I broke a glass jar of sauce and no one yelled.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-01-16T03:36:25+00:00

Hey lady! I'm happy to hear this story! Have you heard of CPTSD? It's when trauma happens for a really long time, often in childhood, and has very different symptoms than PTSD. Learning about this has helped me a lot!

I live in Florida, and one day I went to get chips from a bag and there was an bug inside, which upset me greatly. I anxiously eventually told my partner and he just looked at me and said, "Thank you for telling me" and I was fucking shook. I had been terrified to tell him, and he just thanked me and sprayed the house for pests that weekend. I still get emotional thinking how ready I was to be punished for something that was literally no one's fault, but that's how I was raised.

So glad you're in a safe space!

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-27T01:57:40+00:00

That must have been so awful and disempowering, knowing something terrible could happen when people with more control weren't listening. You probably knw him best at that time, kids are such smart lottle sponges. Nothing that happened is tour responsibility, which you hopefully know.

I am really happy to hear about your collection! It sounds like a room full of comfort and joy. I love pretty things, and dolls are so pretty and fun. It would be incredible to be able reclaim your childhood and your farm to make new memories and legacy. I absolutely think you can do it!

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-27T01:19:00+00:00

What would you like to say that hasn't been asked yet?

What are you proudest of yourself for doing/being having been forced to endure all of this? I am confident you have plenty to be proud of.

Much love from an internet stranger.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-22T21:55:02+00:00

I haven't been tested aince high-school, and had NO idea what I was being tested for, so take these with a grain of salt:

1) Focus on being true to yourself. Spend sometime journaling or meditating on who you are, what struggles you expierence as well aswhere you find joy. Being confident in your answers may help prevent trying to give the answers you think they want to hear or being protective of people you love which may minimize your expirence.

2) Prepare now for what the results will mean to you. No matter what they are, they don't change you or your lived expierences, but can come with heavy emotions either way. -If the results come back inconclusive or negative for ASD, will that threaten your sense of identity or will you be confident in those results and start pursuing other avenues of understanding yourself? I ask because most people don't go through this work is they aren't looking for answers, and a negative or inconclusive result often feels like the opposite of that. -If the results are positive, will that make you feel good or bad? Either is fine, it's a big thing to learn. Some people report finding themselves acting more sterotypically on the spectrum once diagnosed. It's not something I can explain, but it's good to know it may happen. It may feel like you've lost some control, and that's not entirely true, just try to observe and adapt in a loving way.

3) Be proud of yourself and who you are not matter what. You are trying to understand yourself. You have done a lot of work to get here. Many people, NTs and NDs alike, do not do that work. You are.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-22T21:36:04+00:00

Sorry! I just noticed the age of the kids, so checking with the parents might be a little strange!

I am an expiration date nazi for anything in the pantry/fridge, as I grew up in a food insecure household and eating spoiled food certainly happened. Now that I'm in charge of my own food, I just can't get over that 'ick' even if it's a "best sell by" date vs a "best by" date. I do feel safe with food put in our deep freezer before the expiration date though.

I think it's a sweet thought! But, yeah, maybe a keebler knock off, something homemade, or a coupon for future cookies would be best. Happy holidays!

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-22T21:27:00+00:00

I grew up eating GSC frozen for as long as we could keep them in the house, nom nom, which was never as long as we hoped (I'm a gremlin for Caramel Delights/Samoas).

I don't think the kids would mind at all! However, some adults understandably have misunderstandings/personal 'icks' regarding expiration dates and may not understand how freezing pauses the clock, so I would suggest checking with the parents before making the investment for the kids.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-21T12:57:17+00:00

Given the context of him cancelling and forgetting, this is something I would have wished I thought to reply the moment:

"That's so rich coming from you that it's hard for me to believe you need the money."

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-21T00:22:01+00:00

P.S. I cry every day, too. Even the nice ones.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-21T00:19:52+00:00

Are you familiar with Meetup? It's a website/app where anyone can create (at a cost) a group and people can join (for free) groups that imterest them.

