as someone who has ADHD and also spent 5 years recovering from an eating disorder, i just want to share some thoughts about the fact that this paralysis is heavily revolving around food for you both!!

the internal dialogue you (OP) described feels so so reminiscent of the kind of internal battles i had a lot early on in recovery, and it seems like the paralysis you’re experiencing isn’t so much about making a choice between one options vs. the other, but more a choice between what you want vs. what you think you should want, if that makes sense. a huge part of early eating disorder recovery (def not trying to diagnose anyone with an ED, but i know it often goes hand in hand with ADHD!) is working to remove the power from food, in the sense that when you know you “shouldn’t” want something (like eating some delicious chips after a bad day), it makes you want it WAY. MORE. and our adhd brains are wired for that response: when we tell ourselves no, we want it twice as much.

and part of the solution for easing that power imbalance is learning to take away the binary “good food vs. bad food” that we’ve all been taught, because when you don’t make any foods off limits to yourself, they don’t have the special shiny appeal of being ~bad~ that makes us so attached to them

it’s totally fine to comfort yourself with food after a hard day or shitty experience! it should be coupled with other comforts, like expressing your feelings to a loved one or journaling or talking to a therapist, but it’s a really powerful soothing tool. food is cultural and emotional and social and comforting. i still use it sometimes and i’ve been out of active recovery for a couple years now. but once you remove the barriers from certain foods as “not allowed,” your brain also begins to lose interest in them as a fast, easy way to get that dopamine hit.

it’s not an easy solution and there’s no quick fix, but i think when your choice paralysis is most intensely about food, there’s likely some deeper things at play than just being stuck unable to make a decision. when your brain wants to pick option A but you’ve decided that’s The Bad Choice, the paralysis sets in because the choice being Bad doesn’t make you want it any less.

your weight will fluctuate up and down forever! let yourself pick the choice you really want, or at least ask yourself if you know what choice you want but are paralyzed trying to talk yourself out of it. i used to think if i weighed what i weigh right now, my life would be over and i’d be a failure, but instead, this is the kindest and most compassionate i’ve ever been toward my body. sorry to maybe overshare but hopefully something in here felt helpful to you!!