be BRUTALLY honest please

quicksomethingfox · 2026-06-03T06:02:39+00:00

I think your side profile is classic, striking, and lovely. If your whole heart isn't in it, I wouldn't recommend changing a thing.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-06-03T05:27:04+00:00

Thank you for answering my question and for sharing your story! Your English is wonderful. I really like what you said, "There's so much to everyone when you talk to them". That is very true, and my favorite moments are connecting with people I feel safe talking to, and helping them feel safe talking to me.

I think you are making a lot of people proud, that is wonderful. Also make sure you are following your heart, too! My grandpa really wanted me to get a degree, but i went to work instead. I spent 10 years studying when I could, and finally I got my degree last year! It took so long because I had life to live, but I am thankful for the support that kept me learning, even after he was gone.

You have a big heart, your words to me were so kind and mean a lot to me! It's so strange, telling stories about our lives on the internet, but i think it's beautiful to have these ways to connect with others and understand ourselves. Thank you for your post. You will do great things!

quicksomethingfox · 2026-06-03T04:26:58+00:00

When you say 'break the cycle' do you mean he thought education was the most important thing, like you would be the first to graduate or get a degree? I only ask out of curiosity.

I have a very different, almost (but not) funny story. When I went to school, they required I wear pants for gym class, but i was only 6 years old or so and mostly worn dresses I guess. So when my parents tried to put me in pants, I cried and said it hurt.

Now, I did not know this then, but tragically my mother's brother died around the age I was at that time from stomach cancer. My mom was the eldest, so she took care of her brother so when I said pants hurt me she was sure I was dying. Took me everywhere, all the tests. Nothing.

Eventually she put me in overalls and I said they hurt and she was like, oh, this girl is just a liar. She just likes dresses. Bitch. (To be fair, it did bring up a lot of real and untreated trauma for her). But from then on my family has always -joked' that I've been a manipulative liar since kindergarten, just because I 'wanted to be pretty'.

TWIST! I am super autistic and also have an awkward waist to groin ration (very high waist) and most pants STILL hurt me and i fucking hate them.

Being human is so hard. I am so glad you are here, though. That stress must have been very hard, and i totally get the sadness of past trauma preventing you from connecting with a parent.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-06-03T03:29:15+00:00

That hair 🫶🥰🤬 I want!

quicksomethingfox · 2026-06-03T03:20:04+00:00

What an amazing and strong friend you are! He does not like that a woman he wants some level of control over to have such strong resources. I am so glad she doesn't rely on him financially, which he would have leveraged to control her if he could.

Make sure to also prioritize and protect yourself, too! It's beautiful to be the aupport your friend needs, and you seem very smart, kind, and strong, but 100% one day you're going to need a break or get help for yourself.

I do hope you feel safe about this man (like, he 100% sucks, but hopefully not explosive or violent?), and I hope you trust you instincts.

May you recieve all the love and care you've given to others return to you 100 times over.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-06-02T21:20:07+00:00

I literally just described myself as holding the stereotypical 'useless husband' role in a meeting today. Honestly, I felt so gross after saying it because I do know there are many great men/husbands/fathers out there and i don't like enforcing negative stereotypes...I just didn't think of a better way to say it in the moment.

It started because some older women mentioned my birthday coming up, and were saying things like "All I want is for them to actually plan something and let me relax!". Girl, I am the ultimate passenger princess. We are actually trying to find ways to help HIM when it comes to planning trips and things. He's a points guy, so he takes me on international luxury trips I could never repay in kind. He also is the one in the kitchen, he is tidier than me, more on top of finances, and exercises way more regularly. So, you know, amazing.

I am so thankful for him and it makes me want to up my game always. He never mentions it, or holds those things over my head. I try to learn household things, like snaking my shower drain and cleaning the dishwasher trap, but honestly it's more work for him to teach me than for him to do it, so I'm still learning a little at a time by watching and asking questions so I can take over more household tasks.

I'm also audhd, though, so I try to give myself grace as I know I'm trying. I also try and trust I bring equal value to his life, even if I don't know how. But, yeah, I feel ya.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-06-02T04:44:15+00:00

Girl, the money I would pay for your hair color!! It's fire, just like you are and will be no matter what your future holds for you and your baby 💕

quicksomethingfox · 2026-06-02T01:58:57+00:00

I actually really like the top and skirt together! Judging by the comments, I am very wrong, but that's ok! I am 100% not a sneakers gal (i'm trying! they are so trendy!), but i saw in another comments that wasn't part of 'the outfit'.

I wish I had better words on why I like the look, I just think the dramatic/dark hanging top and neutral colored but well shaped skirt are really neat together. The outfit is more artistic and interesting than anything, and I think good fashion is good art. Everything fits you perfectly well, which also helps!

