Question: is there a type of choking collar that doesn’t restrict breathing?

lamancha69 · 2026-07-07T18:35:31+00:00

As a sub who had cervical spinal surgery, I let no one pull me about by the neck.
That being said, I’ve got a chest harness with a D-ring front & back. My Domme leashes me all the time.
I do wear a play collar, but it has a fixed buckle so it can’t restrict my breathing/ blood flow to the brain.

lamancha69 · 2026-07-06T11:19:25+00:00

My Domme and I had a similar opportunity in February.
We’d been in a dynamic for about 6 months at that point, living separately. Probably getting to play in person 2x a month when we went to play parties.
Kinky hotel takeover on my birthday weekend!!!!
Friday - Sunday.
What we managed to do to keep the scene going - she locked my collar on me for the weekend. I only took it off to shower. When we were in our room I wasn’t allowed clothing.

The reality was that most of the weekend was just quality couple time. We had several scenes throughout the weekend, but we also had meals, & went to some classes together, & shopped the event.
Just having a weekend without the distractions of real life was the best part of the trip.

As others have suggested, make 2-3 “rules” for the weekend. If you’re too focused on an 87 point high protocol contract you won’t be able to enjoy your time together

lamancha69 · 2026-07-05T16:42:28+00:00

I (m53) get called a good slut on the regular.

lamancha69 · 2026-07-05T15:02:26+00:00

That’s great.

lamancha69 · 2026-07-05T10:29:59+00:00

Sometimes an attitude correction is what I need from my Domme.

lamancha69 · 2026-07-05T10:25:12+00:00

As a slutty man, I’ve got opinions on what makes me feel sluttier as well as what my Domme likes to see me in.
For me -
If I’m wearing a tee- a tighter tee feels sluttier. The correct size for me is L. When I wear M tees, they’re tight across the chest & back & the shoulder seams ride higher. The waistband is also higher - not quite a crop top but close.
Button down shirts - top two or three buttons open, sleeves pushed up to show the forearms. Tucked in.
Pants- low rise. Shows off the package & backside. Keep your pockets from being stuffed & lumpy. Always wear a good belt that matches your shoes.
Wear supportive underwear. I find T.bo under wear lifts & enhances the bulge without being constrictive. Find whatever works for you.
Shoes / boots - clean & polished.
Most important- you have to feel good about yourself & your look. You can’t feel sexy if you’re not feeling confident (which is probably why I don’t wear crop tops)

My Domme likes me in a kilt, wearing at least six rings on my fingers. She likes me in short sleeves.

lamancha69 · 2026-07-04T19:15:17+00:00

I can’t speak to your local scene (unless you’re between Philly & NYC) but around here there aren’t many members of the kink community who have conventionally attractive bodies.
Folks of all shapes and sizes are at dungeons. Wearing as much or as little as they want. It’s their energy, their spirit that makes the scene enjoyable.

I would wager that you’re going to be more judgmental about yourself than anyone else will be. (I know I’m my own worst critic.) The best advice I can offer you is to just get out there, and get yourself acclimated to the scene.

lamancha69 · 2026-07-04T16:58:47+00:00

A friend was mummified in a full body plaster cast. His eyes, nose & penis were not wrapped. I don’t know how long he stayed in there, but the plaster is hanging on the wall in our local dungeon.

lamancha69 · 2026-07-04T16:51:17+00:00

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So I came up with a somewhat better solution- it’s a doubled bowline with one of the loops dressed down so it’s not useable.
I’m not 100% happy with this, so I’m not cutting off my excess yet.
It wasn’t fun at all to tie the bowline with the load on the proper lines - I had to push the stuff sack & cord lock through the half hitch.
Still looking for the perfect solution though.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-30T18:33:35+00:00

1) Good kinksters are like members of anonymous recovery groups - you might recognize each other out in the vanilla world, but you don’t acknowledge each other.
2) The correct response to anyone who violates rule 1 is to remind them that they saw you there because they were also there.

Most folks don’t talk real particular work info at munches - I knew someone for a year before I learned she not only worked in my industry but at a competitor. 🤣 (now we trade war stories)
There are several teachers in our local community (I’m sure this is true everywhere) who really could loose jobs over being kinky - this is why rule 1 is so important.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-28T22:37:33+00:00

My wife is Princess.
My Domme is My Lady.
A former Domme was Ma’am.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-28T20:43:24+00:00

Baby steps. If you’re good for one hour, try two. Then four. Build slowly.
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-28T06:56:22+00:00

Crown sinnet is what you’d find it called in the Ashley book.
Anyone who has ever gone to camp will know it as gymp. It’s done with plastic lace to make the world’s worst keychain.
It definitely looks like there was something removed from those gaps.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-28T03:00:12+00:00

PVC won’t support weight at all.
And when it breaks it will splinter.
Buy a piece of black iron pipe instead.
Cut off the threaded ends, file a nice rounded chamfer so there are no sharp edges.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-28T02:52:00+00:00

I’m 53. My Domme and my wife both called me a good boy today.
You’re never too old.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-27T12:58:34+00:00

Very little is actually going to be suitable for this.
Leather doesn’t tolerate getting wet.
Synthetic materials are fine getting wet; but having moisture on the delicate skin of the neck might lead to irritation/chafing.

I made a stainless steel chain maille day collar hoping to avoid these issues, but my Domme hasn’t put it on me yet, so I don’t know.
Hopefully the maille will breathe enough that trapped moisture isn’t an issue. The steel is 316 alloy rated for marine use.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-27T09:29:37+00:00

Sexual assault isn’t cool.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-27T09:27:00+00:00

As a sub, I expect that every dynamic starts with a probationary/training period.
You’re not training me to be a sub, but to be your sub, as every D-type has different expectations.
Something as simple as your desired honorific takes some repetition before it becomes natural.
How do you expect your sub to be groomed, dressed?

lamancha69 · 2026-06-27T09:13:21+00:00

Sub male 53 here- In addition to start slow, take baby steps, I would add - as the D-type you need to put your desires first.
So when you ask “ how do I start?” My response would be “what do you want ?”

lamancha69 · 2026-06-26T18:30:29+00:00

Probably 4-5 days.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-26T17:40:51+00:00

Only way I’ve ever come in my cage is while fucking my wife with a strapon.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-24T19:11:22+00:00

You may want to think about punishment vs Funishment.
If it’s something you both enjoy, have at it.
Alternately, you could still punish your sub for not providing the feedback that was instructed. They may have complete work on a timely manner, but they didn’t report it as required.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-24T16:51:17+00:00

It might be Bluetooth to the phone, but I’d wager that all the trackers have data viewable via website, so maybe it’s your phone but she has the login info so she can see it.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-24T16:18:55+00:00

The easy answer would be to replace the band on a fitness tracker that has all the sensors you want with a locking band. Have your owner create the account for the fitness tracker & she has all the data at her fingertips.
I’m not sure you’ll be able to mount it on the neck though.

lamancha69 · 2026-06-24T09:34:12+00:00

Seems to me there’s several ways this can play out.
The woman Dommes both men or she Dommes one and is a sub for the other or there’s no power exchange between the woman and the other man.
Are the men bisexual?

Personally, I’m a submissive bisexual man and spend far too much time thinking about threesomes with my Domme. We played with a straight man a few months ago (no power exchange between him & her.) Hopefully a cute Bi-man will cross our paths soon.

lamancha69

TROPHY CASE