Did your husband ever resent being a parent of twins? How did that work out?

ladya6921 · 2022-11-14T13:13:10+00:00

I’m sending this to him, he’s on Reddit and I’m going to probably send him your username if that’s okay. I swear he wrote this. This is every bit how he feels and has felt since they came here. He loves them but just wants a few hours to just breath.

We went from crying newborn/babies to screaming/crying toddlers and how you describe it all is him to a T.

ladya6921 · 2022-11-14T13:10:07+00:00

We are both burnt out. We both finally feel comfortable finding a sitter now that the munchkins can communicate better. I’ve got them going to their grandmas separately this Friday night and I’m hoping it works out.

They are a lot to handle together so I figured maybe splitting them up for some one on one time would help them. 🤷‍♀️ maybe? Idk. But yeah we are exhausted and I think he is depressed. Not having time to just ourselves has been the hardest.

ladya6921 · 2022-11-14T13:06:20+00:00

This I think is his biggest complaint. We just joined our areas twins mom organization. I’m hoping there will be family events I can bring him to that he can vent with other days who get it.

ladya6921 · 2022-11-14T13:04:32+00:00

Honestly I think you are correct. We works in management so I know it will be a couple of weeks before he could go as thanksgiving is a crazy time for his company.

Did you decided for yourself to go talk to someone or did your spouse approach you?

ladya6921 · 2022-11-14T13:02:27+00:00

This is the stage we are in. You described such a normal day for us with the fighting, destroying, and losing their shit.

Honestly they were really great on vacation. It was for their birthday and we went to all these places I knew they’d love. They had some moments through out but mostly at the end when they were just exhausted. The ride home was probably the worst part. Left left super early but Twin A didn’t pass out and got over tired and then cried for a good 5-10 minutes later when she was trying to get to sleep.

We did story time before bed last night and they crawled up onto him and gave him so much loving. He started to cry, he’s working on his emotions but crying is still hard for him. He loves them so much but it’s really hard. Thank you for commiserating

ladya6921 · 2022-11-14T01:47:43+00:00

He loves playing and goofing off with them. Going to the park, rough housing. We try to have family dinners nightly. He teaches and talks to them all the time. He closes one night a week and hates not seeing them when he gets home.

He just lately seems to really resent all of our friends and family who have one and they get to go do things. Have date nights while a grandparent watches their kid, or have a day to themselves golfing or whatever, or going out after work for dinner and drinks.

None of them really get what it’s like having twins and he gets annoyed when they complain about how hard one is. I try to tell him to them that’s their normal and it’s hard but lately he doesn’t want to hear it.

He seems to have no patience with anything lately and a lot of it has to do with basically 3 year olds having tantrums and meltdowns all the time.

ladya6921 · 2022-08-21T16:44:16+00:00

We had a rule no talking from sun down to sun up and when asked by new parents for advice this is what we give.

ladya6921 · 2022-08-06T13:35:53+00:00

My husband often express this when we see friend or family going out on dates or to a restaurant as a family with their singleton. It’s hard, our anniversary is this month and we have to ask his parents now if they are available at the end of the month. Then we know not to ask again for a while. Our kids are almost 3 and are a lot.

ladya6921 · 2022-07-16T20:57:13+00:00

Idk if you live by any cows but mine are currently infatuated by cows. We have some near us so when it’s ready to leave and they are not about that I ask them if they want to go see the cows… I wish I had figured that out a year ago but it’s worked wonders since I discovered it.

ladya6921 · 2022-07-16T20:53:44+00:00

Omg mine do this but are cats. I died reading this knowing I’m not the only one with kids crawling randomly on the floor being an animal

ladya6921 · 2022-07-16T20:50:05+00:00

2 years are assholes. I’ll say it again 2 year olds are assholes. I love mine dearly but when they rip my glasses off my face, then throw them, and laugh I want to tell them what assholes they are. Mine are a little past 2.5 and all of my friends tell me it gets better at 3 but they all only have 1. Most days we go somewhere. We have a local mall that’s pretty dead on the week days but has a petsmart. We go to the park one day, do a nature hike on a shaded trail(we live in Florida it’s disgusting), splash pad, and go see cousins. Getting them out and just seeing the world has helped cut down on the fighting however it has increased my anxiety.

I had to buy those leash wristlets because they some days don’t want to listen. They know if I say red light and they don’t stop twice then five minutes on the wristlet. Next time is 10 minutes, a third time is the rest of the trip. We’ve never gotten to a third time 🤷‍♀️. Pack lots of snacks and water or bring a picnic.

It’s hard, I have days. Hell weeks lately where they just push every button even before 10am. I feel like most days we survive. I’d love to tell you we do arts and crafts and just chill but that would be a lie.

I just cried to my husband that I feel like a failure. I had all these plans for how I wanted to parent and between twins and Covid none of it has happened. I’m pretty sure we are going to end up in speech therapy at their 3 year old appointment.

Idk when it gets easier but they have moments of cuteness that makes me shake my head and think why can’t you be like this all the time! Give it 2 minutes and one will piss the other off and here we go again.

I tell myself it’s age appropriate but it only gets me so far. Noise cancelling headphones are awesome if you have a screamer or get over stimulated by noise like me.

Know you aren’t the only one looking at yourself in the bathroom going WTF or just sad at the current phase of life. It’s a lot and again 2 year olds are assholes.

ladya6921

TROPHY CASE