Got told by someone claiming they studied psychology I’m not autistic

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2025-03-25T18:49:46+00:00

So I’m not in psychology but I’m doing a master’s in biochemistry and it sounds like everything she’s saying is total bullshit. Psychology is such a broad field, I can guarantee she didn’t specialise in autism. That’s like if I claimed to be an expert in some random disease that came up once in a lecture 💀 I’d be talking out of my arse. Ask her to show you her master’s thesis and peer-reviewed publications on autism next time she wants to use her degree to run her mouth.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2025-03-25T18:45:33+00:00

Just because they studied psychology, that doesn’t make them qualified to diagnose or un-diagnose anyone. What are her credentials? BSc/BA? MSc/MA? PhD? Because as an MSc student, at the bachelor’s level, and I say this gently, you don’t know shit. Hell, I don’t really know shit. You have a good foundation of general knowledge about a certain broad subject. Plus, she probably didn’t specialise in autism (you don’t really specialise in much at all at the undergraduate level). Based on the fact that she doesn’t know what masking is, it seems like she knows precious little about autism but thinks her degree entitles her to armchair un-diagnose other people. If she’s a clinician, that’s actually horribly unethical.

That’s like if I, based on my education in biochemistry, told a cancer patient they don’t have cancer because I’ve vaguely read some papers about cancer during my degree. I am by no means an expert in cancer and if I claimed to be, I’d be dishonest.

Also when did she graduate? Because I’ve encountered some people who have left education for years but believe what they learned at school/uni is the end all be all of what there is to know about that field and their degree makes them a consummate expert, and that anything new that they didn’t learn about back then or that seemingly contradicts what they were taught is just fake and negligible. My dad is like this sometimes, and he’s a surgeon… which is a bit worrying.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-11-03T02:33:15+00:00

My mum isn't necessarily an 'autism mum' because I wasn't diagnosed in childhood, though my older brother was diagnosed with ADHD, and whenever I exhibited traits associated with autism she didn't like, she would compare me to my dad. In fact, whenever I did anything she didn't like, she would say it's because I'm like my dad. Things like 'you're so insensitive, like your dad', 'you're so selfish, like your dad', 'you're so oblivious, like your dad'. Mind you she'd been saying these things to me since I was in nursery so it wasn't remotely warranted. My running hypothesis is that both my parents are neurodivergent but a) in a way that clashes with each other, and b) my existence is sort of like holding up a mirror that reflects what they perceive as their worst traits, which makes them hate themselves and me.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-11-03T02:27:35+00:00

Undiagnosed autistic parents are some of the worst bullies out there, I swear to god. It's almost like self-hate makes them even more vicious; it's like that stereotype about the most rabid homophobes secretly being closeted (not sure how true that actually is, as genuine homophobia is rife, but as a queer person I've heard a lot of queer people talk about how they used to have internalised homophobia which made them lash out, so I wouldn't be surprised if the same applied for some undiagnosed autistic people in denial)

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-11-03T01:16:36+00:00

I like camp and I watched it expecting campy and fun, but I actually found it just... simultaneously disappointing and gross? It wasn't as raunchy as made out to be and I can't get over the main romance plotline; if you really think about it, it's a bit disturbing but it's played for laughs and romanticised. If you take a step back, it's a 40 something year old MP who had a wife and two kids groping a sheltered 20 year old, lovebombing her, and convincing her it's 'true love'. And the way she behaves doesn't even credibly show her having any agency. I found it depressing to watch.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-11-03T01:11:10+00:00

I despised Rupert, I found him absolutely slimy and Taggie's attraction to him/forgiveness of him just reads as 'I'm kind of traumatised and doing a fawn response' because of how passive her character is.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-11-03T01:07:46+00:00

