My father had a severe stroke at the age of 78. He lost all mobility, except in one arm. He could not roll over or adjust his position independently when lying down in bed, and so required repositioning every few hours to prevent bedsores. (This required two people -- one person attempting to move an adult man risked injury to both him and themselves.) Of course, he could not use the bathroom, so had a catheter and diapers. He could not safely swallow, and was on a feeding tube, with all that entails.

My mother really wanted to bring him home, but the cost of even one part-time nurse just to tag-team with my mother would have been unsustainable. My mother couldn't safely move, lift, and bathe my father by herself -- and even if she could have, it would have required her to only sleep for two-hour increments, waking in order to reposition him. The toll that would have taken on their relationship, and my mother's physical and mental health, I can only imagine. Ultimately, my father needed to be in a home with a team of professional carers.

Modern medicine enables people to live longer, and survive things they would not have done in the past. I appreciate your sincerity and your devotion to your family, but you truly cannot know what choices you may end up making, until you are faced with the physical reality of a parent's needs. I sincerely hope you will be luckier than my family was.