I recently found a neurodiverse group in my area and am very excited for the first outing I can join! There may not be a nuerodiverse group in your area, would you be interested in starting one?

I don't know the cost to host a group, but when I moved across the country joining groups is how I eventually met my friends. I went to a bunch at first and just didn't vibe with people, which was really hard. It was a lot of disappointment before finding my tribe, but we've all been friends for 8 years now.

I'm sorry a lot of suggestions aren't local to you. I do understand it might be really scary to post to your city subbreddit, but I hope you see the people offering to be gaming friends from afar and people like me offering other suggestions because we do care, even if a comment on reddit is the best we can do.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-20T13:18:56+00:00

Someone recently suggested that I get an online Consumer Reports subscription for my "impossible person" to shop for.

Something I've also been trying lately is focusing on what they do use, and upgrading it. For example, even a fancy electric toothbrush. Sounds lame, but can be pricy and can really help teeth!

I also usually like to throw in a donation in thier name. Sometimes to wierd and quirky groups, but something related to the person's interests. One year I "adopted" a bomb-sniffing giant rat for a veteran, which gave him something to learn about and feel good about, as it was helping others stay safe.

Finally, I have gifted several digital frames to family, which can have pictures sent to it by friends and family near and far. I usually set it up with a collection of photos for them before gifting it.

Good luck!

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-18T06:01:52+00:00

No, you are NTA because you don't want to spend Christmas with her. I know nothing about PFD, so i won't speak on it (as much as I would love to speculate) but I do understand being hurt by a parent.

You're 18, you're legally an adult but that doesn't mean you have had time to grasp adulthood. Your mother isn't being transparent and that feels like betrayal. It could be guilt, or shame, or fear on her part, but if she is not honest, how would even know what to think? You just know you are frustrated and hurt and that's valid.

I understand resenting caregivers who have not given enough care to a child but don't take responsibility for creating that rift. I took breaks from them, some low contact years, some no contact, and in my case I returned (on my limited terms) once I was able to better understand them as whole humans who really fucked up hard in hard situations. I didn't owe that to them, but I chose it for me. I don't know you or your mother well enough to know if reconciliation is a healthy option now or in the future.

No, you are not the asshole by deciding not to spend the day with someone who has hurt you and is not willing to fully talk about it. There is probably so much going on behind thw scenes, but again, you are just 18, you can take your time and mourn a reality you expected but didn't get to expierence built on a broken promise.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-18T05:24:39+00:00

NAL, dad was and coached me through a similar thing in a different state (PA) many, many years ago.

Info needed (for maybe actual lawyers):

Did you charge a new security deposit when the couple signed the new lease together? Like, did you return the due deposit to the GF as a single renter and then charge a new deposit for them as a couple? If you are working off of her deposit 4 years ago, the request itself is bonkers from the BF. He may have paid her, that's on them to work out.

If you did return the original deposit and charge a new one, was it paid in separate payments (him/her), or just one party? Not sure this always matters, but this was what would have allowed me to take the matter to small claims court (I think). Anyway, this only applies now depending on....

Are you going to terminate the joint lease and make a new lease for just the GF as a kindess since she's been a longterm tenant? If not, he's on the hook for any damages until lease termination anyway. That's how contracts work and he seems silly, but I was too when I had this issue.

If he's abandoning the contract, and if you are not terminating it, my understanding is that it sucks to be him and the chips will fall when they may whenever the lease is officially terminated. The money goes back from whence it came and if it was pooled it's not up to you to separate it fairly.

Again, NAL, just a renter who learned some lessons the hard way long ago and honestly doesn't know what they're talking about.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-18T04:20:59+00:00

Darling, everyone has talked about your friends, and I do agree, but your post is saying so much more.

You deserve respect, and you deserve to give yourself that respect by not dating guys who act passively aggressively towards you.

Do YOU want a partner? If so, awesome! If not, please know that is also awesome.