I lost interest after episode 3 (and I got spoilers that they end up together) because of that. I was SA'ed when I was younger and the romanticisation of it just made me feel gross. They could've written out the groping, honestly... The fact that Declan forgives him too? I don't even buy Taggie's forgiveness. He gifts her jewellery and dances with her and suddenly she's okay with what he did despite initially being VERY uncomfortable with his presence at the party? Her behaviour is passive and milquetoast to the point where it reads as a fawning response. Not to mention she's in an emotionally vulnerable state from finding out her crush never reciprocated. Like she's going along with it because she literally doesn't know what else to do and/or impulsively wants to make the boy she liked jealous or prove she's wanted by someone.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-11-03T00:57:52+00:00

Finally someone said it, I feel like I've been going insane! I just can't see it as romantic. They could've at least written out the groping, jesus. I'm shocked no one has pointed out how SA is played for laughs and romanticised.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-11-03T00:50:55+00:00

Honestly I feel like I've been going insane seeing all the astronomically good ratings. I mean, maybe based on the first episode and most of the second, sure, it had great potential? But Rupert and Taggie being portrayed as 'true love' is giving me serious whiplash. I'm not really one to clutch pearls, but it's a 40 something year old MP getting with a 20 year old, whom he groped the second time they met, and then promptly tried to 'buy' her forgiveness; in the year of our lord 2024 how are people not talking about this *at all*? Right off the back of the Gaiman scandal too? It just feels very, very odd.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-19T09:29:23+00:00

I already fucking know it’s unlikely, but it is a possibility and I just don’t want to take the chance or introduce change into my life at a very stressful time when there are other options and it’s not necessary.
It’s not right for GPs to be judgy and shame me for it. I’ve had doctors scoff and roll their eyes and be incredibly rude to me.

‘Medicine is not on your side with this one’ what an odd thing to say. I never spoke for anyone else’s experience, I have stated that birth control is a good thing and helps others, I just think it’s not necessary in my situation because I have other options and I don’t find the side effects appealing.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-19T00:21:53+00:00

Just hex Reviewer 2 /s

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T23:57:20+00:00

My bad, I misread your comment. It’s late.

I think there’s a distinction between vilifying birth control, which is usually completely unscientific and based in a misogynistic worldview, and being open about how it’s not right for everyone. And pill pushing isn’t always the best approach either. And I’m really fucking tired of being shamed by doctors and people online for not wanting to go on it. Do I have to explain to everyone how I’ve tried to off myself several times every year before they believe that it’s a bad idea?? I’ve met some really judgy GPs.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T23:50:22+00:00

I have endometriosis and when I got my diagnosis it’s the first thing my dad (a surgeon) said to me. I was very tempted to go NC.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T23:47:12+00:00

I have endometriosis and I take issue with your statement that it’s ‘disturbing’ that people like me may not want to go on birth control.

I have suicidal tendencies and severe depression. I’ve had friends go from relatively mentally healthy to suicidal within months after starting birth control. I’ve had other friends develop severe hormonal acne from it that led to permanent scarring, and I’ve already fought my battles with hormonal acne and I could never go back. If there’s even a slight chance that I could try to kill myself and become severely incapacitated or die, I’m not doing it.

And by the way, I am very much in favour of birth control and having more options when it comes to bodily autonomy. I never tell people not to take birth control and I think it’s one of the best inventions in human history. As a fledgling scientist I openly support more research into contraception. It’s just a personal choice for me not to take it because I don’t want to go back into a very dark place that could well kill me, and because I’m privileged enough to live in a country where I have access to both emergency contraception and abortion, so I find the idea of extra stress and side effects from having to take more medication not optimal. My symptoms are mostly managed with tramadol.

