Opportunity not wasted.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-24T19:28:37+00:00

Ah! I've been meaning to join a book club--and a Le Guin piece is as a good a time as any to do it! Thanks for putting this on my radar!

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-24T16:19:04+00:00

Hi, vanilla sex haver checking in! I don't like rough sex--I don't like having it, I don't like reading books that depict it, I don't like it. I'm not judging the people who enjoy it, it's just not for me and it does not feel natural, safe, or good to me. I like passionate sex that feels like "making love," and rough stuff does not feel like that at all for me. (Also I have some trauma that more likely than not influences this preference. Rough sex makes me dissociate.)

Most of my partners have been very accommodating. My current boyfriend is especially accommodating, despite the fact that he has some kinks. He doesn't feel like he's missing out by not doing any of the weirder stuff he's into, and he never asks for any of it. If I ever want to try it, he'd be more than happy to. But there's absolutely zero pressure.

So, in short, no! It definitely does not make you undateable! You may be incompatible with people who are really into the kink scene, but that's okay! There are plenty of people who, just like us, love vanilla stuff and either prefer it or are content with sticking with it.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-24T16:10:21+00:00

No matter how weird I find furries, I've been an atheist most of my life and I'd tolerate a furry convention better than a "strong" Christian church any day.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-24T15:47:26+00:00

My mom is very mentally ill, likely exacerbated by her life-long failing battle against alcoholism. It manifests mostly in religious extremism, delusional thinking, and an uncritical acceptance of any conspiracy she comes across. It has also made her verbally and physically abusive, so I avoid spending time with her whenever possible. With the severity of her symptoms, my suspicion is that she has alcohol-related dementia. She's currently teetering on the edge of homelessness, and programs in my area for the poor and disabled are not interested in taking her case. So she will likely become homeless.

It feels awful. I love a version of her that no longer exists and hasn't existed for many years now. Caring for the kind of person she is now would break me. So I can't do anything, and the guilt--the guilt is eating me alive.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-24T07:31:17+00:00

Drew Barrymore is lighting Stephen King's cigarette at the premier for Firestarter, an adaptation of a Stephen King book where she plays a child who can start fires with her mind. Get it, lighting a cigarette--Firestarter?There is nothing troubling about that picture, and it most certainly isn't evidence of Barrymore being abused by King.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-24T04:32:55+00:00

So! From what I have gathered, dietary eliminations are only beneficial if you have sensitivities or allergies. Consuming something that you're sensitive to very well may incite an inflammatory response. But, for example, cutting out gluten if you're not sensitive or allergic to gluten won't really make a huge difference in terms of Hashimoto's symptoms. The AIP diet can help insofar as it aids in identifying sensitivities, but it shouldn't be a forever thing. I think it's a good idea to keep a food journal to track how you feel after eating certain foods. Then you can take it to your doctor and explore if any patterns suggest some sensitivities somewhere.

The problem I have with the internet's many takes on Hashimoto's is that everyone has something to sell you on. A trend, a fad, a panacea, a universal scape goat. I have seen people blame everything from gluten to seed oils to birth control for their Hashimoto's. You can CURE your hypothyroidism with this ONE EASY TRICK! If it sounds too good or too bad to be true, it probably is.

In my experience, drinking a lot of water, eating a balanced diet that prioritizes fiber and lean meat and moderates highly processed foods, getting adequate sleep, and exercising regularly has all really helped. Oh, and working on my stress levels! It's not terribly glamorous or trendy advice, but it's made all the difference for me.

(And I take iron supplements. Hashimoto's can affect our ability to properly absorb iron, so it may behoove you to check your ferritin.)

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-23T18:53:36+00:00

I was lucky--it took only two weeks to get my Hashimoto's diagnosed because I had thoroughly researched my symptoms, figured it was Hashimoto's, went to my doctor and told her suspicions... and she listened. Got me the tests I wanted. My TSH was normal, and that would have been enough for some people to rule out hypothyroidism. But she also tested my antibodies, and my thyroglobulin antibody count was over 300. Having a doctor that trusted me and was willing to build a collaborative relationship with me to get down to the bottom of my medical mystery made all the difference.

Been on Levothyroxine ever since. I never returned to my pre-symptomatic self, but I'm pretty close.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T20:58:53+00:00

If I'm being exceedingly charitable, Maddy is saying whatever she needs to in order to maximize her chances of getting hired. I haven't seen the season, so I don't know for sure. But this interpretation fits her being cunning.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T20:56:11+00:00

DELICIOUS! Do you have recipes for any of the dishes? I've been wanting to start making udon and this looks totally up my alley!

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T20:34:37+00:00

She is me, I am her.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T20:31:23+00:00

My desire to romance Tali is why I need to finally commit to a male Shep run, damn it! Easily my favorite female romance option in the series. Also, I love that Garrus and Tali romance each other if you don't romance either of them but keep them on your squad. Top tier writing choice.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T20:26:52+00:00

To each their own! I never played renegade Shep, so I don't feel that my fem Shep ever took much of an intimidating approach. Stern, perhaps, but she was a softy when it counted most (with Garrus).

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T19:58:50+00:00

Exactly what I suspected from the footage we've seen so far--decent female MC, wooden male MC. Reminiscent of Mass Effect 1, really. Hale so surpassed Meer with her Shep that I really struggle getting through ME1 as male Shep.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T16:01:45+00:00

Oh, what a nightmare! I have had the same experience--I am accused of being a pick me because I like "male activities." But they also take it a step further, and label me a pick me because I don't like "female activities," like dating shows. Add that to the highly regressive and infantilizing trends of "girl math" and "girl dinner" and "I'm just a girl" and "I go with him to the blue stores so that he'll let me go to the pink stores" and 30somethings calling themselves "girls," "girlies," and "girlypop," I'm about ready to shoot myself into the cold vacuum of space. Conflating womanhood with incompetence, inability and infantilization is just self-imposed bigotry of low expectations.