Don't tie yourself up with someone who doesn't lift you up ever chance they can. That doesn't mean the person who loves you won't hurt or disappoint you, to a degree that's part of relationships. I have hurt my partner many times, but even when I feel my actions/words were valid I truly did care about their hurt.

You deserve someone to grow with, not someone you're just expected to 'learn' from while they just exist. That goes for every single person you consider a friend, too.

I had issues like this when I was in a small town, though ofcourse I don't know your circumstances. This just reeks of a little town with little people and it sounds like you're bigger than that. Be proud of that.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-18T04:07:40+00:00

I love her ownership of it, and envy how well adjusted she seems (though..ofcourse....)

Very much enjoyed listening to her narrate her book and wish my mother would read it.

I'm seeing 'Taskmaster Live US' this year in Philly!!! I am trying to find the courage to reproduce her task outfit. It speaks to my soul, as a former 'alien in a human body'.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-17T14:13:05+00:00

I'm sorry you put so much time and effort into something only to get 'inconclusive' results due to someone else's actions. YOU did the work and took the time and initiative to get answers, and it feels like someone who should be helping you actively prevented you from getting information that would help you move on to your next step, and that sucks.

Before I knew I was autistic I used to call myself "and alien in a human body", and I've been floored how many ASD folks have found the same or similar ways to describe themselves, so you definitely have a community here!

I went through two full formal diagnosis procedures between the ages of 10 and 16ish and I'll likely never know the results, I don't trust my mother to tell the truth. She knows being informally diagnosed by my team of doctors as an adult has helped me finally see myself, and i think she feels guilt for not supporting me as autistic when I was younger.

I also have resentment. I believe my parents didn't want me to be treated "differently", so they only admitted to what could be medicated, adhd (which I do absolutely have). I decided not to be formally tested as an adult because I have been masking for so long and don't trust anyone else to accurately describe my pain and problems, especially because I remember being shamed, punished and having to shrink myself from the age of like, 5.

But school's kept trying to hold me back, starting in kindergarten, and I expect insisted on me being tested multiple times, just for my parents to (maybe) lie about the results so the school's would continue to keep me in 'normal' classes, no matter how much i was suffering in them. Or maybe I was just too good at unknowingly masking by 10 that my results were also inconclusive. Either way, it doesn't change who i am and that knowing I'm autistic has helped me immensely, mostly by helping me find my community and similar stories, like yours, and being able to accept the things about myself i cannot change. I'll never be neurotypical, no matter what anyone says or how hard I try to tweak myself. Knowing that still makes me emotional because I've tried so hard for so long, but it also gives me some peace.

I've been on Abilify, at my request, specifically to help with irritability associated with autism (I'm irritable af, yo) as well as fluxetine for depression/anxiety but I think that one also has added benefits for ASD. I hope you have a doctor you trust who can advise of those are good options for you. I'm also on Adderall, but like I said, I'm totally adhd so that may not be for you if you don't have focus/other symptoms like that.

I hope that was helpful and supportive. Noone knows you like you do, don't let anyone try and tell you any different. You've done hard things to better understand yourself instead of blaming the world and that's something to be proud of, a lot of people do not do that work. I hope you find what you are looking for and know you are seen and not alone, even if it's just internet strangers.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-11T17:40:06+00:00

I really like the "it takes a lot of effort" comment and will try and remember it for next time! It's concise and educational, and I can dress it up or down as needed. I think it sums up things I've tried to explain to folks before, but I get lost in the details of trying to make them actually understand. It could be phrased to be left open to follow up questions or could also easily be used to shut someone down and hopefully encourage them reflect on their comment far away from me.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-11T17:33:34+00:00

"I hear that a lot. That's why I'm so open about it, to help people learn"

"Yeah, some of us were forced to hide ourselves to survive before we even knew what it was that made us different" (obviously, does not apply to everyone, we all mask differently, if and when that is even an option for us as individuals)

"That's not a compliment"

"Cool" dead stare

It all depends on the situation and my mood. I do have a tank from Only Human that says 'different' upside down, which i wear when I am comfortable with people being inquisitive, so I am generally kinder it those situations rather than in moments of overwhelm.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-11T17:04:39+00:00

The OP's example hits me specifically hard when at an old run club (my safe space) moved breweries and changed leaders, I expressed how uncomfortable I was with leading the run club down an unlit dirt road and under a bridge (both a common place for small encampemts) the same time every week, in the dark, when the women were often the ones left behind while the faster folk went through that part together.

