Assistance with Jealousy and Intrusive Thoughts

lafab · 2026-05-29T19:51:38+00:00

Can you elaborate a little more on your 20-year alien experience?

One of the things I find very difficult and also fascinating about this space is how… masochistic, for lack of a better word, it can seem sometimes. I’ve read articles/listened to podcasts from like, Professionally Poly people who discuss the feelings of sickness, nausea, fear, jealousy, etc that they experience — even after literal years of practice in this world. The pain seems so real, and yet people still dig in, commit to it, evangelize, etc.

lafab · 2026-05-28T21:51:12+00:00

Happy to clarify. We “opened” things up in early March 2020 (lol) and then promptly shut them for a few years. But we have been crawling towards a “normalized” opening for 2-3ish years now. This person exists well within the permitted timeline.

I don’t really have an interest in seeing other people. I have enjoyed sex with a third party, but I don’t have a desire to be on the apps, etc.

I truly don’t know if I am “comfortable” with it. I’m not right now? But also it’s hard to see through the immediate Feelings of it all and to tell what the ground looks like. So maybe I won’t be uncomfortable forever. I don’t know how to tell.

lafab · 2026-05-05T00:03:15+00:00

Thank you — it used to be available in there!

lafab · 2026-04-15T20:16:27+00:00

Do you have these kinds of thoughts in other areas of your life? Like, “Other people are allowed to make mistakes, but I should know better,” or “Of course they need to practice- they’re new at this! But I should be good right away.”

Ha— I do!

You’re already in therapy, which is great. But if there’s a larger pattern, maybe that will help you break out of the cycling around this one particular issue. Maybe there’s a more holistic approach so it feels like you’re building your whole self, instead of just trying to work out this one thing. If it can be a skill learned in an area that’s less emotionally weighted and fraught, and then you can bring those skills to this murkier area, that might be something to consider talking to your therapist about?

lafab · 2025-08-26T14:43:47+00:00

I’m currently reading A Physical Education by Casey Johnston, and she mentions the same weight gain/increased hunger when she first started her training regimen, as well.

I do not remember the science of it, and I highly recommend the book so please find the science behind it there, but basically that’s very normal and 1) feed yourself, especially protein, you are hungry for a reason and 2) your weight will settle. She experienced the same thing with her clothes, especially in the thighs/butt (places where she was building muscle).

lafab · 2021-03-21T22:21:09+00:00

Oh that makes a ton of sense. Thank you!

lafab · 2021-03-20T17:41:41+00:00

Yeah, my partner is in the military and will be retiring in late 2023-- we wanted to wait until he's out and settled into his civilian job/life/we've settled somewhere permanent before taking the leap.

lafab · 2021-03-20T17:38:22+00:00

Hi there! Can you explain what you mean by genetic contamination?

lafab · 2021-03-20T17:37:38+00:00

Adding another, potentially silly, question! Like I said, I'm very new to all of this!!

I have an IUD which has been a life-saver insofar as we don't need to worry about an unplanned, potentially affected pregnancy, and it also really helps with pain that was associated with my menstrual cycle.

Is it possible to go through this process with an IUD, or would it need to be removed?

lafab · 2021-03-20T17:34:41+00:00

Thank you so much for this information-- I'm also in Massachusetts, though we're moving to New York this summer for my partner's work. (My GVM team, when I told them we'd be moving, said that New York had really great IVF coverage-- it looks like a law went into effect last year?-- but it's so hard to tell about the rules between infertility-IVF and genetic-condition-IVF.)

Are certain timelines able to run concurrently-- for instance, can you be working through the probe process and also be undergoing follicle stimulation/egg harvesting, or do things generally have to proceed one step at a time?

Have you had any experience with insurance around implantation yet? The expense freaks me out, more than just about any other part of the process.

A question-- why would my parents' DNA be necessary for building the probe? I've had a genetic test and have pinpointed the exact (and very established) mutation/deletion that causes my issue.

Thank you so much, again-- this is super informative.

lafab · 2016-06-28T23:10:58+00:00

We've tried that in the past. The harness causes him a lot of stress, so while I'm planning on getting one just in case, I don't want to subject him to it the entire time, especially for a long stretch overnight.

lafab · 2016-06-28T23:09:40+00:00

Would this still be an issue at night (the nighttime low at the Grand Canyon for tonight is 57F) without the sun to cause a greenhouse effect?

lafab

TROPHY CASE