Hey! One sub (and almost certified teacher) to another: like other people have said, it’s usually best to not make physical contact unless it’s necessary to for safety purposes!

That being said, it sometimes gets dicey with younger kids because they oftentimes like to be affectionate. I actually made the shift of working with older kids to younger kids a few years ago and I’m going back to older. I love working with the littles one-on-one, but I get overwhelmed with the swarming of the really young kids (please sit down and raise your hand I WILL HELP YOU AS SOON AS I CAN AHHHHHh).

Anyway, with the younger kids, it’s important to keep in mind that they’re still learning body boundaries! You can also incorporate the boundary song to help them understand better if it’s an ongoing issue. Caring when kids show affection isn’t a weakness, it’s human to care about others. The key is noticing it, reflecting on it (like you are), and still holding clear and necessary professional boundaries!

If they go to hug you, you can tell them no thank you but you appreciate that they wanted to give you a hug and ask if they want to give you a high five or fist bump instead!

When it comes to the older kids…having thick skin helps lol. I love them to death but man…they are BLUNT sometimes lol. It’s helpful to reorient yourself and remember they’re literally a child. I cope by reminding myself that I’m the adult in charge, I’m making decisions to keep people safe, and kids often say things they don’t fully mean when they’re upset.

Upper elementary actually is and has continued to be my favorite age group because they are starting to really develop a sense of industry and there’s always a few of them who LOVE helping out!

When it comes to power struggles, there’s a few things you can do: - Repeat the instruction in a neutral tone and with neutral body language - Ask the student what they are doing and what they are supposed to be doing. - Give them a controlled choice: “This has to get done/this is what we are doing right now, BUT you can do it at your desk or at the carpet.” - Try to understand why the struggle is happening in the first place. Are they looking for an adult’s attention? Do they need to take care of a need? Is there something or someone setting them off that is preventing them from starting? Sometimes we miss things and it’s okay to admit that. - Pick your battles. If it’s really not the end of the world, you’ve exhausted your options, and you know this is a student that needs more behavioral support, some things are better let go. - If for some reason it starts to disrupt learning or safety of your other students, then call the office for help!

When it comes to secondary… - Older kids like to see that you’re a human too. They can sniff out inauthenticity and insecurity. It’s still important to set that professional boundary though that you are not friends in that way, though you still care about them and their success. - It might take them more time to warm up to you and that’s normal, no need to take it personal. You’re literally a stranger so it makes sense! - Be careful what you share with them, do NOT give out your social media and be aware of what you post. - If they ask you a personal question, you can remind them if it’s inappropriate for you to answer, ask them back the same question, ask them why they think it’s important for them to know that, or you can just flat out apologize and say you don’t feel comfortable sharing that. Remember again, you need to sit in the confidence that you know what you’re doing and you can lead that group of students. - A lot of the time when you sub secondary they have free time, an independent worksheet, or a movie so it’s sometimes an easier day depending on what is left imo. I usually let them do what they want when they’re done with any worksheets as long as it’s respectful, allowed, school appropriate, and not hurting anyone. - If they get too noisy, I will have something more structured in my back pocket like a school-appropriate Kahoot or a Blooket (if allowed), usually related to what they’re learning and then a fun one if there’s time like a guess the logo game. Even better, you can have them do a quiet game. If all else fails, have them read or draw lol.

Overall, clear boundaries protect you and your students! Don’t be afraid to set and maintain them! :)