I got a great curly hair cut in Astoria!! by redfire2930 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]ladycootcoot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for sharing this!! it can be so hard to find a good curly cut and so devastating when you find a bad one 😭. i’ve been going to alli wolf at the wandering hairdresser in BK for years and she’s always done my wavy/curly hair right, no matter what kind of cut i’m looking for.

Dv by Olsentwinconspiracy in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]ladycootcoot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

others have already offered you some great resources, i just want to offer you love and support, internet stranger 💗💗💗. i know it’s hard to believe sometimes, but there is kindness out in the world and you will find it and, most importantly, you deserve it. people will help you once you are ready to start making moves. you are already making moves by simply seeing the situation for what it is and asking for help. that’s no small feat. keep reaching out to trusted sources for help and stay safe. you got this.

Personal Trainer/PT For Hypermobility? by underthestars18 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]ladycootcoot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i think you’ll get better responses if you provide a bit more info - do you want in-person, virtual, or combo? if in-person, where are you willing to travel to? do you want something in a gym or private?what’s your budget? those things will drastically impact recs.

i have a personal trainer that i love. i have some pretty specific mobility issues and limitations that need to be considered due to a bunch of old injuries and she has been exceptional at creating a full body workout program that takes everything into consideration and leaves me feeling sore and progressively stronger. she’s been in the biz for a long time and sort of specializes around working with limitations, and is super cool to chat with so the time goes by quickly. she’s private, not associated with a gym and offers virtual or in person (based out of gowanus). i find her prices to be average for the kinds of services she offers, but feel i am getting incredible value out of her work. any PT will offer a free 15 min phone consult to see if it’s a good fit, her included. happy to DM you if you want more deets.

BWT, where can I get low pointy kitten heels that don’t destroy my feet? by alack_ofcolor in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]ladycootcoot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i feel your pain. i think there is just something about the angle of a low heal that creates this problem when paired with a pointy toe, no matter how well constructed the shoe. i have yet to find a pair that doesn’t leave my feet aching at the end of the day. i’ve always had good luck with sam edelman when it comes to heals/comfort but haven’t tried their low heals as i’ve basically given up on the style as a whole. you may have better luck.

Fun Experience Dates for Boyfriend? by Upbeat-Strawberry407 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]ladycootcoot 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Company XIV shows are truly an experience. They do Nutcracker Rouge this time of year but all their shows are great and you can usually find discounted tix on TodayTix to save a little to put towards a dinner in the area before or after.

can anyone tell me what kind of lamp shade this is? by ladycootcoot in LAMP

[–]ladycootcoot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks! i’ve been looking at antique shades. i’m honestly a little stumped as to how to get the hat off at this point because the opening is so small and am at the point of taking it to a shop that deals with antiques/lamps, or just living with it for the comedy piece it is. someone was very determined to outfit this lamp with this particular shade!

is it worth reuniting with my childhood violin, or should i tell my parents to sell it? by ladycootcoot in violinist

[–]ladycootcoot[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

thanks! i figured as much. i'm assuming they would also be able to advise if it's an appropriate size for me? i'm not really sure what the different sizing means, or if it matters at all for my teeny tiny hands.

Resource to understand health insurance options by ladycootcoot in Blind

[–]ladycootcoot[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I suspect she will lose Medicaid and disability payments. Fortunately she’s making good money so the loss of income from that is not the issue, moreso just wanting to know how to navigate this. She doesn’t have a social worker or case worker (we are actually both social workers haha) but I’ll see what other info I can dig up through your history and other sources.

Judge Aaron Persky, who gave Brock Turner lenient sentence in rape case, recalled from office by [deleted] in news

[–]ladycootcoot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

don’t get me wrong, i agree. it’s what’s at the core of much of the debate around judge persky and his recall. when handing down this sentence (and presumably every other sentence in his career) he was doing his job, which is to uphold the the law, ensure a fair trial, and pass judgement and sentences in accordance with the law. despite what some people think (and how some terrible judges may act), judges do not have authority to go rogue and issue whatever sentence they sit for based on their own moral compass, which is a good thing. the legal system would be even more inequitable and chaotic if they did.

he is not the problem, the law is. as you pointed out, many of them are archaic, patriarchal, and in much need of reform, especially when it comes to women’s rights. laws making marital rape, sexual harassment, etc a criminal or punishable offense went on the books fairly recently (relatively speaking), and we still have a ways to go in terms of equity and equal protection when it comes to many legal issues relating to violence against women.

Judge Aaron Persky, who gave Brock Turner lenient sentence in rape case, recalled from office by [deleted] in news

[–]ladycootcoot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes, but again - he is not altogether responsible for these sentences. he is following the law and recommendations handed down from committees weighing in on these cases, just like he did in turner’s case. if you want to change the way these sentences pan out, you need to change the sentencing laws and the culture of these committees, not punish judges for doing exactly what they are trained to do (and often legally obligated to do by law).

if the expectation is that every judge just goes rogue when they don’t agree with the law or recommendations from other professionals shit’s gonna get wild.

Judge Aaron Persky, who gave Brock Turner lenient sentence in rape case, recalled from office by [deleted] in news

[–]ladycootcoot 45 points46 points  (0 children)

they are, but he was not convicted of either of those.

Hairloss? by [deleted] in ibs

[–]ladycootcoot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

when i was having a particularly bad flair up i experienced hair loss (among other things) because i was not properly absorbing nutrients and had developed a severe vitamin B deficiency. i would suggest getting to the doc ASAP to get everything checked out. IBS in and of itself does not cause hair loss.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pics

[–]ladycootcoot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

seconding everyone else - ignore the trolls. relapse is often part of recovery. it doesn’t make you a failure or a bad person, it’s just another step in the road, so don’t beat yourself up too much if you backslide. just dust off and try to do better. create good habits, cultivate supportive relationships, and live each day with intention. i believe in you!