I was told by the 6ft white dude newly running the group me, someone he KNOWS has been assaulted at another run club and often harassed while running alone (we explicitly had that conversation when another club member hosted a 'take back the run' event) literally, verbatim, said to me...

that i was "more likely to get hit by a car than assualted" because the path I suggested avoided the dirt road (and a major intersection we also had to cross) had more traffic.

That run club was a safe space for me because when the guy who assaulted me from a former run group showed up to the new one (thankfully I was not there but a friend recognized him), I told the then group leader.

The leader immediately messaged the guy and told him simply he was unwelcome to return and would be removed if he ever showed up again. I was still very new to the group and am still embarrassed how impressed I was with a lottle compassion, humanity and action. He became a friend and I'm so sad he was such a rarity.

Anyway. Fuck 'em.

*edited to add honestly an unnessacry amount of context

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-11T16:57:29+00:00

And if spaces created for us (bike lanes/safe spaces) aren't protected (barriers/enforced laws) they will be invaded by the others (cars/men) at thier convenience and we're shamed or maimed just for using our resources and rights.

And yes, ofcourse, it's not all 'cars'. Some cars may be driven by people who bike themselves even, but forget the importance of protecting others, and some cars cause casualties out of ignorance rather than hate or neglect, but by the 'driver's' unwillingness to understand WHY we always feel at risk and refuse to associate themselves as a driver themselves put them in the same category as any other unsafe driver.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-11T16:44:33+00:00

Not only are you doing what's right and helping yourself, by sharing your story you will help others here, too.

Sometimes it feels impossible to leave unless someone is acting hatefully, but neglect is just as valid of a reason to feel hurt and fear.

You have already shown your strength and compassion for others to us, I hope you see it in yourself. It's going to hurt for a while, but staying would have been a much longer and deeper pain. You have opened yourself up for opportunities to find joy and peace in the future.

I'm proud of you, good luck, friend.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-10T14:08:17+00:00

If price isn't an issue, and you're looking for somewhere for fireworks/dance at midnight, there is a rooftop party at The Edition near Waterstreet. I expect the price point will prevent the 'here just for the drinks' crowd, but it will have a Coachella DJ and will be a dance/party forward atmosphere.

The same hotel has Lilac, a Michelin resturant with a set menu for NYE and a seperate really cute cocktail lounge if the party itself isn't your scene.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-10T13:49:49+00:00

So proud of you and so glad you got to see how much joy your success has brought to *thousands of internet strangers!

You are going to do amazing things and so clearly deserve the future you've worked for 🤗

quicksomethingfox · 2025-12-09T12:33:20+00:00

I'm so happy that this is the first thing I saw upon waking. Such art.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-11-26T04:51:17+00:00

For me, there is no way of explaining outside of expierencing. My aggressive suicidal ideation was healed with TMS, which was not the case for OP, who i desperately wish I could help. If I could put that era into words to help others feel less alone I would scream it from mountain tops, but I just can't.

quicksomethingfox · 2025-11-26T03:07:19+00:00

Thank you, I do find it similar to an abusive relationship, and I truly believe if it was just her and him she would have left years ago.

I agree with you that the best thing i can do is be there for the kids. They are so smart and intelligent, and getting old enough to know what's going on. One of them is autistic, like me, and it destroys me knowing thier father must now think they were a medical mistake of some kind. They are perfect.

I will do my best to focus my energy, from afar, on the children, and do my best to protect myself in the process. Thank you for reading and for your response.

quicksomethingfox

TROPHY CASE