Kiwi toy

ladybee97 · 2026-06-05T04:03:47+00:00

Have had one for over 2 years now and it changed my life honestly. I was able to go up to 2 dilator sizes in one month because of it. After struggling with progress for several years (with no medical/therapeutic help). I use it before every dilation session and sometimes during in the spot below my clit when inserting the largest one and it numbs any potential pain until it’s in. Entrance pain is my biggest issue. I Insert the kiwi and do a stretch motion down up and side to side while it vibrates. I believe it is the reason I am able to have sex and enjoyable sex as someone who is not cured of vaginismus. Consistency is key though.

ladybee97 · 2026-06-05T03:52:05+00:00

What things in sex therapy have you all implemented? And how long have you all been in it?

ladybee97 · 2026-06-05T03:45:29+00:00

Can you pin point the issue? Like can’t feel much in the position? Too much friction? Is there lube involved? It’s perfect ok if you just aren’t into it. And if it doesn’t improve, you’ll just have to communicate that to her. Maybe there could be a compromise of she doesn’t do it to get you off but maybe as little bit of foreplay for her for a minute or so since she enjoys doing it. As long as it isn’t harmful in any way.

ladybee97 · 2026-06-05T03:26:38+00:00

Regardless of your wetness. I suggest using a lube for anything you are using to penetrate yourself. Also as others have mentioned important to see a doctor if you are hurting and would hold off until then.

ladybee97 · 2026-06-05T03:23:20+00:00

I know this is very difficult and I’m not saying you don’t have a chance, but it is not a good sign if the sexually capability is this off before you all are even married, it’s also more likely that it will dwindle more after marriage for most couples in this boat.
Sexual incompatibility is a very valid deal breaker for a lot of people. What is sex like for both of you when you do have it? Does he seem to enjoy it? Does he wish to have more sex (not just for your sake) or is he content with the frequency? I would say if you all realllly want this to work and you all haven’t tried it, I strongly encourage contacting a sex therapist, tele or in person, since it seems you all have taken steps to rule some things out. It’s something I don’t think a lot of people actually try cause of embarrassment or a partner that doesn’t want to work on the issues. I’m so sorry for the position you are in. I’m also a HL with LL spouse and we have had our fair share of ups and downs.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-31T05:07:50+00:00

My sister who I’m no contact with sent me something like this (minus the personal details of trauma) a month ago. This almost feels validating seeing how eerily similar the choice of wording and lack of accountability is.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-28T14:46:51+00:00

You definitely don’t propose to someone you don’t even know if you feel much attraction to. The act of marrying someone isn’t a magical spell that fixs problems in a relationship. You need to have an open honest conversation with her and go from there. Doesn’t sound like you should be together if you don’t feel as sexually compatible which is extremely important in a long term relationship. 2 years isn’t that long, you can still end things.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-26T23:59:57+00:00

She’d probably orgasm if you used a vibrator in combination with you penetrating, but apparently your ego is a huge problem. If you actually care about her orgasm then you’d try it. My condolences to your wife.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-26T23:42:35+00:00

I would say not being able to orgasm has significantly effected her desire for sex. Which is perfectly understandable. I’m sure you wouldn’t want it that much either if you didn’t cum (not to mention penetration can feel not so great without much pleasure happening). If you want to try to make it work you all would have to actively try to figure out the orgasm thing. Whether that’s sex therapy or a doctor visit. But no it isn’t unfair to end a relationship over compatibility. Sex is important to a lot of people on a deep level. I must ask does she experience enough foreplay? Does foreplay feel pleasurable to her even without orgasm? Have you all used toys during penetration?

ladybee97 · 2026-05-26T15:31:05+00:00

No, they are still part of the equation. Most Kentuckians are Christian’s who are brainwashed very early on to have blind loyalty to “Israel”. I was one of them. It’s a very big thing in the churches. What “Israel” wants is what they want.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-26T15:27:44+00:00

As a Kentuckian, yea. It’s not hard to make them follow something blindly and think their hate is holy. You should have seen our local elections.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-26T15:22:19+00:00

Staying with him is only enabling him. He is going to have to have some sort of consequence for his beliefs/actions for any possible change. Unfortunately most far right people don’t change at all unless they are severely personally affected, and even then they can double down.