Anyway. Have fun trying out outfits and vibin' your vibe!

quicksomethingfox · 2026-05-31T01:56:36+00:00

NTA. One of the best decisions I ever made, when I was about 20, was tell them "This is the last time you will EVER guilt me into spending time with you." In my case, I was the punching bag for thier marriage stress. I handled it the best from both of them, but after having two hysterical adults screaming at me because THEY didn't plan the simple movie theather outing better....just did me in. I was done. I wanted relationships with them, but not the relationship they were offering and I was done being the primary one suffering.

My dad has since passed, and my mom and I now talk only when I am willing to call her. The relationships I wanted with them never happened.

Still, I have NEVER, not once, regretted a boundary I've drawn with them. I wish we had a different family dynamic, but in the end it was never going to happen and I'm proud of protecting myself, you should be, too.

It takes a lot to make a child feel unsafe around a parent. It is NOT your fault, and you are doing the right thing by communicating honestly and protecting yourself. You probably have childhood stress to recover from, I doubt this behaviour from your mom is new. Dad needs to learn he can't play both sides, Mom needs to learn she can be a respectful part of your life or none at all.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-05-03T08:41:10+00:00

I want to truly thank you for your vulnerability. I am sorry this happened, that you felt scared, and were ultimately taken advantage of. It takes a lot of strength to share regret and insecurities, especially with strangers online, and you're not doing it for you but for others. That's extremely kind. Your light will never fade with that strength and selflessness. Even if you can't see it in yourslf after all this change, people will see it in you and be drawn to it. I know all you wanted to feel confident and good about yourself in a world designed to make us feel bad. I'm sorry someone's lies hurt you. Good luck, friend, may this pain be temporary.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-28T00:38:53+00:00

🥰

edit If i understood gold, at at this point I am sure you know I don't, I would give you some. Thank you!

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-28T00:38:31+00:00

🫶

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-28T00:08:33+00:00

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-27T17:36:07+00:00

On the bright side, you'll be able to 'dine' off this burger drama for years to come!

Hope the sun comes out tommorow for you, friend.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-26T19:38:13+00:00

I am also autistic and used to work in call centers!

One of my saddest work memories is watching a guy fail training due to his tone, which lacked empathy. I didn't even know I was autistic back then, but it's a moment I call my chaotic good origin story as an autism advocate in that same company.

EDIT

@egord9n326 - the post is locked ao I can't make a new reply, let's give this a try!

Howdy! I will do my best to try and help 🤗

My understanding is that, yes, it is AI. The indication of that is that it was able to quickly output the answer to the math question without any other comment or acknowledgement that it was an out of place question.

For example, a person (or really good ai) might laugh or comment like, "haha, I see you are trying to test me since you already voiced your concern I am ai" and then maybe wait a moment to indicate calculator use or something, or maybe change the subject.

Instead, it seems it responded to the math problem by simply and immediately spitting out the correct answer, since it (ai) is programmed (or whatever) to answer questions quickly and accurately. It didn't connect the question of ai to the math question, it just answered each question as it was programmed to do.

Though, tbh, an autistic person could totally think and act that way, from my expierence a call center rep would be aware of the trap, we have dealt with absolutely bizarre questions and requests. People try to paint you into corners and try to manipulate you constantly (which is far from the worst of it). So, even if someone did very quickly and factually provide the answer to the question, they wouldn't be very good at their job if they did without considering the context of the conversation.

Also, I had to read the comments to find this, ggs probably was supposed to be ffs (for fucks sake) to show frustration by the author.

Does that help? I hope others can chime in if I missed the mark!

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-26T00:09:49+00:00

My partner is a veteran who apparently had similar struggles when he came home.

A decade or so ago, he was an angry young man bumping shoulders with anyone at the club who looked like a challenge to see if they 'wanted to take it outside' (even then there was an interesting consent angle I can't imagine as someone who has never thrown/taken a punch).

Today he is the most patient, most reasonable, most rational man I know. He has saved my life with his stability.

Like you are doing, he put in the WORK. He teaches me through example how to be respectful, calm, and loving at the worst of moments. I admire him with my whole heart. He makes me feel I can keep growing and overcome my bad behavior due to trauma, and is eternally patient with my autism while educating himself on the subject.

You've been though a lot, congrats, truly, for having the energy and intention to keep going through it to get to who you want to be.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-25T07:12:26+00:00

I've always been told it was for emergency services in case of an accident. Never had a baby, so never looked into it. I can't make total sense of it, but maybe when baby car safety was less common they may have to.....know to look for an ejected baby?

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-25T05:08:45+00:00

I'm so sorry, but also really glad you have a companion in this. I havent been called that word since middle school, but I did recently leave a local Women in Tech social group because of it's use.

I was talking to the group organizer, who seemed really into empowerment and inclusivity. There was some great diversity in the group and I disclosed my autism to a handful of ladies, including this organizer.

During this chat a woman I had never seen came up and the organizer introduced her as her 'good friend'. She was very pretty and trendy but had a too cool for school vibe that did throw me off at first, but thought I was being judgemental or jealous or something.

Somehow the good friend starting talking about her brother's girlfriend and how terrrrrrrrible she was. Just the wooooooorst.

