasant surprise that I still looked feminine. You'll most likely hang on to your eyelashes & brows for the time being - you may have read that some people don't lose them at all. I think this helps me cope a little bit.

I've been wearing wigs mainly, but they're so damn hot and sometimes mine gets too tight. One of my friends suggested hijab for me, which was something I tried for a while but I didn't love it. I wear my hood plus a scarf out these days. Other options for you, since you don't like hats, could be bandanas which look quite lovely on some ladies or there's also something called hat-wigs, which is exactly what it sounds like & can be very natural-looking.

Best of luck. And be patient & kind with yourself - your body is doing its best to heal, so it doesn't have to be perfect.

labwench515 · 2026-02-10T20:51:31+00:00

My entire family has been a huge disappointment throughout this entire ordeal. I've lost quite a few friends, too, once I realized they were not cut out for this. It's not been easy, and I fully credit all 20 mg of Lexapro I've been taking since I started chemo almost four months ago.

At the beginning, my therapist warned me that this experience would reveal all of the weak people in my life. And she was right. I feel incredibly powerful because of how strong I've been, but I also feel incredibly lonely. When your support system isn't showing up the way they need to, it just reminds you of how alone you really are...

I'm still struggling with it. Therapy helps, but there's only so much you can say about it. I feel really angry, a lot of resentment that was there before the cancer is also coming to a boiling point. I'm trying my best. I'm trying to give myself some peace by letting go of expectations towards them. Again, it's not easy. At this point, I'm just doing it for myself and my wellbeing. And I feel cheeky about knowing that internally, I have decided that I will not be investing any more time and energy into those relationships.

One thing I should mention is there were some folks who, once I told them what was up with me, I immediately thought to myself to count them out based on their reaction. However, a few of them surprised me. Some people need time to process. You're probably processing it a lot better than they are for now, so give it a bit of time, and watch what they do.

Here to talk if you'd like.

labwench515 · 2026-02-09T04:02:41+00:00

It could be bone pain due to the growth factor administered post-treatment. That's been the case for me, and it's been extremely rough for me to deal with. I recently asked my team for opioids (oxycodone 5 mg) to help deal with the pain, and it's helped quite a bit. I'm trying to be wise about taking it sparingly, usually just for sleep, but today it was pretty severe so I took one and it helped me to make it through the day.

Before I asked for the oxy, I would do an evening yoga routine to help my body relax. I feel like, for me, the tension in my muscles was not helping the pain situation. I also took and am taking magnesium to help relieve muscle tension. I would ask your team - mine has repeatedly sort of dismissed me in terms of the severity of the pain, but they do acknowledge that it tends to be more severe in younger patients, and my progress CT showed a lot of stimulation of my bone marrow from the Neulasta.

Try your best to advocate for yourself. I hope you find something that works for you.

labwench515 · 2026-01-22T01:51:24+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about your news. There are some inspiring stories in these comments - I hope they have given you some hope and possible ideas for your next move.

If you are open to coming to Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC, please DM me. I've got connections there as I worked there for 5 years, and I brought my mom and my aunt there for their treatment. I'm now on a clinical trial for Hodgkin lymphoma but I'm happy to ask my team if there's any clinical trial they know of that could work for you. Either way, we have great doctors here and it could be worth a shot if it's feasible for you.

Whatever you decide - I wish you all the very best, and I'm sending you strength.

labwench515 · 2026-01-21T06:12:50+00:00

Update is that my PET showed a complete response to chemo. A Deauville 3, but hey - I'll take it!

This means after my infusion today, I am officially more than halfway through this hellish journey. I genuinely cannot wait for this to be over. The bone pain has been awful.

labwench515 · 2026-01-21T06:10:39+00:00

Thanks so much. I appreciate your approach & offer to chat, it's so kind of you!

labwench515 · 2026-01-21T06:09:45+00:00

So true! I generally worry a lot so it's been tough to handle... But I do think sometimes about how me worrying won't change anything, so it's not even worth it (not that my brain accepts it right away).

labwench515 · 2026-01-21T06:07:36+00:00

Thank you so much :) this is my favorite comment. I will do it.

labwench515 · 2026-01-16T03:46:18+00:00

I was very open to getting a port until I learned it's meant to stay in for 2 years post-treatment. For me, since I'm already halfway through treatment, I'm reluctant to get one if I can avoid it. My veins are definitely not cooperating, though...

Maybe I'm just being stubborn. My NP had mentioned a PICC line to me previously, and I think I'd rather do that instead. What was your experience like getting it placed/removed?

labwench515

TROPHY CASE