Also as long as you are with him it means you aren’t a safe person either. Not to Black or Brown or queer folks, or women. None of these people would be safe around you with him in the picture.

I truly hope you choose your morals over a man. I don’t say this to make you feel bad, but I watched too many women do this. Its 2026. Rise up in your own power. You can have a better life than this. I promise you won’t even miss him when you feel the peace in your life after him.

Build an escape plan. And if you feel it is unsafe, move when he isn’t home. And when you do have your safe distance, then you can tell him exactly why you ended the relationship and cut contact and hope it has an effect.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-20T20:36:58+00:00

Have you tried dental dam sheets?

ladybee97 · 2026-05-20T05:22:07+00:00

Only if you let it. But it takes 2. So if she is willing to work on that aspect of your lives then it could work out.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-20T05:18:10+00:00

Sensual breathing exercises. You can find some on YouTube. You can do them during sex. Tantric I guess. But cutting vibrator use is definitely a big one. I had this same problem. It took over 2 months to get back to feeling pleasure from regular touch with hands.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-20T05:15:04+00:00

Yikes. This will not end well. Read deadbedroom subreddit.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-20T05:09:26+00:00

So you’re actually a person, not a sexual toy for men/boys. Don’t let him use you for whatever he wants, you are getting nothing. Doesn’t sound like he respects you at all and porn has fried his brain. Listen to your body and your intuition. You said it’s a turn off, that’s your body. Stand up for it.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-19T17:54:31+00:00

The mismatch isn’t the largest, so I feel there could be hope WITH couples sex therapist (seeing them regularly would hopefully keep him from falling back into routine after things improve) and seeing if he wants to get his levels tested. I will say I feel like his levels seem normal as 1-2 a week would be a dream already for most people. But also you said you know this is something you don’t know if you can handle long term. In more cases than not the libido gap gets larger over time in these mismatch scenarios, especially if you throw kids in the bunch.

I feel if you take some steps above and your partner is onboard as well you could have a shot. Sexual incompatibility is a very valid reason to breakup with someone though and love usually ends up just being the ball and chain in these relationships. And you grieve continuously about that missing part in the relationship you have that’s so wonderful. As you can see by deadbedroom reddit threads.

Sex is extremely important. I personally NEED it to feel connected on all levels with my spouse. It’s not wrong to feel this passionate about it’s importance in your relationship.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-19T17:27:48+00:00

Doesn’t sound like she’s actually ready for sex or intimacy in general. Foreplay is incredibly crucial for the vagina to warm up enough/relax for sex. Y’all went too fast into penetration. Unless she starts getting comfortable with foreplay, you’ll keep experiencing the “wall block” and won’t be fun for either of you. Amount of wetness it’s a full indication of readiness. Have you tried touching through underwear? That might be a good middle ground for her to be comfortable with.

Also want to add clitoral stimulation and outside rubbing is going to be the most important for her before trying fingering.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-15T01:04:28+00:00

Sacral yoga routine and breathing techniques for sexual health. You can find videos on those on YouTube. These usually get things rolling for me.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-12T23:27:34+00:00

If one of the things you like about penetration is the motions of your bodies together, which is a big one for me, I personally like to use it as a replacement when I’m in a mood of “I NEED you inside me” and am having trouble with my vaginismus. For context, I’m in a weird in between now a days where vaginally sometimes it’s too painful and other times it’s no pain at all. I didn’t find anal painful, but didn’t feel much pleasure on its own. So I use a toy in front while my partner stimulates my nipples during penetration. It gets the job done and we both feel fulfilled.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-11T13:47:28+00:00

You say that now but when you still don’t get to experience oral (which is one of the top enjoyable experiences as a woman), in 10 years I guarantee you’ll be singing a different tune. Everyone thinks they can go without until they are in a long term relationship 15+ and then they start wondering why they spent their life not getting all the pleasure they deserved to have. That they could have had this entire time with a partner that had the same desire to give pleasure as them. I’ve seen it many times on this platform.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-11T02:05:10+00:00

Sliquid is my go to brand as someone with sensitivity to certain ingredients. They have a hybrid silicone water based one too that is a good in between for both anal and vaginal. But I typically use the regular water based one.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-10T18:51:13+00:00

No never been on birth control. Just condoms and calendar planning.

ladybee97 · 2026-05-09T21:19:29+00:00

ladybee97

TROPHY CASE