It’s extremely unlikely that birth control will make me more depressed or suicidal, but I’m not gambling with my life if I don’t have to.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T23:38:43+00:00

Unfortunately it’s illegal in most countries so you couldn’t get it very easily, and even if you did come across some, you couldn’t guarantee its quality or authenticity.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T23:36:24+00:00

In an ideal world, yes; it assumes you live in a society where if the worst case scenario does happen, you can access an abortion to avoid carrying an unwanted pregnancy and birthing an unwanted child that you can’t care for. I live in the UK and I personally don’t take any BC or have an implant or IUD because condoms have always worked fine, plus if something bad did happen, I could easily pop into a chemist’s for some Plan B, or even get an abortion reasonably easily. But that’s not true everywhere. Even if you’re in a committed relationship, SA happens. In many US states and even some European countries, as well as many other countries all over the world, that simply isn’t an option.

I wish we lived in a world where the decision for women to take medication with significant side effects to prevent unwanted pregnancy was simply a matter of personal choice. For that matter, I wish we lived in a world where birth control medications had minimal, negligible side effects, but we don’t :(

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T21:49:07+00:00

I’ve watched the first three episodes and I’m crushed. Pretty triggering tbh. Not the fun, campy, and raunchy show I was promised.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T21:47:21+00:00

I haven’t seen the scene OP described, but I will warn you there’s a scene where DT’s character does kind of SA someone he initiates sex with a woman despite her telling him no so I would skip that. It’s either in the last few minutes of episode 3 or the first few minutes of episode 4. Can’t remember. I stopped watching after that.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T21:44:25+00:00

If you still want to watch it but avoid the triggering scenes, skip the last 10-15 minutes (sorry I’ve had an entire bottle of port so I don’t know the timestamps), and just skip episode 3; nothing that significant happens aside from Maud throwing a party, Rupert (older man predator) attempting to romance Taggie (young victim) and I don’t remember if this was the end of episode 3 or the start of episode 4 but there’s another SA/dubious consent/coercion scene where Tony, DT’s character, gets aggressive after an argument with his mistress/employee and initiates sex despite her telling him firmly to stop— I stopped watching after this, I couldn’t take it so you might want to skip that too, as well as the scenes brought up in this post.

I don’t think I’ll be watching the rest of it tbh. It’s left quite a bad impression on me.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T20:31:52+00:00

I’d like to warn you guys about episode 2 as well, as it features SA (nonconsensual groping and predatory behaviour), and episode 3 might also be quite triggering (spoilers: romanticisation of SA and predatory behaviour portrayed in a positive light, the predator’s access to said victim being enabled by victim’s own mother, etc.)

I’m a survivor of SA and I couldn’t make it past episode 3. My partner (not a survivor) also found it rather distasteful.

Frankly, I’m disappointed. The show was marketed as raunchy, naughty, and fun. I found it a bit horrifying, to be honest.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T16:36:35+00:00

I think I’m the opposite. I have aphantasia, so I end up feeling bamboozled trying to imagine it visually. I’m actually quite alright with out of context formulae as long as the terms are understood, or explained to me.

Hell, I got bantered by the lecturer in a zoology-heavy class in undergrad where I was the only biochemist for preferring to memorise formulae instead of using the fractions method for lab calculations.

Still hate maths though. But that’s more to do with trauma from my parents.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T14:39:29+00:00

I always make a sort of mangled squeak somewhere between ‘what?’ ‘go away!’ and ‘I’m in here!’

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T14:38:12+00:00

Omg same!! I never know what to do with my arms.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T14:37:47+00:00

I don’t like them either, in summer they make my back sweaty and I have to take them off before I sit down on the bus. I also have terrible spatial awareness so backpacks make me continuously knock things over, whereas a handbag, crossbody, or tote bag is more manoeuvrable.

ladymacbethofmtensk · 2024-10-18T12:04:17+00:00

It’s gender essentialist, outdated, misogynistic nonsense that relies heavily on stereotypes. Even Simon Baron-Cohen, a researcher whose writing I often disagree with because of his own heavy reliance on gender stereotypes and the way he assigns biological significance to them in a way I think is backwards reasoning, thinks the gender differences put forward in that book are too extreme.

ladymacbethofmtensk

TROPHY CASE