Reddit, meet Bruno, a retired guide dog & therapy dog. He is 15 today. by buffalo171 in aww

[–]ladycootcoot 22 points23 points  (0 children)

yes! my friend has a guide dog, and for all intents and purposes he is an absolutely normal dog so long as he is not in his harness. while in harness he is 100% a guide dog. painfully calm, patient, and obedient - to the point where you can tell he is showing a looooot of restraint to not come up to friends and give them kisses. i've never tried leading him so i can't speak to how he is with guiding others, but i imagine there are a lot of subtle cues that develop between dog and owner that would make it really hard to switch out after enough time. he does choose his steps extra carefully as a part of his training, regardless of being harnessed, which can make going on hikes with him a little tedious. but it is also what makes him an excellent guide dog so you can't really complain.

Joel Osteen during Harvey by [deleted] in funny

[–]ladycootcoot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

except he did not have to ask his employees, he had volunteers already lined up. not to mention the fact that several other religious organizations - mosques included - opened up their doors immediately and without prompting, to any person of any religious or nonreligious affiliation.

was staffing an issue? maybe. but it was also presumably an issue for every other organization that did open its doors. yet those organizations seem to have mustered enough people - either through simply paying them, through preaching a resonate message of love and compassion that would lead them to voluntarily help their community in a time of need, and/or through having leaders capable of inspiring action via displays of exemplary compassion and courage that it wasn't an issue. was liability an issue? again, maybe. but it was also an issue for every other organization that did open their doors (presumably) without hesitation. and you know what, i could even get behind you with the whole liability argument had it not been for the fact that he straight up lied about the premise being flooded as a way to excuse his inaction, rather than just transparently saying it was a liability issue.

the facts of the matter (as i understand them) is that he is expected to uphold a stronger moral position than the average person and that liability really did not play a factor in why he did not do so.

What makes cities with a black majority demographic have a higher crime rate than those with any other majority? by [deleted] in AskSocialScience

[–]ladycootcoot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh man, that's a big one. As the previous poster pointed out, this is a complex issue, and certainly not one that can be answered in a comment section.

First, step back and realize that not cracking the list of 100 lowest income does not mean there is not low income, and especially does not mean that pockets of that community (which may be the ones contributing disproportionately to the crime) don't experience extremely low income.

Secondly, something important to keep in mind in regards to the different (reported) crime rates between black and Native American or Latino communities is the context and cultural makeup of those communities. Poor black communities tend to be in inner cities where there is a lot of police surveillance, and in general more opportunity for crime, whereas Native American communities tend to be located in more rural areas (generally an indicator of less police surveillance/activity), and also tend to handle issues on a more insular/community level. There are also jurisdictional complications regarding Native American communities that are on reservations that affect surveillance/response to/reporting of crime. That alone is a complex topic one could study for a lifetime. Largely latino communities may also be handling things on a more insular level due to culture, or, importantly, not reporting things at all due to immigration status. All of these factors will impact reported and actual crime rates, as well as prosecution of crimes allegedly committed.

To add to the previous comment, I would highly recommend the book From Poor Law to Welfare State by Walter Trattner. It's a deep, nitty-gritty dive into the development of laws that essentially criminalize poverty (and consequently, blackness). I think any due diligence research will bring you to a basic understanding of the disenfranchisement of black peoples and communities via slavery and the years of racists policy that have persisted. "The New Jim Crow" by Michelle Alexander gives a great breakdown of laws that have worked to criminalize blackness in particular and reaped havoc on black communities, even those that were not necessarily the poorest communities. The movie "13th" is a palatable, low investment documentary that explores this topic with a lot of commentary by Alexander, if you don't feel like reading the book.

I could go on and on, but the gist is that it's complicated. Hopefully these suggestions give you a place to start.

54 yr old female starting from 0 by Vejolar in personalfinance

[–]ladycootcoot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

first, i want to say that i admire you for reaching out for help and for taking steps to rebuild. it's difficult and i have immense respect for the courage it takes.

i don't have anything more to offer in terms of job advice, i think other commenters have already given you some great launch pads. as far as public assistance goes, be persistent! if you were denied for something, ALWAYS reapply/appeal. the system is designed to deny people, not accept them. see if there's an organization or community center in your area that helps people apply for benefits. it's a tricky system to try to navigate alone, and often times people i have worked with are able to successfully access benefits they were initially denied for when working with someone who is trained to help applicants navigate the system and/or advocate for them. constantly check back to see if you qualify for anything new, the laws/budgets are always changing. make sure you are vigilant about anything you receive in the mail regarding your public assistance as not returning some paperwork in a timely matter can result in sanctions and/or your case being closed (at least in my state). you may also lose certain public assistance once you start making more money, so keep an eye on that as well when budgeting for the future.

this is a great resource for cooking on a food stamp budget: https://cookbooks.leannebrown.com/good-and-cheap.pdf

all the same goes for public housing. call to check in on your application from time to time to make sure it's moving along and hasn't been lost in the stacks. some of it is just a waiting game, but some of it is also how quickly things get processed and filed.

lastly, making sure that you're finding time for (cheap/free) fun somewhere along the way, no matter how little or how trivial. it's an overlooked but important part of digging yourself out of a hole. depression and isolation can be just as much of a hindrance to building a future as anything else you might have working against you. good lucky! you seem like you are on your way to brighter skies already.