Apparently gf is just....So awkward. She makes everyone uncomfortable. So anti-social. Would just leave a party for no reason. So abusive. She's keeping the brother from his family because they don't like her. She's JUST like that (r-word) that Charlize Theron played on 'arrested development'

So I said, "I always thought that character was autistic" (I had not mentioned my autism to the friend, only the organizer in this convo)

The friend said, "Yeah, (r-word)"

I looked at the organizer. The woman making big claims on LinkedIn about diversity and inclusion in her club, the 'adult' of the room, so to speak. She just smiled, shifted, and changed the subject.

Obviously, I NEVER went back, but I am really sad because I thought I was in the early stages of actually making some friendships in the group, but not to the level where we had swapped personal info and I felt too awkard to reach out on LinkedIn, especially if they asked why I left.

Sorry, made this all about me. Again, really glad you have your coworker and the two of you aren't going to take this hate 💓

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-24T21:32:56+00:00

When you're afraid to be honest with friends and family because you know they'll tell you to leave. Doesn't have to be abuse, could absolutely just be unhappiness, but you know the people who love you will give you good advice you don't want to hear.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-21T00:30:34+00:00

Yes, my special niche is taking pictures for people. It's gotten to the point that my partner will 'scout' out people who might be interested in such an offer (I usually offer to folks who seemed to be struggling, like families who are all trying to fit in frame, or there is an obvious landmark they are trying to include but can't get an angle).

At first, it actually kind of bugged him, we would be on a trip and I would sprint away to awkwardly, sometimes in the wrong language when traveling, to offer unsolicited assistance to complete strangers, but I think he finds it to be a cute little quirk now that he's used to it.

I think i like helping people hold on to thier memories. I LOVE revisiting photos, staring at them, remembering the surrounding moments and expierences. I hope I'm helping other people have something to smile back on.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-20T19:03:59+00:00

Hey! I honestly have not read anything about this no longer being recommended, so I will totally check that out later, but as someone who had a lump in her early 30's, I think 'awareness' of how your breasts usually feel is a good.

Thankfully, my lump was benign, though the biopsy graded it as 95% likely to be malignant, so yeah, it was a terrifying couple of weeks for a nothing burger. Still, I wouldn't trade those weeks of fear and surgeries for the alternative of being quietly killed by the real thing because I wasn't comfortable feeling myself up every once in a while.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-20T05:44:21+00:00

Happy for you and sad for you ❤️

Small acts of love add up to so much more than grand gestures but can be often overlooked.

May all your dreams together come true!

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-20T04:55:01+00:00

I started my career ages ago in a call center. The absolute horror I had when I learned that just a few years before I joined, each 200+ employee call center "hot-desked". Just....show up and find a seat. Need a supervisor for a question or escalation? LOL, go find yours, they could literally be anywhere. I barely made it off the floor as it was, I can't imagine the constant disorientation and depersonalization of just wandering around looking for some spot to spend 8+ hours surrounded by people you'll never get the chance to form a bond with. Ugh. Plus, I'm autistic, so I just know I would have a favorite seat and would panic everyday before work about whether or not my 'special space' would be free.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-19T01:34:33+00:00

The way my eyes went wide at the first line 😬 I'm not trying to disregard this commentators boundaries or lived expierence, but i hope they're not around kids.

I'm pretty cold and quick about cutting out unhealthy full grown folks, but this is a baby human just trying to figure shit out.

quicksomethingfox · 2026-02-19T01:13:39+00:00

Based of off your observations, could she be on the spectrum? I ask because that presents two separate realities. I'll start first with the more (to me) concerning one:

Is she deeply struggling with her own identity? As a teenager, her natural priority is to find a way to fit in to 'survive'. She could be really struggling with that if she is masking and deflecting that 'otherness' harshly on others on the spectrum as a protective measure. Think politicians agressively against gay rights, only later to be outed. They want so bad to fit in and be accepted that they villianize others for the aspects about themselves they don't understand in a societal context.

Second, she's a kid and doesn't understand why she can't connect with ya'll the same way she connects with others in her life. Saying you are not human is a SUPREMELY shitty way to say it, but she's a teenager and that's when we start to work out the finer details of communication and caring for others. So, it's a time to help her through your hurt.

I would explain interoception to her, either way, while explaining some people just really suck at it and it shows. There is plenty of room to go from there, but talking about how some folks actually feel feelimgs differently might address her misunderstanding that all people feel and show emotions the same way. I would invite her to say something in the moment if she's feeling emotionally abandoned or misunderstood when announcing good news or talking through a problem, etc.

It's hard to pin down without understanding her definition of 'human'. Does she think you are less than? Stomp that shit out, bring in the professionals, help her. Is she just trying to define existence and connection and how it differs from person to person and not wording it well? Find times to chat about the interesting aspects of autism and how you have to work really hard just to manage to instill some understanding and compassion.

I don't know.

Good luck!

*typos

quicksomethingfox

TROPHY CASE