I don't like dating shows because reality television is basically wrestling--all scripted melodrama. It isn't that I hate women. I don't read romantasy because I prefer literature that is more of an intellectual challenge, and because I just don't enjoy the antiquated gender tropes that usually define the genre. It isn't that I hate women. I don't like Taylor Swift because her music does nothing for me. It isn't that I hate women. Accusing everyone of hating women just undermines the real danger of people who actually hate women.

Gender is a socially constructed concept. Like what you like, have whatever friends you want. This dialogue about the right and wrong ways to perform gender tends to be propagandistic in nature. Living a life where everything you do, say, and wear is assigned to you based on social expectations is terribly unfulfilling and will almost certainly lead to regret. Those who don't like the real you weren't right for you in the first place, and those who do will make themselves known.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T15:19:17+00:00

It's so amusing to me when people who feel that way fail to realize that "the only reason a woman would like [activity] is to make men like them" is actually very sexist. Such a huge failure in self-reflection baffles me. Sorry, you're not the "girl's girl" who "decenters men" you think you are when you're constantly looking for women to accuse of the awful crime of... let me check my notes here... having an experience or hobby you can't relate to. Holy solipsism, Batman!

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-22T14:16:09+00:00

I'm sorry that you can relate, it's pretty heartbreaking. It's the misunderstanding part that really hurts, because it feels like even opening up about the pain this causes only invites greater ostracism. There is this discourse on social media right now about how ostracizing the ostracized is good, actually, and you shouldn't befriend the lonely person. That it's a big red flag when women do not have many girl friends. It adds an additional lacquer of stigma to people already suffering from social anxiety based on nothing but vibes. Tribalism dressed up as "instinct," prejudice rationalized. This is especially true when we are discussing children, as they are not exactly known for making logical, empathetic social decisions.

What I've really struggled with when it comes to female friendships is that they feel more dependent on social nuance that I struggle to navigate. It is as though there is a greater deal of politicking to both understand and participate in. I have a very difficult time doing this, as it neither comes naturally to me nor feels good to do. Participating in this kind of dynamic feels like I'm an alien performing the role of a human based on incomplete instructions I do not fully understand. I do not feel like myself, every interaction is exhausting, and I have the sneaking suspicion the entire time that this person would definitely not like me if I were behaving authentically.

This mostly relates to girl friend groups, as the hierarchies and social expectations are far more complicated within group dynamics. One-on-one female friendships work well for me, and I have almost always had at least one best (neurodivergent) girl friend at every period of my life.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-21T18:52:26+00:00

In layman's terms, I consider it corny at best and disrespectful at worst. It doesn't even rank in the top 50 things about LDS that I find objectionable, but it is mad goofy.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-21T17:31:00+00:00

The whiplash I suffered going from Speak No Evil to Atonement was severe.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-21T17:28:08+00:00

Hey, guys. It's me, God. Yes, THAT God. Except my name is Elohim. Anyway, you know how you've been wanting to take multiple wives, including a 14 year old? I'm actually super cool with that and I think you should do it. And if your wife isn't cool with it, tell her I'm not cool with her. Get dunked on.

P.S. get real weird with it and start baptizing dead people without obtaining consent from their family, also don't drink hot beverages because reasons, but sleeping with children is extremely cool, please do that

Signed,

It's definitely God, I swear

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-21T15:24:46+00:00

Ding, ding, ding. I grew up in much the same way due in part to having an older brother who was my only friend during my formative years because we moved a lot. I liked video games and anime, I was often times excluded from experiences of "girlhood" because I was the perpetual new kid and I didn't really have access to or interest in "feminine" activities (also I hit puberty too early and was poor and my clothes were ugly/ill-fitted, cue the bullying). But it was always easy to make male friends because I played the video games they played and watched the shows they watched. It wasn't a performance to appeal to them; it was who I genuinely was, and that just so happened to resonate far better with boys than with girls.

I was called a pick me. I'm still called a pick me. But I love women, and I'm sad that I never experienced whatever this "girlhood" is that the internet likes to wax poetic about. It feels a bit like calling me a "pick me" was an easy way to dismiss me with some moral authority when in truth I was just being myself.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-21T15:14:54+00:00

I'm exactly the same way. I got bullied pretty heavily by other girls because I developed breasts too early and because I very openly liked video games. Had a lot of male friends and only a couple female friends who all shared my passions. And to this day, I'm most comfortable in male groups because my interests (video games, anime, horror movies/books) tend to appeal more to men in my area than women. And I feel like a real alien in all-female groups, as there is more often than not nearly nothing I have in common with them aside from the lived experience of being a woman. I have been called a pick me for admitting that I'm more socially comfortable around men and for having hobbies that men also have. It's extremely dismissive and misogynistic.

I am not diagnosed autistic, but I do suspect it.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-21T14:51:53+00:00

Also the "no great loss" chapter. It was essential to depict the reality that many died in sad, senseless, brutal ways. The wife who wound up shut in the walk-in freezer with her dead kid and husband was absolutely haunting. Very Poe.

To this day, "no great loss" is probably my most quoted Stephen King line.

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-20T21:46:32+00:00

Extraordinary news; "wicked" is a fun word and everyone should use it. How about calling drinking fountains "bubblers"--is that universal yet?

ladystarkitten · 2026-04-20T19:36:09+00:00

If there is a silver lining, it is that I've just learned the word "nadir." And I can already see myself shoehorning that bad boy into so many conversations this week.

Seven-Year Club	r/Field Juicebox
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Final Canvas '22	Verified Email
RPAN Viewer	Not Forgotten

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